Living by your own or living with parents?

China
January 6, 2010 12:44am CST
Hello Mylottors, I have a question, if you ever get married, will you stay with his parents after married or will you preferred to live by your own. I know both of them have it's advantage and disadvantage. Living with their parents, they can cook the food, dinner and breadfast, when you have a kid, they can take care of the kid for you. But you don't have much privacy of your two. Living by your own, you can enjoy the two-people world, but you need to cook the dinner and perpare the breadfast yourself, has to hire someone to take care of the kid when you have. So, how will you choose?
3 people like this
21 responses
• India
6 Jan 10
It is true that people in this world of today want to live alone after marriage. They want no one to inter fear in their life . for me best thing is to live with my parents along side after marriage. for they are much importance to us , taking same situation may come with us when we become old. We also came after our father and mothers marriage they kept their child who we are . They don't except us to move away from them.Parents not only can help us in things or ways u have said so but also provide us with moral values from one generation to other.
• China
7 Jan 10
That's very impressive of what you said.
• India
27 Jan 10
Thanks for your gesture lets do any other conversation on any other topic of your choice of so.
@weirdo55 (77)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
Hi there! for me, I'd have to say it would be better to live on your own as a couple. Although living with your in-laws has its benefits, I just think it would be better for the marriage if you'd learn how to live on your own and not depend on others. :) Because for me, getting married means that you'll have to take on the responsibility of having to raise up an family of your own. And if you and your husband would be living as partners hand-in-hand in making decisions and trying your best to support and raise the family, this would be good for your marriage. It would show how willing you are to support and help each other out through good and bad times :) If you ask me, living with the in-laws is not quite a good idea because conflicts are very hard to avoid in these situations. Because there's a huge tendency for them to actually dictate on how you should carry your relationship and how you should raise your family. :) this is all just my opinion on the matter, but your decision is still all up to you :) God bless on your decision-making and your family! ^_^
• China
6 Jan 10
Dear Weirdo55, Thank you very much for sharing this with me. i am 100% agree with you. But the reality is that we can't afford to buy our own house for now, so we have to live with the in laws for now.
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
Oh I totally understand that. :) But I'm sure you'll be able to get a house someday and turn it into a home for your family :) God bless with that! ^_^
• India
7 Jan 10
Hi, I am so sorry to say this. But what an unfortunate day it would be when we would think of our parents as a way to cook food, dinner and breakfast. I believe, no matter how old we are, how many wives we have (hee hee), we have a very fundamental responsibility to take care of our parents. There are a few debts a human being must consider. The most important of them is the one to his parents. We should try to love them, support and help them as long as they live. Take care God bless you
1 person likes this
• China
8 Jan 10
Thanks for sharing with us!
@Mebgem (131)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hi, when I get married I want to live by my own, but I would like a home still near my parents' house so if we need some help it is easier to reach my parents and vise versa..
• China
8 Jan 10
Thanks for sharing with us!
@Preciousgem (1190)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
If i ever get married, i use to have my own house, to live by my own with my hubby, so we are free what ever we want to do or go, to be a good wife and mother to our son and daughter, to experience living with our own, to have a worry free about what they say to us.
• China
8 Jan 10
Sounds good!Thanks for sharing with us!
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
7 Jan 10
I think it is best to live alone without parents in order to prevent a lot of unwanted confrontation
1 person likes this
• China
8 Jan 10
Thanks for sharing with us!
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
I'd prefer living by our own. I already have a kid and a partner in life and we are living by our own. We have our own place, a 3 month old baby, we are both working and our baby has one good and nice nanny. The nanny is already in her midfifties and does not have a family of her own. We were able to manage and we ejoy every moment of it. We still get to spend time with our baby. The good thing about it is that we have a privacy. No one will tell you this is what you should do and you should not do this or that. You will also be able to learn how to be independent. We still find time though to communicate withour families and visit them. For me it is better. You will be able to avoid confrontations or arguments caused by misunderstanding or pesonal differences. This is a common problem among in- laws.
• China
8 Jan 10
I envy you! And i have to say i agree with you!Thanks for sharing with us!
• United Kingdom
7 Jan 10
Hi Vivian,I don't even think on those lines,thanks to the cultural difference.For us Indians,we don't look at parents as someone who can cook food for us and take care of our children so that we don't have to hire a paid service.For us,it is our moral duty to take care of our parents when they grow old and are dependent on us for everything.We share a much stronger bond and it is definitely not a give and take relationship for us.It is more of love from their side and respect from our side.I might sound weird to you but then that's how it works in our country...:)
1 person likes this
• China
8 Jan 10
Hi Nitinshukla, I have some India friends! And i would love to visit India someday. In some point, i have to, India and China has a similar culture.Thanks for sharing with us!
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Nope, better live our married lives away from our parents. The advantages you have pointed out are really good ones, but when it comes to disadvantages, here is my points. Sometimes parents do affect our decisions of how to raise a family. Sometimes, parents tends to tell us what should be done to our kids and some big decisions. And I think one can never be independent to his/her own if you still live with you parents after marriage.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Jan 10
I agreed. Thanks for sharing with us!
