Any ideas on how to get happy when I'm sad?
@schwing_girl89 (278)
United States
December 27, 2009 4:15pm CST
I haven't written on this site for a long while. Lost track of my extra time at first with school. But, now that I'm most certainly withdrawn for good (due to carpal problems) I have more time until I can find a suitable job. My fiancee just went to work. No one likes to leave their loved one behind to go to a not so high paying job, that is understood. But, still, when he gets unhappy and angry then leaves to work I feel sadness sweep over me. Especially when he can't summon up enough enthusiasm for a real kiss. A small peck is better than none of course, but it's the principal of the matter. I feel I get sad to easily, and it only exacerbates the matter. I only really let my emotions out after he left awhile ago. But, I would greatly appreciate some tips on how I could make myself happy being alone. I fear I have lost my independence. I used to be perfectly content alone, but that was before i met my future husband. He is the same too, but I am much worse. He has real friends, which have become mine as well. But, i can't really go spend time with them at the moment since they're most likely asleep to rest up for their overnight jobs. The apartment is a mess so I no doubt must clean so the filth won't further exacerbate his mood when he comes home, but does anyone have any ideas what I can do to lighten my mood. One of my problems is that I can't focus on anything but the cause of my sadness. He is having such a bad day and hardly got to spend anytime with me before work that I can't help but empathize. I won't see him and might not hear from him until 1am. Ideas from your own experience are welcome too. Thanks.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@mammy71 (69)
• United States
28 Dec 09
well what I can suggest is try to take one day at a time each day do some thing you like to do whether it is to take a walk , paint your nails, what ever you like to do .... when I am down in the dumps I try to do some thing even if is it on the computer....i do crochet work or knitting crafts, read a book
be around people you like , not moody ones , you want happy faces....
and as for cleaning the house dont try to do the whole house or apt at one time take a small area at a time do that then do another area at another time... before you go to bed pick up items off the floor ...hope this helps. pat yourself on the back and put a smile on your face that is the best thing i can suggest.
1 person likes this
@schwing_girl89 (278)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Hello, and thank you! Those are all really helpful suggestions. I'm not that great at crocheting as I only know how to make chains, but I have been wanting to get better at it. In fact, I almost completely forgot I had the tools for it. I do try to pace myself at cleaning so I don't overwork myself or complete everything too fast as well. Thanks again!
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
28 Dec 09
I am glad that you feel a bit happier now that your apartment is clean and tidy. I suggest you arrange some things to look forward to like a day out to somewhere lovely. You might like to get a new hobby. It doesn't cost much money at all or costs little money to swim in a pool, walk around a park or visit the beach. The situation with your husband to be might improve if you spend more time together.
Good luck. 
1 person likes this
@schwing_girl89 (278)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Thank you for your response. Yes time together always makes things better between us. Hobbies are things to look forward to as well. I like making a little extra money on the computer and receiving helpful advice on here as well. Thanks again!
@salam1 (1474)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 10
one of thing that you can do is to ask yourself 5 things that you should grateful for. this is what i did to myself. today i feel quite low - so i ask myself what are the 5 things. my answer is - i have a job but others are still looking for one, i have house but some people live under the bridge, i am healthy but some people are in hospital, my wife is hardworking while others have a lazy wife, and i have a happy son while some people have son with serious health problem.
other than that you can take a walk, you know even light exercise would induce happy hormone in your brain.
or you look at your parent's photo. feel that your mum's blood is in your vein and your father work really hard to feed you (something like that). sometimes sadness will melt by this way.
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
28 Dec 09
I think that maybe you might want to talk to someone like a marriage counsillor. I think that maybe you might be depressed, it kind of sounds like you're having a bad time and I think you should see a doctor as soon as possible.
@schwing_girl89 (278)
• United States
28 Dec 09
Thank you for your response. Although, I mus respectfully disagree. I mean having taken and introductory course to psychology I am sure I don't have any symptoms of depression. We're not married yet also, so I don't think there's a reason to spend money we don't have on something we can fix ourselves. The problem is the stress that accumulates from his work can sometimes spill over on to me. But, I do everything I can to relieve his stress just as he does for me. everyone argues, so I can honestly justify that as normal. Everyone gets sad, so I know there is nothing wrong with me other than that I love him too much. But not too much to become irrational of what my own thoughts are and should be. I appreciate your advice though. And, if I ever see that I do have symptoms of depression, I surely will do as you have suggested. Thank you
