Do you love to read but your spouse doesn't?
By cmauthe1
@cmauthe1 (267)
Canada
January 14, 2010 2:09pm CST
I have been a voracious reader since I was about 11 years old. I have read so many books from many different genres. I can honestly say that there have been only 2 books that I have started and found so boring that I just put it down and never bothered to finish it.
I read everyday, even if it's just a chapter or the local paper. I would prefer to read than watch tv and I have no interest in video games.
My husband rarely reads (I have been trying to interest him in different books/magazines for 10 years!) and it is driving me crazy.
We live out in the bush and we don't have regular tv. We do watch dvds, but don't have satelite or cable. At night, I would prefer to read but he's like, what movie do you want to watch? My usual response is, you go ahead and pick. If it's something that doesn't interest me at all, I will just read my book. Then he will talk to me throughout the movie while I try to read my book. It drives me crazy!!!! If I wanted to watch the movie, I would. I really don't need a play by play. He will do this to me when he is watching tv, reading the paper, playing video games, or whatever. It's almost like he can't see that I am reading. It has become a running joke between us after almost 10 years together.
I would like to know if other couples are dealing with the same issue and what do you do about it? I am passed the getting mad about it stage but I wish he could be more considerate of the things that I like to do.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Thunderll (102)
• United States
14 Jan 10
I know how you feel. I enjoy reading more than watching TV and movies as well, but my husband doesn't. He even goes so far as to say he absolutely hates reading. He's been like this as long as I've known him. I used to try to get him to read books I thought he would like because when I read, I want to talk about it. However, he hasn't finished a book since... Well, I can't even remember. He tries to talk to me about something completely different when I'm caught up in a book, too. Luckily, he's used to me reading now and doesn't mind if he asks a question about the movie and I have no clue what is going on. I just try to tune out all the noise if the book is really interesting.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Thunder! My husband doesn't say he hates reading, but he sure doesn't like it. He makes me laugh when he says he doesn't have "time" for reading but then will spend hours playing a video game or an entire evening watching tv...
I am really good at tuning out whatever is going on around me when I am reading. He will often see that I am reading, but then forgets and talks to me about what he is watching or playing. I just look at him blankly and say "pardon me?" and then he gets sheepish that he's forgotten that I'm reading and he says "nevermind".
Too funny!
Welcome to myLot and happy myLotting!
@Thunderll (102)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Thanks for the welcome! It is pretty funny that your husband uses time as an excuse, then gets caught playing games for hours. Mine tries to talk to me sometimes, too, when I'm not paying much attention to anything around me. He hates it when he tries to start a conversation, but realizes after a few minutes that he is talking to himself because I'm in a completely different world. I don't always mean to ignore him, but it happens. I guess I don't feel bad any more because he makes a game out of it. He starts saying really weird or shocking things just to see which will catch my ear and bring me out of the book.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
14 Jan 10
It's quite the opposite in our house. My husband will read just about anything he can get his hands on,whereas I will only read when I am in waiting rooms or travelling on long journeys. However, if I come across a really good book then I won't put it down until I have finished reading it. He can also watch tv while he is reading but if there is something in particular that I want to watch he will gladly pass the remote to me...unless of course he is watching football. All in all, I think we have an amicable arrangement.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Alexandria! I am just like your husband! I read all the time, and will read just about anything that catches my attention.
I try not to read a book at one sitting, but fit in it to all the things that I need to accomplish for that day. I will read a chapter, go do some housework, read a chapter, get dinner ready, read a chapter, etc. Otherwise I probably would get nothing done in a day!
I too, can read and watch what's on tv, but generally when I am reading I pay no attention to what's going on around me. My mother was the same way and my kids are too!
I think you have a great arrangement too! I think I'll make my husband read this response!
@radsahana (11)
• United States
15 Jan 10
hi aledandria.
Even my husbanda likes to read a lot, especially whiel going to sleep, he need some book. I too read, but not a voracious reader like him.
but due to him i got to read lot ofo good books. Yeah he even watches TV, and i dont like to watch much at all. He likes ot watch movie, and he involves me too, i say ok u like to watch movie, i will sit on computer, which he doesnt like. He wants me to sit with him and watch the movie.
Yes i have seen some poeple who never reads, and i think, how can that people remain like that without reading, they dont know, what they are missing in life.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
I like to read too while my partner doesn't. But luckily, my partner and I also have lots of common interests, so it's really not a problem for us. We actually met each other because of one common hobby -- singing. But sometimes I can't help but talk to him about the things that I read, and sometimes I feel like he gets bored when I do that.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hi Angela! We do have some common interests but reading is NOT one of them, lol! Please read my response to the one above... I guess we both have subjects that will bore the other, but we do make an effort to pay attention.
I usually don't tell him about the books I read because I can tell that he's not that interested. I used to try to get him interested in this book, or that one. You know, "oh honey, you should really try this one. It's all about the aviation industry and they have some really cool equipment in this one" or whatever. Doesn't work usually. Although, he did read "The Road" a few weeks ago, so I shouldn't complain too much.
I guess the main thing is that we love each other and do try to understand that we don't like all of the same things.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I too have been a voracious reader for as long as I can remember. My husband, I think the only thing that he has read in the eight years that I've known him is information that he has found on the internet about alternative fuels. Luckily, he has never made fun of me because I am a reader. It is occasionally that he will tease me about reading before I am able to fall asleep because my lamp will wake him up some of the time.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
The first book I remember being really interested in was "The Hobbit". My grade 7 teacher read it to the class and I have been hooked on books ever since. My mom always read alot, and my kids developed the habit young too. I think it's a great pasttime, as long as it doesn't interfere in the day to day stuff that needs to get done!
