Now I know why some men leave their wives or partners (and vice versa)
By anaaibachan
@lizbenetua (637)
Philippines
January 3, 2010 11:09pm CST
A friend tells me of an experience. She was at home at that time. Her friend's dad arrived at lunch time to eat. Sooner, the mom went down as well. The mom cut up two pieces of bread that was given as gift to them and she ate them. Then the dad came up to the mom and asked for some of the bread. Mr friend was irritated when the mom was so selfish because she told the dad that "She is hungry that is why she cut up the bread herself." By the time the mom decided to share one of her bread, my friend saw her dad's face change to being bummed when the mom did not want to share. The mom insists to the dad that she now get the bread she cut because she will cut up another one, when initially she does not want to. The dad got the bread but he did not eat it. My friend thinks that he might just throw it away as revenge to her. Women complain that their husbands or partners don't love them but they drive them away by being grumpy.
Being hungry is not an excuse to be grumpy. The friend got angry at the mom and tells her that "I think dad was bummed out because you did not want to share the bread." Then the mom rants out and raves that it was the her husband who was selfish because he was not thinking how hungry she was, and that he was being childish and all. The mom tells the daughter not to give her a lecture when she is hungry.
If we think grumpy men are turn offs, so are grumpy hungry women who make excuses for themselves and are selfish. I know understand why some men leave their spouses or their partners.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@sailajasayani (64)
• India
4 Jan 10
Hi,
I guess the couple must be having problems prior to this.This case must have aroused it again.And they shouldnt have fought over food.Its very rare that couples fight over foods.Maybe they have other issues and this must have been a case where they vould vent out their angers.
@yezhanjun043 (100)
• China
4 Jan 10
I do not agree with you that,because men have been very infatuation,but because you are woman engaged in an affair or affair,can we be sad men
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Thanks for your comment. As I said in my post, "now I know" but it does not generalize why either men or women leave their partners. There are still other reasons why someone may leave their partners, and that I don't know. But in this case, I was basing my comment on my friend's situation. Either way, if either the guy or the girl starts to act all selfish, it is one way for the relationship to be doomed.
@milkfish (371)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
I think the couple are experiencing some problems in their relationship prior to that bread incident. It would be best that they talked about and address the real cause/problems together. If left "untreated", even petty things could be use as an excuse to vent out pent up negative emotions.
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Thank you for your comment. I like what you said that something happened beyond the bread incident. Somewhat like a domino effect. Thanks for the enlightenment.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
i am amazed on how you could have known the reasons why couples separate and part ways. i am not sure, but what i know is that there can be tens of reasons why couples break up. and some of these reasons are beyond understanding of the partners involved. how much more for the strangers like us? i respect the decisions of couples to part ways. but i advocate to keep their relationships going and their communication open so that harmony and understanding will come and strengthen the relationships.
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Thanks for your feedback. I said in my post " now I know" because before I don't know before. I just made my comment based on what I have realized from all the selfishness that was witnessed. Parents should respect each other no matter what, even when sharing food. I am sorry but it really pisses me to see selfish parents.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
there are a lot of reason why a person leaves their partner no matter how many years they were together. some reason are just as petty like the story you told but some are major quarrels. i am married for 7 years already, and there are truly ups and down and what matters is how you get in and out of this ups and downs. small or petty things this can easily be resolve you just have to learn to love even the persons imperfection
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
You are right to say this. It is true that no one is perfect in relationships. There will be a lot of differences. But in this case I posted, the issue of selfishness has been going for a long time with my friend's folks. It really sucks but she cannot do anything about it. She cannot even change her mother who has been born with it due to her issues. The mother needs to see a shrink.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
4 Jan 10
It is sad to hear and see relationships like this going down the drain. We should always share everything with your partners, whether it is a piece of bread or a hamburger. He should pack himself some lunch, that ought to keep the peace and she can be left with her own piece of bread. She shold really wake up and smell the coffee as men like that only takes things like those up to a point.
