should woman focus on family or carrer?

@redkey65 (221)
China
December 26, 2009 11:50am CST
this is leaving school time again. we need to make decision about our future. to be a wife, to set up a family, raise the children, do the houseworking, and that means no job, or take a easy-going work no matter about the low pay. on the other hand, to be a strong women who focus on carrer, to do well on her job, to get higher pay, so spend less time on her family life, even there is no marrige. so what is your idea? which one will you choose if you are in such a situation? thank you for your sharing!
1 person likes this
14 responses
• China
27 Dec 09
hello redkey,i have been working over 4 years after gratuation.my situation like this,do hard work at office and over work at busy times,after a busy work and come home,i do house work too,i don't have baby now,the life is easy to live with my husband . in China,the social and economic stress is very heavy for young people,it is really difficult to the husband if the wife be a housewife without work. i suggest you start to work firstly,once you get married and have baby,you can consider to give up work if the economic situation available.
• Mexico
27 Dec 09
Hi shuying: I think your experience as a wife could help her to make a good decition. For me, being a man I would say that you have taken the right decition for your family stability and for yourself because you are not only helping your husband but it's good that you have a successful life having a job and winning your own money i think. Thanks for your answer. I think it illustrates the situation in a good way. Hope you are having a nice day. Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays. Take Care. -Alvaro.
• China
28 Dec 09
hi Alvero,thank you and wish you have a happy new year.
@kaka135 (14130)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 09
Well, I don't think there's an absolute answer for this, it really depends individually, what the person wants in her life or what makes her choose the path. As for myself, I never thought of quitting my job, as I really enjoy my work, and I'm having good boss and colleagues and also quite good pay. I am not a workaholic, I also like to spend time with my family and do housework. Until I have my first baby 10 months ago, I have been thinking of quitting the job and staying at home to take care of my baby. Well, without my income, it can be quite difficult for my family, but I really want to spend more time taking care of my baby. I am currently finding a way to solve this problem, to find some freelance jobs or earn money online, so that I can earn some income to support my family, and also take care of my baby. I am definitely a family person.
• United States
27 Dec 09
That is a noble goal :). I have to say that is the same reason I am here (working online). I differ however, in that I do tend to be a workaholic - I am either a mom/wife or an RN. I have trouble differentiating the two. I think about family and what needs to be done at home while I am at work, and I think about work while I am at home. Good luck with your endeavor to stay at home with your baby!
• Mexico
27 Dec 09
Hi red key: I think that's a hard decition for a woman but my advice would be you should work your first or second year of marriage and then you can retire or find a half time job to raise your kids until they would be like 6 or 7 years old. I think this is a hard decitioon but it's possible to be both a good mother and an excellent worker. In case you are not sure about this, you have to make plans with your future husband to organize this but you don't have to forget that your professional is important too and that makes part of what you want to do with your life. Thanks for asking us for advice. Hope you are having a nice day. Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays. Take Care. -Alvaro.
@nemrac12 (388)
• Philippines
27 Dec 09
hi redkey, women should focus on her family first.. it happened to me already. befor i was a working mom, working as company nurse in a prestigious establishment. i have 2 kids still studying. so hired a nanny for my 2 kids to take care of everything. on the first month its doing good, but lately i noticed that their grades in school are going down.. the reason is ... i have no time to teach my 2 kids . to help them in their assignments, because i was too busy in the company. a lot of paperworks, until im bringing some of my job at home.. so i decided to quit working and focus on my family.. now their grade went up and they're happy also.since im only at home , i give the best to my family... and i have a lot of time in mylot!!!!
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
27 Dec 09
Family and career are equally imporant choices for women in society today. We just have to choose to prioritize them wisely. Choices made between family and career can influence the rest of our lives.
• Philippines
27 Dec 09
to be a wife : working most of the day 24/7. no specific working hours in a day, no overtime pay sometimes not appreciated. your job as a wife and a mom deals with different kind of careers such as you will be a teacher, doctor, accountant, cook, marketer, nanny, mentor, and so on. but your serving your time with your love ones. to be a carrer: you have specific working hours, you'll have your salary , overtime pay, career growth, you will be meeting different kind of people. but your time for your family will become limited. now for you to decide.
