I am a sister and i need help with my brother

United States
December 28, 2009 4:48am CST
i need advice on what to do with my brother. he is not my real brother but ever since he was born he has called me sister. he lives with my god mother who i have known since i was born. my god mother is practically dying and my brother has never been rasied right by her in the first place. when she dies my brother will be givin to his aunt which is my god mothers sister. i do not want this to happen. my brother doent have a place to sleep at her house and is compleatly dirty. when my god mother dies i want to fight for custody of my brother but i dont want to cause an arguement between his aunt and me. i just want the best for my brother. i know i can give him a better life then her and im not sure if i should fight for him or not. he is only 11. what should i do?
1 person likes this
10 responses
• United States
28 Dec 09
Speak to you god mother now. She needs to know your interest in raising this young man. If she agrees that you would be a better fit to raise the boy then she can have a letter certified stating that custody of the boy goes to you upon her passing. The other part of this is even if you do not get custody immediately you need to keep in close contact with the boy. When he gets a little older he may choose to come live with you.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
29 Dec 09
Nice idea!The girl should immediately talk to her god mother about this and make sure that she make arrangements for the boy to come under her custody.The god mother will surely accept this as she know well about the love and care she takes for the boy.So,she has to hurry up without any further delay.
@warvial (1154)
• Singapore
28 Dec 09
If you think that he would be better off with you, then it would be better if you can stand on your ground because it is his life (and future) that is in the question. Does your aunt desperately wants your brother to be with her? You mentioned that she can't give him even a bedroom, thus, I assumed that she is being pushed the responsibility of taking care of him. Thus, would it be possible if you have a talk with her about wanting to gain the custody of your brother. If things turn ugly, then I think engaging a lawyer to fight for his custody is unavoidable. If you put your brother future and your relationship with your aunt on the balancing scale, which one does it matter most to you?
1 person likes this
@robertx (150)
• Romania
29 Dec 09
Leaving aside what your god mother and your brother want, and you should ask them both how they feel about it... I see you are only 19 years old, and I am frankly worried that your bro might get less guidence and support from you, because lets face it you have your life to live too, and he might become a handfull soon. If you think you got covered the basics of taking care of him, in terms of time, cooking, clothing, helping with his lessons and everything else you are aware he may need or require, then all will probably be fine, especially if you are used to take care of him. But if not I'd give this a second thought. And a few more thought after this. Cuz you could be ruining both yer lifes. Caring about him is one thing, but raising him is another. You also need to state your thoughts and your position about this issue, to both your god mother and his aunt. You may find a friendly way to solve all this. He may still visit and stay with you, even if you don't get custody, if everyone agrees. And of course, if you are not used to take care of him, you should be able to try before yer god mother is gone, and see for yourself how that works for both of you. Hope you'll make the right decision for everyone. Best of luck eitherway!
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
do want you think is right. if you think you can do something good for your brother then do it..
@robertx (150)
• Romania
29 Dec 09
Hey there rlcauilan, and welcome to mylot, I think you should have posted this as reply to the main discussion, not as reply to my comment. But hence you posted here and I got notified, and came to check, let me ask you something. Sure if you can do something good for your brother, you should do it regardless if its a good brother or a stepbrother. But don't you think adopting an 11 year old while you are 19 could be a bad thing for both? What guidence can you give him, and what life experience? Also can she enforce even the simple tasks, such as wash your hands, and enough tv, if and when required? Well, perhaps you just said she should do what she can without adopting him and I missunderstood your message. That's why I'm asking.
• Canada
2 Jan 10
If you want to do what is best for him, and you have already talked to your aunt and she won't agree with you having custody then fight. You don't have the luxury of worrying about your aunt's hurt feelings if it means your brother will have better care with you. What country are you in? Certain places have laws to help you depending on how old you are. Maybe I can help you get some information. I'm in Canada and I know a child who was in the foster care system from a family I was friends with.
• Malaysia
29 Dec 09
I agree with the rest of them. You have to let your god mother knows about this because she probably thinks that the best person to take care of your brother is her sister. However, if you let her know that you are capable of taking care of him, then perhaps she would let him stay with you without any argument involved. Is he close with your aunt? You have to discuss this matter with his aunt as well. If you have a stable job and good place to offer your brother, I think it will be an advantage for you to voice out your good intention. I wish you all the best!
• China
29 Dec 09
if you really have the abiltiy to raise him then i think you can do it.or you may send him to the socity beuaru or other family wish to adopt him in my opinion. that's not very hard to rasie him by yourself if you have enough money since you and he have nice relationship.good luck.
@bhawanee (174)
• India
29 Dec 09
You have stated that he is just 11 years old and i think if you approach court of law then you may get justice. He has to come out whether he wants to stay with your god mother or with you. But as a mylot friend i always pray to god that your wish may be fulfilled and you will get your brother as a reward.
@jugsjugs (13047)
29 Dec 09
If you think that he would be better off with you,then you need to seek legal advice as well as show them that you can support a boy of 11 years old as well as the boy may also get a choice of who he wants to live with.You have to provide proof that you can financially support him as well as that you have a room for him and show them all the reasons to why you should have this boy rather than the other person.Good luck.
@Hatley (130195)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Dec 09
hi izzy if you can give him a better life than his aunt, go ahead and fight for it. the poor boy is only 11 and he needs you on his side.Do you have a home to bring him to and a good job so you can feed and clothe him and look after him? Go to the courts and fight tooth and nail for him then. he deserves someone who cares for him to be on his side.How old are you? this will play heavily in your favor if you are old enough to be his guardian. I hope you can get his care, I really do. good luck and God bless.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
You better talk to your God mother now before its too late, your intention is really good, so speak it up friend. all you want is a good shelter for your brother and for him to have a better future, Do not argue, as much as possible avoid arguments because things will be more complicated.just talk to them while your God mother still alive, everything will be ok, do not worry too much. Happy new year.