January 5, 2010 7:17pm CST
My boyfriend has four sons 3 of whom seem to be doing well, one however, unfortunately is in jail, although he doesn't have much of a relationship with any of his kids, he hasn't communicated with the one in jail for quite sometime. I would be extremely worried if it were my child. I know he is disappointed by how he has turned out and angry because he tried in his own way to help him, but I wonder if there is anything I could do to encourage this relationship. He tends to not like alot of interference from me, about most things.
1 person likes this
6 Jan 10
..hi snowy.. maybe your boyfriend hasn't move on yet.. he is still carrying grudge in his heart for his son in jail.. I think your advice to him won't be useful as of this days.. what you can do is to just listen to him when he tells you his problems and anxieties.. if he don't say anything, then you better not interfere.. however, maybe, you can find some parents whose sons are in jail too but they still visit them and introduce them to your boyfriend.. don't tell your husband immediately that they have sons in jail.. just let them be friends.. I believe that there will come a time when they will tell their story about their sons in jail and why they still visit them.. If this doesn't work, and you are really willing to help fix their relationship, you can also talk to his child who is in jail to send an apology letter to his dad.. but tell his son not to tell his father what you did.. you visit him in jail and introduce yourself, befriend him first before making your move.. with your boyfriend, someday, he will overcome that and realize that he needs to forgive his son and move on because he have you as the reason to be happy and continue living.. just be on his side..
• United States
6 Jan 10
Most of your advice is good, rayne, but he doesn't really talk to me about his feelings or problems much at all unfortunately, and not about his son. I just wish he would give his son some support is all. I guess I will just look for any opportunities to discuss some of these situations and his feelings about them.
• United States
9 Jan 10
I know all about having loved ones in jail. All you can do is ask him if he wants you to go visit his son with him. As him if you can help him drive if it is far out. Sometimes they are mad at the child for doing the wrong things. My mother has a son in for murder and one for attempted murder. She is not mad at them but one she has not seen in years. The jail is just that far out.