Your husband sounds alot like mine! He will read vehicle manuals and will spend hours on the internet looking at old cars for sale. He also really likes that show "Barrett Jackson Auction" or whatever it's called, lol. I have no interest in any of that stuff.
Darren doesn't make fun of me, but he sure doesn't understand why I love to read so much. He doesn't complain about the light on - unless it's causing a glare on the tv screen!
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
I love to read a lot. I started reading at the age of 6. It has always been a part of my life. I don't get bored in reading. I can't remember that there was even just one book that did not get my interest. No matter how boring the book or novel is at the start I always finish what I have started. From my experience novels that have a boring and dragging story at the very first part gets exciting when you're already in the middle part until the end. :)My husband though does not love reading. Sometimes he would do to me what your husband does to you. I get mad at him whenever he does that and I voice it out. I am a very outspoken person. Sometimes he would continue doing it no matter if I told him to stop it cause I'm reading just for the sake of irritating me. When he does this I don't mind him. I don't answer his questions and would focus on reading. He would end up giving up and me winning. :)
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Ladyslipper! I could read before I started school, probably because my Mom is such an avid reader and it just kind of rubbed off. I never get bored reading either. There have only been 2 books in the last 30 years that I just couldn't get into. I also once started the book "Aztec" as a young teenager that was just too heavy for me at the time. I read it again a few years ago and really enjoyed it.
Your husband does sound like mine! I think that now it is kind of a running joke between us. I can be very outspoken also, but now I can give him "the Look" and he just laughs. He knows that I can get really lost in a book and sometimes he has to say my name a few times before I even realize that he's talking to me!
@jamiezhong (21)
• China
15 Jan 10
yes, i do love reading since my childhood. Reading makes a full man. But i don't have a spouse yet. I think everybody has his or her own hobby, maybe your spouse's interest was not reading. Perhaps he also cannot figure it out why are you into reading rather than watching movies. i mean there's no need demanding someone to do things he or she doesn't like. But your husband's making noise while your are reading is really unacceptable. You can communicate with him or just go to another room leaving him alone.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Jamie! I really enjoy reading and I think that it makes me a better, wiser person. I agree that everyone has their own things that they enjoy and if your partner doesn't like to do the same things, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. It can make a relationship better and more interesting to be doing different things. Also, I miss him when he's out doing his own thing which makes our marriage better.
I don't think he makes noise to bug me necessarily (although sometimes he does, lol), I think he forgets that I am reading and not paying attention.
We are currently living on our land in a 37' RV so until our additon is finished, it is virtually impossible to be in another room!
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
14 Jan 10
I guess I just got very lucky in this aspect. My partner is a reader and I am too. I think right now they tend to read a bit more than I do as I'm just too tired when I get home from work to even consider reading so I just don't do it. They have a little more time than I do.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Angel! I have never had a partner that likes to read like I do. I imagine you can have some pretty interesting conversations about books you have both read.
Even when I am tired, I like to read. It takes my mind off of everything and I find it relaxing...
Thanks for your response and happy myLotting!
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Cher! My husband has read 2 books in the 10 years we have been together. I do try to read when he's around but he is constantly interrupting me... it is kind of funny because he will start to say something to me, realize I am reading, then he gets all sheepish :).
It doesn't bother me that he likes to watch tv instead of read. But it can be irritating to be interrupted all the time!
Happy myLotting!
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
15 Jan 10
No we actually are both pretty big lovers of reading. We have a pretty big library going in our room, so much so that we had to get a bookshelf to hold them all. We both love reading because we both love to learn about new stuff and it's really cool because we can both teach each other about what we have been reading about.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Jambi! You are so lucky! I have saved boxes and boxes of books so that when I retire, I can sort them and read a whole saga by an author instead of having to wait for the next book to come out.
My husband loves to hunt and fish and fix cars. We both love the outdoors, camping in the wilderness and nature. I am not really into hunting (but was raised on wild meat), find fishing boring (but love to be out on the river collecting rocks or searching for wild plants) and I am sure that my eyes glaze over when he starts in about this car, or part or why these tires are the best!
I guess it's all about loving someone else, even if they don't like all the same things that you do... he has gotten better over the years though.
I do wish sometimes though that I could discuss a book with him without HIS eyes glazing over, lol!
@maezee (41997)
• United States
14 Jan 10
My sister and her boyfriend are the same way. She likes to read, has all this homework & assignments to do (she's in college full time and has a part-time job), and he just has a full-time, very blue-collar job. They have different goals in life, and are going in different directions, but still manage to love each other the same. It's like their differences bring them closer together. It's weird. But sometimes she gets frustrated with him while he's playing on his xBox 360 and she's trying to do her homework or study (when you share the same room, I would imagine it gets to be pretty difficult of a task). Anyway, she's scholarly and he's not. I think they're finally learning to compromise, though, which is good.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
15 Jan 10
Hello Maezee! Wow, your sister sounds busy! and determined!
I don't know that I am scholarly, but I do love to read. I especially like books with historical storylines, as long as they are well researched, anyway. I have learned a lot of interesting things from reading. I like to say that my head is full of all kinds of useless tidbits. Helps when doing crosswords anyway, lol.
I don't mind that my husband doesn't like to read as long as he understands that I love to read and nothing is ever going to change that!
