Have you ever quarrelled with your parents

@kathy714 (129)
China
December 28, 2009 6:54pm CST
Maybe I use the wrong word. Is 'argue' more suitable here? I love my parents. I did things well as they hoped when I was young. I was a good daughter at that time. But after I grow up, I formed my own thoughts. I started my own career as I like. My own way of life is different from the traditional life as they have. There are many cases that we have different opinion on things and we argue with each other. But the argument always hurts me. I feel guilty to make them sad. I don't know what to do. What about you? Have you ever argued with your parents? What is your feeling? Do you have good advice to keep good relationship with them?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@StevenZhu (198)
• China
29 Dec 09
It's hard to say, one aspect quarrel with parents would hurt parents and myself, another aspect it indeed has generation gaps between parents and me. Hence I keep this attitude, keep our common points and keep our differences away, this may avoid arguing between parents and me and form a warm relationship between parents and me.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
29 Dec 09
It sounds great. I guess you have good relationship with your parents. Do you often talk with them, sharing your happiness and worries?
• China
30 Dec 09
Hi kathy714, I feel sorry because I always hurt my parents while quarreling before, although parents and I love each other. Now I don't quarrel with parents and try to say somethings common, yes, as you said, to share joy or good news with them, and phone them(my parents live in hometown and I live in coastal city because of work) regularly, and sent money or gifts on their birthdays. Love parents because they give me more.
• United States
29 Dec 09
I argure with my parents on a regular basis. I do not think that arguments are necessarily bad, just a form of communication. If there was negative physical contact, such as hitting, then that might be a less desirable result and you may want to shy away from an argument. Other than that, many people argue to get something resolved or to feel better about a subject. Both sides should remain calm and try not to yell at each other.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
30 Dec 09
Thank you for your response. We just argue with each other. It is not as serious as fighting. Hehehe. This is different from the situation in which my father beat me when I made mistakes at young age. Actually, that was not so painful. I just forget the pain in a while.
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
Yes I o but it doesnt mean I hate them or I dont love them anymore. There are just times which I feel I need to voice out my own opinion. There are times when I absolutely know I am right and that I need to make them believe or trust me. Yes they are older but that does not mean they know everything like what most people claim. Most of the time, parents can learn from their children too. I feel guilty when I choose to argue but I know for myself that I will be more guilty if I decide to let the moment pass without telling them what I feel or what I think should be. I think parenting is not just a one-way process in which the parents teach the children everything. There are also times when parents should sit down and listen to what their children have to say.
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
There's nothing wrong with exchanging thoughts. What's important is that the respect is still present nd in the end of the day, you still love each other. :D
@MAllen400 (831)
29 Dec 09
Every Mum knows that there will come a time usually mid teens onwards that her daughter will want to become more independant and will have views of their own. Of course this causes "tiffs". I have had it with my two daughters, not my son though as boys dont seem to go through it. In the end you just have to sit down and try and explain to your Mum or parents that you are a different generation and not just rebelling against them and say hey mum can we agree to differ over this! Said nicely enough it will ease the tiff that was coming. Dont feel guilty Kathy it is only growing up and becoming a woman in your own rights x
@kathy714 (129)
• China
30 Dec 09
Thank you. You are a good mother. After reading your words, I try to put me into my mother's postion. I believe she isn't happy to argue, either. She also hopes to communicate with me well. So I will control myself in the future when dispute arises.
• China
29 Dec 09
once i quarreled with my father and nearly broke the relations at that time,i think is is all due to that we donnt have good communication at the process of our growing,i thought he should understand me but infact he not.so i decided if i have a kid i will grow together with him,to think what he is thinking and understand what he is doing.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
29 Dec 09
I agree with you. The best way to have good relationship with your kid is to make yourself a kid too. Then it is easier to understand their thoughts.
@coolcat123 (4392)
• India
29 Dec 09
many a times, especially with my mom, but afterwards I feel very sorry, and think that how much she care for us and how we are treating her. Actually when she forces us something to do then we become very irritated with her.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
29 Dec 09
Yes. That is the hardest thing for us. We feel sorry because we love them and hope them happy, but we also hope to have our own life. Anyway, we must understand and respect their opinion. After all, they speak from their experience. They are right sometimes.
@rmuxagirl (7569)
• United States
6 Jan 10
There have been times when I fought with my parents. I think it is inevitablefor kids to fight with their parents in one way or another. The older I get though the less I fight with them and have more discussions with them and hear them out so they will hear me out. It works better that way.
@Porcospino (16435)
• Denmark
4 Jan 10
When I was a teenager I had many arguments with my parents. Most of those arguments started because I wanted to do things my own way instead of doing the things that my parents wanted me to, or because they wouldn't let me stay out as long as I wanted to etc. My mother was very overprotective, and I was often angry her when she wouldn't let me do the same things as my classmates. I know that she was just scared that something would happen to me, but I still found her rules annoying, and sometimes I said some bad things to her. I regret that now, but at that time it was hard for me to control my temper. I don't argue with my mother any longer, we disagree sometimes, we haven't had a real argument in years. My father and I also had a lot of argument when I was a child and a teenager. My father is very stubbern, and he has a temper, my personality is similar to my father's, and in the past we often disagreed and we had arguments about lots of different topics. Last time I had a big argument with my father was 4 years ago, and since that time we haven't any arguments.
• United States
30 Dec 09
Arguing and fighting with the parents can always be hard, but I think it changes alot as you get older. It has been a few years now that I have started to see my parents not as "parents" but as people. When we have discussions that are not agreeable all around, like my career, or my choices in life, it is different than it was when I was a child. I try harder to find their point of view. I also try harder to explain my views, rather than just fighting with them. In the end I know they love me and I understand that they have always wanted the best for me. On a side note, after just having my firsy baby, I am now terrified of the fights that are to come in the future for me and my daughter. I now know exactly how my parents felt about curfews and sneaking out of the house. Sometimes parents really do know whats best!
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
I once argue with my dad, because i did some decision with out informing him, but i informed my mother about it, all i thought that my mom did share it to him, but she wasn't because she knew very well that my father won't be happy to know such decision i made, he just knew when i come back home,.I upset him. it hurts me a lot to see his frustration.thanks to my mom she's always there to support me, she talk to my dad and make him understand and accept everything.