How to find the right girl when you are too occupied with work?

Philippines
January 6, 2010 6:33pm CST
I've been working for about 5 years in the same company now. I wouldn't say I'm not enjoying it because I actually like working for the company. It's just that outside of work , I don't really get to have my personal space in life. I don't have friends (or atleast have very few of them) outside of my work. I'm starting to get concerned if I should quit my job and look for another where I can be not so comfortable and maybe meet new friends. I would like to get a girl who'll I end up liking and maybe marrying someday. In my current job, there are very few ladies and they aren't really very lady-like. Most are men. I work in an IT company so as you know there are more men IT pros than girls. I guess my real dilemna is, with the current lifestlye I have, how would I find the right girl for me? I haven't had a girlfriend since I started working :(
1 person likes this
18 responses
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
i guess after your studies, you were driven to prove some level of success in your chosen field which was therefore prioritized while socializing was put on the side, whether by choice or not, as dictated by the limitations of your work environment. and i don't think you would stay in a company for five years if you were not enjoying or liking your work despite not having a girlfriend since. it's quite normal to ask oneself the same questions you did. i also experienced the same before. too absorbed in work almost 24/7 straight for several years that i didn't have time to meet the male species in a social setting. hehe but believe it or not, one day you will chance upon meeting someone. there are many opportunities to meet girls/women. this is a much easier task than you think. though, admittedly, it's much harder to find the right one. hehe go out and socialize once in a while. make friends and meet new people online or offline. when given an opportunity, travel. you were looking... because you feel something missing. several IT companies engage more girls/women than you think. look farther or search wider. give a little time or a little space for opportunities to knock. work is one thing, relationships is another. one should not dominate one's time or entire existence. they both should complement the other. and when you socialize, just enjoy for now. the right one will come along.
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
i apologise if i read far more between the lines, than what you have written in your discussion. probing is a hard habit to break for me. some people say that work is a great panacea for a broken heart. but never a lasting cure. i should know. -lol- you need not find a reason to court someone. just hanging out with is pretty acceptable. it's really quite nice to have very close friends who are of the opposite gender. sometimes it fills out the void feeling. of course the real thing is much much preferrable mind you. it's just that there's a time and place for those and it may not happen when we want it to. when you have hesitations and your interest dwindles... there simply is nothing wrong with you. it just so happens that you haven't decided what or who you want or need in your life and you haven't actually found her. when the time comes, you'll know the signs. let yourself fall in love. and not just with the idea of it. ***I do hope I get to find someone that I'll find so interesting that I go crazy over:)*** one day you will. hehehe i hope you do. for now, enjoy and be happy. grow as a person so when the time comes... you are quite ready. relationships, once you are already working, is quite different compared to school days. people are more complex as we become older.
@online_jon (1478)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hi bryandairogarcia? Good day to you. Well, I think you are really busy with your work for about five years. For me if my situation is same to you. I guess i will ask for the company a good break and rest. Then try to go with a good and relax place for you to rest. Then while resting try to socialize with other people by talking. Then you will realize that you find attractive to other girls. In that case you will able to find the right girl for you. Well, that's only my opinion and I hope I give a good advise. In addition always remember that too much work is not good for the health.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
I was planning to go on a trip by myself maybe ride a local cruise for 5 days and mingle with other people. It's a bit expensive though so I'm still saving up. If I do get to have the money then I'd be burdened to decide if I should spend for the vacation or just use it to pay credit debt or do house renovations. I guess from there you see my priorities are pretty screwed up. I always set my personal joy aside and take care of things that are easier to deal with using just brains and money.
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
I think that should be done and just a plan. I'm sure you will enjoy the trip. By the way, don't forget to bring a remembrance in your trip.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jan 10
It's obvious you can express yourself very well so it may be an idea to "find" a girl online, perhaps? I met my hubby in a chat room, would you believe and it was wonderful chatting to someone who was "normal" and had something interesting to say. I don't go in chat rooms anymore so I don't know if there are any good ones out in cyberspace. What I wouldn't do, though, is pay a website to chat to someone, you know, like a dating site. I don't like those. Do you have Instant Messenger, anything of that nature? After meeting hubby in a chat room we would use Yahoo Instant Messenger for about a month before we even met. I know it's a strange way of meeting someone but it worked for us.
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
That's interesting. I'm actually hoping for a normal way but I guess if yours turned out fine then I guess it's ok too. Any decent chat rooms you know? I'm afraid of going into such because most of them are rather indecent and really into flesh market if you know what I mean.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
mine is worst. i had my first gf when im already 21! i myself cant explain why but thats how things goes for me. most of my friends would even tease me coz i never even bother to court someone. its not that i dont have time or something but i just dont feel like being into it that early (im not a conservative neither geek hehe). but the funny thing is, on my 2nd month with my 1st gf, another one came, and 2 more on the next month.lol! you cant really tell when and how many. just continue with what you are doing and eventually, you'll bump into that dream girl whether you like it or not. happy mylotting bryandairogarcia
@agv0419 (3028)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Yes I agree that let the love find you and be patient. You going to find the right girl for you soon. Love comes unexpectedly who knows maybe she is around but you never notice her. Goodluck to you and I hope you going to find her very soon.
