should parents be strict or not?

Philippines
January 13, 2010 2:25am CST
what are your thoughts about this topic? I may tend not to be strict. Because it may cause them to rebel against us, and holding them to try the outside world. Thus, making them naive of it. It may also hold their ability to unearth their personality and uniqueness. Then later on, they may become dependent on circumstances or tasks, that they will not try it on their own because of pitfall avoidance and risk of being intimidated.
5 people like this
12 responses
• United States
14 Jan 10
There has to be a balance. I think that parents need to be strict when necessary, but soft when needed. Being too tough or too strict will make the child rebellious, but being too soft will make the child see you as a doormat, and will give them the impression that they can get away with anything.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
14 Jan 10
I think parents should be strict with their children. "To be strict" doesn't mean the parents force their children to do anything they expect in a violent way. Friendly communication is much better to educate their children what is right and what is wrong. The parents should explain patiently with examples and show their children the bad result of bad behaviour. If the children understand the reason, they will not follow their parents instructions instead of rebellion.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jan 10
olivesy28 you as a parent should be a great role model for your children, they learn from you and you should guide them in the right direction, being firm but not pusnishing at all.Discipline is simply teaching them good behavior and the best way to do that is be the good role model for them. do stop them from getting hurt when they are little by a quick swat to the butt or hand and a no no dont ever do that, thats not like spanking a child or beating neither of which are good for teaching kids right from wrong. just teaches violence instead.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
14 Jan 10
Hi Olivesy, There is a middle ground that parents need to find with their children and each child is different. Yes, kids need discipline. You have to as a parent know your child and pick your battles. I had 4 girls and I disciplined them all differently and according to their personalities. I had convictions and there were some things that I absolutely would not tolerate even if that meant them hating me. I was confident that their "hating" me would be a temporary clause and it was.I had certain rules and if the rules were not followed then certain discipline was. You really can't get caught up and worry about your child liking you or being his buddy. That is where so many parents skrew up. Let the kid hate you...it's just for a short while.Of course you can be overly strict and that will cause problems too. You have to set your rules and stick to them.
@janale6 (52)
14 Jan 10
parents need to be strict, if they need to. it depends on the situation. of course, if your son has done bad things, you don't tolerate it! but with the generation today and our parents' generation before. we need to understand. uhmm.. maybe we just need to be open minded. parents should talk to their sons and daughters so that they feel trusted.
@Romaniac (54)
• United States
14 Jan 10
I really do think it depends. Alot of parents I believe are overly strict, which in my opinion, makes them too protective, and some parents I believe are not strict enough. My parents were to strict, I believe. I was not alowed to go anywhere, or do anything. And because of that, I never really had a childhood. I'm 19 years old, and live with my fiance, in an apartment that we have had for two years. The couse of my parents actions, caused me to grow up fast, but in either case, I think I turned out okay. Though, like I have seen with my cousins, not being strict enough, can be the cause of bad parenting. My younger cousins are allowed to run around all night, and do as they wish. And tey're only 9! They are the most spoiled kids I have ever seen, and have no control. I think there's a midium you should have to find.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Jan 10
I think there is a time and a place to be strict. Children do require a cirtain level of strictness to understand the value of right and wrong. While they are young and their brains are soaking up the values we are trying to impress upon them its good. But, yes they need space to grow. while at the same time understand depending on the seriousness of the situation conquances abound and some may not be the plesent.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
13 Jan 10
It depends on the personalities of your kids. If you have independent responsible kids, then there's no reason to be excessively strict. If that isn't the case, then maybe you have to be - in order to head off issues in the future.
@mdaher88 (16)
• Canada
13 Jan 10
I find that parenting is a hard issue to discuss when it comes to being strict or not. There's no precise way to say how strict you should be or how lenient but let's say that you're always strict about everything, this will probably lead to a feeling of over-protection, and if you're to lenient well this might end up with children who don't know their limits. I think that whenever you are confronted to a situation where there's a conflicts between how your child should act and how you think is right, it is best to confront the child to both situations and let him choose his way. Because if the parent's right, the child will grow from experiencing the wrong. If not well isn't personal experience what made you a parent today? the same way the child's experience will build him up.
@cmhjjh (99)
• United States
13 Jan 10
Strict or not? I try to be both. I want my kids to try new things and feel like they can be themselves and we won't judge at the same time I am the parent and not there friend so there are some things that will just be off limits. I will never be one of those parents that let me kids have friends over and drink underage etc... I do think there is line not to be crossed but some parents are way to hard on their kids for things that in the long run really won't matter. Just enjoy everyday with them and love them and it will all be ok.
@Ravenladyj (22940)
• United States
13 Jan 10
I thnk that with some things YES a parent/caregiver needs to be strict BUT also flexible and understanding etc.. However being TOO strict ALL the time can certainly blow up in their face...As the responsible parent/caregiver in their lives yes we need to make decisions and rules to protect them etc BUT they also need to learn some things on their own, its part of growing up ya know...
@Sreekala (20363)
• India
13 Jan 10
Hi olivesy, Parents have an important role in the life of children. They must be role model of kids. So it is always very important how to behave with kids. Regarding the issue ‘strict’ with kids varies on situations. Parents should be strict on some terms. Being strict won’t make a child rebel. They need the love and affection of parents and those who lack the love and affection from parents may become a rebel in later period. Parents should appreciate the kids when they have some achievements even if the achievement is small. Parents should find out time for kids to spend together. They should hug their kids often. It is the duty of the parents to differ the good and evil. If the parents have some good quality then being ‘strict’ will always give good results.