What is wrong about being nice??

Canada
January 5, 2010 5:14pm CST
I am generally a nice person without ill will to others, I do not wish bad onto anyone. After being taken advantage of many times and victimized still somehow I can not seem to help myself, my nature is just,if you have nothing nice to say about a person do not say anything at all. Every time I am hurt by someone I get the advice you should have known people are no good, yet I refuse to believe this even if it makes me a fool or a push over sucker etc. Guess you have to take the chance and hope the person you are opening up to is not out to hut you, within reason of course. So here here to being nice and maybe one day making the world a nice place:)
4 people like this
21 responses
@MrKennedy (1994)
6 Jan 10
There is nothing wrong about being nice, and anybody who would say otherwise needs their head examined. The only problem I can see with being nice is that the a-holes of this world will try and take advantage of your nice nature
2 people like this
@weirdo55 (77)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
I salute you! ^_^ We need more people like you in the world :) I think I can also say that I'm a nice person. I really do not like to think of evil thoughts about somebody. I do not like to gossip and if someone tells me something bad about a person, unconsciously I just brush it off. Because I believe there's something good in everybody and I think that that's more important to look at than to keep looking at one's flaws. No body is perfect so why should we judge others? I know I have my own flaws that's why I don't take other people's imperfections against them :) Stay nice emkomar69! ^__^
• United States
6 Jan 10
It's really sad when people get taken advantage of. I've been guilty of it before. :( But be happy to know that you really are making the world a better place, and plenty of people won't take advantage of you, but rather, they will be kind as well to you (and other) because of the kindness you have shown them. Good for you for not letting your bad experiences run you over to team selfishness. :)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
Though I also believe that deep down, people are naturally good, every person is a shade of gray depending on the situation. If you think about it, even "nice" is relative, it may even have no meaning whatsoever given the context. What I'm saying is, it's good that you're nice, but you have to be mindful that being nice might not be the best way to go for every situation.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Jan 10
Thanks for responding to this discussion for me it is an issue I deal with very often, I am very happy to have read all of your responses and feel that a lot of good points were made weighing out the pros and cons. I will remember the advice here about being mindful true enough there are many situations that being nice is not the way to go. I am just a bit tired of feeling like it is a weakness instead of a strength, it is harder to be nice easy to be nasty at least for most I guess. Thanks for your thoughts on this :)
1 person likes this
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
6 Jan 10
being nice is not a weakness. Truly weak people accuse others of being what they themselves are. It takes real strength and courage to forgive, to love, to have respect for people. It takes patience, and wisdom to be able to be kind even when others don't have good intentions. But being "nice" is a conditional personality construct that society uses to control and define feminity, which is why so many females have this problem and why sensitive men are labeled 'sissy'. True feminity is like the sea. The sea can be calming and peacful like those photos of tropical resort beaches. And the sea can be dangerous, deadly, turbulent, and fierce. There is a time and place for both. When you are being abused for your good nature, sometimes you have to show some teeth to get people to acknowledge your boundaries.
1 person likes this
@vivianchen (2648)
• China
6 Jan 10
Hi Emkomar69, There is no wrong to be nice to people. Trust me, God will bless those nice people, and being a nice person, you will gain more that you offer, and your heart and your soul will be pease than any one else.
• Canada
6 Jan 10
Very Refreshing responses here only one feels that people are not filled with goodness, so I thrilled i posted this topic and found myself relived to find out there are many other people dealing with this question. Nice to know that the points being made about self preservation are valid, as well as having hope for mankind. Thanks everyone that responded very heartwarming:)
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Jan 10
It's good to be nice, but you really have to be carefuly who you open up to! It is extremely unwise to open up to the wrong person. you don't know what someone will do with your information. Building relationships is supposed to be a process, not an event. When you meet a new person, you open up a little bit-share something that isn't so significant and cant come back to bite you. little by little, you either learn to trust the person, or learn that you cant trust the person. So be kind to everyone, but dont bare your soul to everyone.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 10
There are too many people looking to take advantage of nice guys, that this world will never be a nice place. I have come across SOOO many people that think when you are being nice to them, that you are soft, or are a push over and easy to use to get what they want. I have found in todays world, being nice just doesnt work anymore. You have to wear a hard shell and let people think you are tough, until you get to know them, then let your true self show or will get taken advantage of every time.
1 person likes this
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
There is nothing wrong being nice. it is a good attitude can be seen from a person character. Though sometimes, other people tend to go over with their impressions rather than what the true color the person got. They have different interpretations. But given such conditions, where they are able to see the true person far from what they noted. They will realize they are mistaken.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
6 Jan 10
Hi emkomar, You are right in not listening to the pessimists regarding the good in people. I, too, have been a sucker and victimized by people I've tried to help. It teaches me something about the person and I make sure not to put myself in such a spot with that particular person again. It does not say anything about the human race as a whole. More times than not the help I give someone whether it be a stranger or a close friend, not only is greatly appreciated but it also makes me feel better inside. On the flip side, I can not tell you how very many times that I've found myself in a situation and people that I don't even know all that well have come running to help out. It is amazing. So continue to be the kind person that you are and you will be doing your part in making at least one little corner of the world a brighter place for yourself and for others. Don't let a few jerks turn you bitter. Can you imagine a world where everyone was afraid to be kind or helpful? I can and it would not be pretty.
