I Dont Get It...

@erikmama (12934)
United States
January 2, 2010 12:07am CST
Here's the situation. My friend's boyfriend is addicted to pain medication. The pills are shot up, something like heroin. She just had a baby and is unemployed right now. He's been on the mess for years. When he doenst shoot up he is inthe bed sick for more. Now the rent is behind. She's left before because of this. Of course he thinks it is no problem,hell get it caught up. Well, you canr when you stick $100 a day in your arm. Here's the real kicker...I asked why she didnt leave him or make him stop. She tells me she doesnt care if he does it, as long as he pays the bills first, which he obvius isnt doing. I dont get that. Im not saying leave a person in thier time of need that you care for. But with a newborn baby you say you dont care for him to do this? It doesnt make sense to me. I think she should get rid of him or get him helo, because it is apparant he has a problem. Plus what type of relationship is this? What do you think?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@tayd88 (205)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 10
hi erikmama, After reading your friend's situation,i feel sad for the newborn child.This kind of situation happens all the time wherever it may be.It maybe someone we knows or worse our own families members. In my opinion,i guess your friend must make a firm stand either to leave him or make him change.Addition on bad habits are enough to kill oneself if its out of control.Now,this is about 3 lives which are doom if the 2 grown ups don't make up their mind soon.If the adults don't eat well,that's ok but the baby needs to have proper care and food. This relationship are not good,its a burden to both sides.Someone must start making the changes now.Please advise your friend.May God bless them and the baby. bye
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
2 Jan 10
She is fully capable of caring for the baby,and does fine. I just dont understand why she says it is ok,aslong as the bills are paid. It is apparant he is a junkie and and has a problem.Ive seen him many,many times.Hes done crazy things for the pills.It doesnt make sense to me!!
@tayd88 (205)
• Malaysia
3 Jan 10
yes erikmama, it doesn't make any sense to me oso.Money isn't everything and yet your friend seems not independent.I just hope she can think positively on their future.If you had already give advise and help & they don't seem to heed your advise,well what more can we do as a friend.Sometimes,people need to have initiative to help themselves.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
3 Jan 10
I told her she needed to get away from him once she is back to working(the baby just turned 2 mths and she wqas released from the dr),and this is when she informed me as long as bills are paid she didnt care if he did it.Im like wow. She is independant,but just had the baby.I know she will take good care of the baby,I just dont understand why you want your daughter to see this!! And why you wouldnt want him to stop.
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
2 Jan 10
Sounds like she does not care much for him. It is better for her and the baby to just leave and make their own way. It would be good of her to try to get him to go in to re-hab, but you can't make somebody stop somethin they are addicted to, and if she does not care for him she should just leave. The baby does not need to be brought up by an addict who shoots up every day, that is not a good example or situation for the baby. I would wonder why someone would bring a child in to this world with someone like that.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
2 Jan 10
Ya know,that is my whole thing. She doesnt care for him to do them!! She doensnt seem to think he needs help,and he is strung out bad. It is not good for that poor little baby to grow up seeing this.Why when youre not strung out too would you want your child to grow up like this
• United States
2 Jan 10
For her sake and the baby's sake she needs to get out of this relationship. It sounds like to me that she has fallen out of love with him, but unfortunately she still has a connection to him because of the baby. She needs to think about the bany and what is best for the baby. The baby deserves to have a great environment to grow up in. Does your friend have any family or friends she can live with so she can get help? I am afraid that there is a possibility that Child Protective Services may get a hold of this information and take the baby away. He does need to get help and quickly. Not only is he hurting himself, but he is also depriving the baby the opportunity of having a father.
1 person likes this
@lyzabelle (1669)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
Oh my goodness...from financial crisis to family problems and many more to add. Are we reduce to this...what I'm talking about is that things were already worst and some people don't even help themselves. The baby should never born to this kind of father who is not thinking of the welfare of his unborn son. He should change for the better.
@lilyrayne (107)
• United States
3 Jan 10
This friend of your ( the poor girl ) has become acustomed to this lifestyle, she i bet, loves her bf in a twisted way or maybe the thought of being a single mom terrifies her. Now obviousy she needs to walk away...take her child away from possibly losing him. Then if she wants to make it work with her bf she needs to tell him to stop go to rehab, and if he does it will work if he doesnt, than he simply cares nothing for her or his child all he will see is addiction!