• Philippines
27 Dec 09
I think the answer to this question is personal and unique to every woman, and depends on what her priorities are. For me right now, I am back in school and finishing my college degree, so that is what I'm focusing on for now, instead of having a family. Maybe in the future, I would think about marriage and family, but for now my goal is being financially independent and helping my family (parents) in everyday matters. I believe that a woman, or any person for that matter, shouldn't be made to choose between her family and career. Both are important aspects of life, and it is just a matter of finding and striking a harmonious balance between the two. Thank you for this discussion. This made me think about my priorities as well. :)
• India
27 Dec 09
I think a women should focus on family as well as on her career also but some times she busy on her work and she never spend her time with her family and she never look their children this the situation she far from their family.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
27 Dec 09
Tough question... Specially that financial crisis is still around the corner. If the husband can provide well for the whole family I suggest that the wife will stay in the house and be a house keeper. If the husband income is not enough then the wife must help by finding job to help the family's need. Simple but hard to do.
• China
27 Dec 09
In my opinion,if you truly love someone,you choses to marry whith him, and even have a baby,you must sacrifice something to your family!Considering that you are busy whith your carrer all the time,suddently one day,you find your children have grown as tall as you,and your lover have become older,you miss the most precious time,your children's growing process that can't be back!It is a big shame,isn't it?For a woman,family is the most impotant,she can get more happy feelings from daily life!
@DOLLYBABY (2534)
• United States
27 Dec 09
i think a woman should remain her focus attention towards her family as well as her career.cause she needs to have a bond with her family,and the career is where the income would come in,to pay the bills and put a meal on the table.way back in the centuries woman use woman use to be nothing much than house wives/stayed home moms taking care of the kids and husband as well as the home but nowadays women got smart and intelligent and start taking part in the career world to become independent to provide basic needs for themselves.
• United States
27 Dec 09
Women need to find a balance between both. And family is always going to be 1st because thats the main point of even having a career, so you can take care of your family. But yeah, we need to find a balance between both. Find a career to where you are gone from 9 to 5, so that way you can get the kids on the bus, and still be home for dinner. And fathers need to help out too. Like I said, as long as you are gone in the morning and home at night, I think that would be a healthy job to maintain for your family
@ramos7881 (345)
• United States
26 Dec 09
In my life, I have had the opportunity to do both - I was a stay at home mom for 9 years, and then when my husband was injured I went to school and began the path to my career. It was OK being a career woman and mom because my husband was at home to take care of the kids and do the basic chores (plus, he is one heck of a cook). But the time has come for him to go back to work (which he did about 6 weeks ago) and I have found that I am not a successful mother and career woman. I have been having values conflict - especially since one of my son's has quite extensive medical needs. It is very hard. But since I have a career, and make a significant amount of money compared to my husband it has been decided that I will continue to work. Now I just have to figure out how to balance the two. My career is not just go to work for 8 hours a day and be done - it requires a lot of study and reflection after the job is done and that is not easy to do AND give my kids/house the attention they need and desire. Oh well, I am at the point where my family "sinks or swims". It is up to my husband and I to turn this situation into something that can make our family stronger, or we can let it run us into the ground and hurt our family life. I just have to figure out how to make it work.
• Indonesia
26 Dec 09
I'll choose both choices. Being a great housewife/mom n being a career woman. Both of them are my ultimate dream in my entire life. Nevertheless, my family is the first priority instead of career. I wanna have my own family n start up my own business. I wanna be a good wife for my hubby, the greatest mom for my kids, n be a successful entrepreneur. I think u can do both in the meantime. u can be successful on ur career if ur family, especially ur hubby, will support n encourage ur career. I think the best support is from someone u love. If i were u, i'd prefer having family first. The reasons are: 1. u can find happiness from ur hubby(family). 2. He will supports u to reach ur dream n will help u. 3. u have companion whom u can share everything (ur joy n sorrow). 4. having a look to other career women who enjoy their careers before marriage, they tend to ignore about marriage so that most of them marry in old age, even they are spinster.