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
It is not wrong about that if you do nice the Jehovah GOD happy about your doing and that attitude is a king of meek ones that the reason he advice to became good because in the time of his judgment only meek ones have everlasting life.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
6 Jan 10
emkomar69, As the saying goes: "It takes all kinds (of people) to make the world", I just feel that there is nothing wrong being nice and trying to make this place a nicer place. However, it will be wrong if we do not wise up, be discreet and still remain gullible. I think you need to remember that people get taken advantage of and cheated has all to do with oneself. So, we need to be prudent with our answers and not risk ourselves into some situations where it will not only hurt ourselves but those around us as well. Also, we need to remember to be selfish sometimes where we need to take care of ourselves (including those close to us) first before others. We just should not overly kind and forget if the other party really need our help in the first place. Just be careful and remember to take care of yourself before others always. Have a nice day.
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
6 Jan 10
i understand how you feel. I learned that there is such a thing as too nice. Sometimes standing up for ourselves means nipping problems in the bud before they get to a point where things are out of control. You can still be a nice person and maintain your moral principles and lay down the law. Just because youa re nice deosn't mean you can't have boundaries and let other people know what you about. I got to a point where I was up to my eyebrows in b.s. and I just won't take any more. People liking you because you are nice is not as important as liking yourself because you stand up for what you believe. It is not as important to have people think you are always sweet as it is to have people see that you will not be disrespected.
• United States
6 Jan 10
I totally agree with you and I am that way too! Yes sometimes being nice can mean that you get your feeling hurt now and then but in the end, the way I see it is, I really like the person I see in the mirror and that is important to me. I have friends that say the same things your friends did, like I should have known but I do not think that is true. I like the idea of giving everyone a chance to be nice and see what happens. Sometimes, you have to realize that people do not always treat you the same back but that is okay...what goes around, comes around as they say! Hang in there and know in your heart that being a nice person is a very good thing!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
6 Jan 10
I used to be nice early in my career. But after being passed over for promotion, you learn to play the rules of the game. I still think I am nice outside work. But I've learned to say no, and not to commit. Last year I belonged to a community group. Because everybody thought I was nice, I ended up doing most of the work for the group. This year, I did not commit to anything. I still work hard for the community group, and volunteer if needed. But now, nobody takes advantage of me. There is nothing wrong with being nice. And I wish everybody would be nice. The world sure could use everybody being nice and helping out.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
the thing wrong from being nice is when people abuse you because you are nice. when they know that you will always say yes on whatever they want you to do for them is whats bad. my wife is a nice person too but sometimes her being nice is plain $tupid for me. for i see people abusing her because she cant say no when they want something or if they ask something. if you are nice make sure you are nice to nice people like you. people can be abusing your being nice to them. be nice to people who knows how to say thank you and give niceness to you in return
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
5 Jan 10
I think I am the same way as you. I alway want to help people and end up feeling used. I give people chance after chance, no matter if I am hurting, And I alkways seem to put th e needs of others above mine. I dont think it is a bad thing. There are not enough good people in this world. We do have to put a point to not be to nice and let people take advantage of us,even though it seems to hapeen again and again. I am like you it is just in my nature to be nice. I dont like to fight and argue. Keep being you and being nice but try not to let people hurt you in the process.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
5 Jan 10
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice, nothing at all. I try to be nice but sometimes it is difficult, especially when people aren't being nice to me, you know what I mean? My Mum is probably the nicest person on the planet but she is taken advantage of at work because she admits she isn't "assertive enough." I would much rather her workmates would treat her better rather than Mum having to be more assertive, because that's not her. The day after her workmates are bad they treat her better; it's like they are saying "sorry" but why they can't say "sorry" at the time they are being bad I don't know. Carry on being nice, the alternative does not win you many friends.
@bryce22 (69)
• Poland
15 Jan 10
Being nice means you should be wise why?.Because a nice person always attracts people.Keep in mind that those people have different intentions.So be wise if your nice because some people may abuse your being nice.
• Canada
15 Jan 10
True enough, thanks for the advice it just makes me feel sad to think that the world is not made up of more people wanting to help others for the sake of being kind. I know sounds silly but I have always wanted to see people helping each other, but it is what it is. So make the best of it be nice to your to the ones you love, makes you feel good.
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
Sometimes, being nice serves as a double edge sword. It can hurt you eventually. People might take advantage of your being nice. Well, being nice is a good thing but being passive and overly nice cannot help you in any way. Nice guys finish last but it doesn't mean that you are not supposed to be nice. You must be friendly, nice at the same time assertive and frank.
@olisaur (1932)
• United States
6 Jan 10
I have always been a nice and considerate person, too- I got Honor Roll in school and helped out others when they needed it. But I was often taken advantage of, or tried to be taken advantage of, because of it. ww