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
7 Jan 10
hi vivianchen, Well, I got married and moved out from my parents as soon as I graduated from high school. I could not wait to be on my own. I did not care that I had to do my own cooking and that it might cost me more. I just wanted my independence and freedom whatever the cost. I notice that now a days more and more kids are just ok with staying on being dependent on the parents. I know financially it is really hard to be on your own by yourself but when you are married or living with a boyfriend then there are (or should be) two incomes. In those cases, I really don't understand the desire to stay at home rather than to get started on building their lives together as a couple. How do you feel about it? Are you married? If so are you living with your parents? If not, would you?
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
Hello there, Yes, i am married. Last month. hehe.. I am living with my in laws now. The reason we can't move out is because first of all, we don't have enough money to buy a new house now, secondly he is the only son in the family, in our culture, he needs take care of the family. 3rd, we are lazy.Thanks for sharing!
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
I always wish to live with my own, I live with my in laws now, although they are nice to me, but I need more privacy, I want to experience more things as a wife... like cook for my family, to be more independent,take care of them, do things together, have enough time just for us. Im sure every housewives is longing for this., But me and my husband are planing to build our own. wishing God will grant our heart desires...
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
I am sure you will have your own house very soon!Thanks for sharing!
@HansonFan (1659)
• United States
6 Jan 10
I am a 100% for living on my own - Im not married, heck Im not even dating, but I am getting out on my own once I finish college. I can't take a person seriously if they are living with their parents past about 25. To be a leech to your parents is not right unless there is a certain reason. My aunt and cousin live together but he just split up with his fiancee in a 4 bedroom house and a 4 month old little girl. He needs help raising Skylynn and paying the bills. But then I have a friend whose brother is 28 and works at Walmart but lives with his dad...he spends all his money on video games. Time to grow up and get a life. As a couple, it should be even better as you have help to pay the bills and share the responsibility of food and kids.
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
That's very true, the longer you stay with your parent, the later you will learn how to deal with the reality.Thanks for sharing!
@MrKennedy (1994)
6 Jan 10
Although I love my parents dearly, over the years I have come to realise the fact that living alongside them is an absolute nightmare. Whenever I get married (Which is some time in the near future, I hope), I would most definitely want to live in a home alone in the company of my new wife, rather than being over-crowded by in-laws and pushy parents
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
I total understand what yur are talking about. Thanks for sharing!
• United Kingdom
6 Jan 10
I have been living alone since the age of fifteen! This was quite an early start for me but I'm glad that this took place. I'm now really independent and I love the freedom that this gives me. I do everything myself now and there's no one around to tell me to do things differently. I love preparing my own meals and I don't like having things done for me. I think it's a great learning experience to move away from home and start living independently. I would certainly recommend this to everyone that's thinking of leaving home for the first time. I was a little nervous at first and I guess you ask all the big questions like: How will I cope? Will I be able to make it on my own? Well, things become easier over time! Andrew
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
Hi Andrew, Thanks for the advice. You have a wonder life out there. Thanks for sharing!
• China
6 Jan 10
Hi, vivian, I think I prefer living without parents. But if it's possible, I hope we can live nearby so that we have more time to spend with them. If we live far, that means we have to spend more time on the way. But anyway, both living with parents or not, I won't they take care of us. In stead of it, we, younger couple, should to take care of them. Haha...Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• China
7 Jan 10
Or we talke are of each other!
@ruowei73 (31)
• China
6 Jan 10
I like living with parents,it's so warm.
1 person likes this
• China
6 Jan 10
That's ture.
@MimiRemo (420)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
I'd like to live on our own when my boyfriend and I get married. I think it's a good start as a couple, you can make the most of your newly married life without the influence of your parents and in-laws. When it comes to having a child, you can always visit the grandparents and they can always visit when they choose, too. Bringing up a child, taking care of your own family, and managing your time is all part of being married and independent from your parents.
1 person likes this
• China
6 Jan 10
I have to say i agree with your point. It just that i can't find enough time for myselfs.And deep down my heart, i want people to take care of me instead of i take care of people.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
i live with my in-laws. the good thing about it is they are very kind and supportive. but its true that you will never have any privacy. you cant even have the last say whenever a decision making is needed. seems like youre not learning at all despite being a responsible parents. although my wife and i talked about it and we are planning to buy a new house by the mid of this year. happy mylotting vivianchen!
1 person likes this
• China
6 Jan 10
Good for you Drakesuyat!
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
6 Jan 10
I will choose to live by my own family. I will drop by my parents place often to know if they are alright and need my help. Same as if they wanted to drop by my place too. I think living with my new family is the time for us to know how to live independently. Being able to fix some marital problems will be given solutions which will be participated by both of us. This is where all the foundation we got from our own families will be delivered and learn what will suit for both of us.
1 person likes this
• China
6 Jan 10
Yes, living by our own souds like a good plan!
• United States
6 Jan 10
I would base it on a few factors and the main one being money & the economy. If times are good then live on your own. But realize you may loose your privacy being with his parents, however you'll save alot in bills & chld care. Sometimes it's easer to make a pro & con's list to help you weigh something like that out.
1 person likes this
• China
6 Jan 10
You got some points there!