@musicque (46)
• Philippines
10 Jan 10
hello...i used to be in your shoes but my destiny came about when i just let myself go naturally over events and take the time to decide what to risk for and not.Life is always a great risk/gamble.Although, i must say that one can never control what is to come or not in everything that we do. I feel that work should not be sacrificed for some searching. I believe that we all move with time and circumstances. One cannot force something to happen really. In my own opinion, as long as you socialize, get affiliated with social groups or even religious groups in your locality and probably define more of your space and criteria ( like going above or below ) every criterion IS YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE.Perhaps, that's where and when you can get the right ONE someday.Be open to other options... do not pre-empt. She may be just right next door, a text mate or chat mate... or simply a lady you have ignored for a very long time.:)
@teamrose (1499)
• United States
7 Jan 10
Easy solution. Start attending social events where girls are likely to be. Accept wedding invitations, attend church or other spiritual gatherings. The laundromat, supermarket, malls are full of girls. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Quality girls also do volunteer work. Force yourself to smile a lot.
@pumeza (56)
• South Africa
7 Jan 10
i suggest you put yourself 1st by prioritising. so u say u want a girl? make time to go out...there's lotd of things u cn do..go iceskating,movies,nightclubs,church if u r a believer, there's lots of activities out there.thats hw u make frens n meet girls....get out there and meet people. Goodluck!!
7 Jan 10
don't bother looking ffor the right one , since the right one will find you if you belive ine something called destiny. SO therefore don't give up on waiting for the rght one
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hello, Bryan.:-) Work without love is boring just like an old adage says. There's no really problem with your situation.Sometimes, you need to give yourself a break from work. It is may be true that most of your colleagues are men but for sure there is still a chance for you to socialize with them or outside. Socializing is the key factor, however, it is a problem if you are an introvert. Attend parties,or hang out with your buddies during weekend. If you are so desperate to look for a girl try networking via WWW, I should say since you are adept in computers.:-). You'll never know who will show up in your door one day.:-) Goodluck.:-)
• India
7 Jan 10
Hey Bryn ,I know there are very few girls in IT profession and it is quite impossible to get a girlfriend in your company.But somewhere in your neighbourhood there will be a girl who'll be single maybe your girl next door and you haven't had noticed it.So don't get upset and start making friendship with them.hope you'll find one who turns up to be your partner.
• China
7 Jan 10
If you really like to work there, do not quit. Just try to find more private time for yourself. When the luck comes you, you will find the right girl of your life. ^_^
@DenverLC (1146)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hi there bryan dairo, Maybe its just a proper time management for you to do other things you wanted to do aside from working for living. In your work place can't you find the right girl of your taste? or in the streets while your on your way home or office? Love as they say will just come in its least expected moment but for love to find its way easily towards us, we must also try to meet its warm magic while it last somehow and somewhere. I believe being a working guy just like me and others is not a good ground to remain loveless and timeless for love for quite so long. never rush anyway coz only fools do.
• China
7 Jan 10
hello bryandairogarcia,some of my girl friends also have the same trouble as you.one works at a garment factory with few mens colleagues,the other one works at a small foreign company with also few colleagues.they all work very hard and often overtime and spend a little time to relax theirselves. i find it is an common phenomenom in China at present,i suggest they to change a new work with a lot of men colleagues.anyway marriage is the same important as the work for ladies. to you,i don't suggest to change work,it is more important for men to earn money,haha. it is a good choice to ask your colleague to introduce girls to you,and it is another choice to make friends with the college students nearby. anyway,the most important is don't let the working occupied your time,spend more time to meet friends and try to attend activities as much as possible. right girl is standing and waiting your discover. have a good luck.
7 Jan 10
maybe in the church? that is if you are a christian but many girls attending church service are quite conservative but it depends on what sort of "right" girl you are looking... good luck!
@lealuvy2j (1986)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hi Bryan. I suggest reconnecting with your friends from High school or College. I used to think the same with you with the company I am currently working for but when I regularly met up with my college friends after work, I met my boyfriend now from the same group of friends and the plus side is we were good friends before we became a couple so the bond between us is much stronger. Another suggestion I have in order for you to meet girls is to travel around your country, I don't think money would be a problem because it looks like you have a stable job and try to meet new people while traveling. I saw that you are from the Philippines so I think you should try Boracay. Good Luck on finding your girl.
• Malaysia
7 Jan 10
Hi bryan, Good day to you. I believe most of the guys are similar to you which start to concentrate on the career after graduation from college/university, and will set aside the relationship as secondary. Relationship isn't something that so logic like the programming. It's more on the fate between two people, therefore, you just react naturally in your daily life. But make sure that you expose yourself to more people. Definitely, you will meet your Ms right.
@yugasini (12839)
• Anantapur, India
7 Jan 10
hi bryandairogarcia, if you are not satisfied with the present,it is better to change your job according to your will and wish,there you can find good and right girl for marriage and good girl and boy friends,but all will happen if it is in your fate,but do not worry try for another good job for you,then leave the old one,have a nice day
@xannebull (1800)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
You really have to socialize with other people outside your company, get out and invite friends around, hang out a lot because it will also relieve whatever stress that your work can give.