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Thanks for your comment. I hate it when parents have their issues. Parents should be good examples to their children. You are right to say that she should wake up and REALLY smell the coffee.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
4 Jan 10
Are you kidding me? what a silly action. I never believe in this but this is something new to me. well, sometimes they might have other issue that can't share with you and when it comes to something that he can't handle anymore than he blew it off. Can't believe but I believe your story. I will praying for him to understand more in family situation
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Jan 10
Hi Lizbenetua,
I have to agree that this seems like the mom is being very selfish and inconsiderate. The dad is also perfectly capable of cutting his own bread. These kind of childish spats happen in marriages. They are not good cause for divorce but if they happen often enough they can sadly drive two people apart. It might be just a bad day or there may be a lot of little things built up that cause them to treat each other so disrespectfully. If I were you and your friend, I would just stay clear of getting involved in their marriage. It's between the two of them. My parents often would argue about what appeared to be the silliest things. I learned that it was not to my benefit or anyone's to take sides or get involved. I usually secretly sided with my dad but if my mom ever found out, I'd be on the outs with her long after her and dad kissed and made up.
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
4 Jan 10
I don't think that is the reason why people break up. Mostly people break up over money. So maybe she is mad that there isn't enough money and she has gone hungry. Or maybe he is too lazy to cut his own bread if they have enough money for more bread. Him not doing it himself would look lazy and maybe that is why he is not providing enough money to the family. I don't know enough of this family to guess why they are having problems but I would gather she was upset about something else and used hungry as an excuse. People sometimes fight over silly things to cover up the real issues. There are many many reasons to be unhappy in a relationship.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 10
Some people may see the incidence as petty or trivial but a tiny grain of dirt can become a problem if more dirt gathers at the same point. One scratch usually does not cause a wound to appear but the skin can be broken with continuous scratching.
In any relationship no issue is too small to be dismissed with the wave of a hand. Once hurt the pain will become greater with the same touch. Your story illustrates the point of how a relationship can go sour. I believe there are other things which hurt the man even more. Presumably he was already hurt, and being hurt again worsened the situation even more. There is a high probability that the time will come when almost everything will become an issue.
In a true relationship there is a sharing of almost everything. The wife said the husband was selfish. Was she the only one who was hungry? The husband may not look somewhere else for something that he was missing, but I will not be surprised if they eventually go their own separate ways. At the very least their relationship becomes cold.
@hapsicordable1 (475)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
I'm sorry to tell you this liz but your post seems too long and I can't even understand it.
@anyabee (363)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
i agree with this one. any relationship should always be give-and-take. we all need to learn to be thoughtful of our partners so we can have a good relationship with them. we can't just expect them to always think of us when we don't think of them at all.
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Thanks for your feedback. It really sucks when parents act selfish around their children. They are not good examples.
@denagary (88)
• United States
4 Jan 10
It sounds like there is alot more to this story than just bread. I mean this is a family right? Are they in such poverty that they are actually fighting over bread to eat? I think then being in poverty is the stress that is causing the couple to split up. But there are so many more reasons possible. This is sad.
@kezabelle (2974)
•
4 Jan 10
I really think if they feel the need to argue over something as simple as cutting bread then they have serious problems that are much deeper seated than it sounds!!!
Also come on why couldnt he cut his own bread, my partner would never insist on taking my food he is totally capable of making his own if he happens to come in later than I did to make lunch dinner what ever.
And to be so petty as to throw it away as revenge well thats just spiteful behaviour to be honest and it would not be tolerated in this house either by myself or my partner you just cant treat people that way!
Everyone gets grumpy and I think if someone can leave their spouse because they were having a bad day or feeling a bit grumpy then they really cant love them very much, I forgive grumpy behaviour from my partner because I love him and understand that sometimes he could just be feeling grumpy and need to let off steam we ALL have days like those surely?? I love my partner and find a arguement because we are both (or just one of us) is a bit grumpy is soon forgotten and forgiven I would never leave him because of it and he wouldnt leave me either everyone has the right to express their emotions without fear their partner will leave them surely??
