Long Distance Relationship

@iharidh (309)
Indonesia
January 14, 2010 8:36pm CST
I happened to facing a new phase in my life. This is because I'm on a long distance relationship right now with my girlfriend. And since I've never been in this kind of situation, I felt that it's kinda irritating. What about you guys? have you ever been in one? If so, would you kind enough telling your experience and, if possible, tips for us.
6 responses
• United States
15 Jan 10
Long distance relationships are really hard to maintain but can be done with hard work. That's right I said "hard work" . It would help if you guys had some kind of history together, at least a year or two. This helps provide a solid base for you to work with. You should have gained a deep sense of trust and respect for your loved one by this time. Sometimes "the absence makes the heart grow fonder" turns into " out of sight, out of mind" and this is in where, the problems lies. There are so many factors that you have to take into consideration. Lets say, for example, she has a lot of friends where she lives and you don't have many. Most of the time when you are alone, you will probably be thinking of her and will probably want to call her to talk. Now if she has many girlfriends to hang out with, she might be out with them occasionally and when you want to talk, she may not have the time at that moment, to give you. This might upset you, but dont take it personal. This is how some people cope with the separation, she is not trying to forget you, she is probably trying to keep from focusing on your absence. Missing you is going to be very painful for her and I'm sure her friends don't want to see her said. So they will take her out. This is just one scenario that you might face in the future. Just think realistically about your situation. If this is someone you really love, one of you will eventually have to relocate. Is this something you want to do or can you see yourself moving to her. This is not going to be easy but love is a strong thing and can sometimes conquer all. I have been exposed to a long distance relationship before and my daughter is currently in one for about six months already. Let me know how you feel and what your looking for in this relationship I would love to share my experiences with you. Good luck!
@iharidh (309)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 10
Reading your explanation gives me conclusion if you have ever encountered with this kind of situation. In addition, the situation you mentioned is quite true in almost these cases, including mine, maybe with a bit different. Say, if both of the couple had enough friends, the problem is turned out to be like this: each time each of them trying to communicate with each other, it seems that the time never supported to do so. For example, if the girl calls, the boy may be out, and the boy calls, the girl is out. Distance make these kinds of things worsen. But I'm curios about one thing, what do you think if the girl of the couple has many friends, not only girls, but boys which are very close to her...
• United States
15 Jan 10
Oh yes that can be a big problem. Because alot of girls i know have more guy friends than girlfriends and that can be sticky. But if you trust her you will have to get over that. If you think that u cant trust her, then believe me it will not work. Because any men that know that your not around will sometimes take advantage of that. They will "be there" for her when you can't. For example if by chance you happen to argue one day and she gets really upset, one of her guy friends might console her to make her feel better. Sometimes accidents happen at this time. Shes feeling vulnerable and sad and he comforts her and then it happens , before you know it they're kissing and then the complications begin. and believe me it can happen the other way around also, you might be upset one day and one of your "girlfriends" might try to take you out to get your mind off the problems. Then a couple of drinks later , she kissing you and the trouble starts again. So the big question is ... do you trust her!!! If you do , then its all good
• United States
15 Jan 10
A long distance relationship can be challenging but it can be fun too. There are so many ways to stay 'in touch' these days and make the time you are together special. My suggestions....use all the tools: email, chat, webcams, phones, texts, and do not laugh but even snail mail. In our high tech society, it is still the greatest feeling to get a card, letter, or small gift in the mail from someone you care about, and all these things, if used, will bring you closer together. And just think of all the wonderful memories you are creating. The biggest challenge is that you have to have a great deal of trust in the other person and they in you. Do not let misunderstands simmer, be open and honest and get the irritating little things out in the open right away. It is easier to misunderstand someone when you are not looking in their eyes. Be creative...you do not have to send a dozen roses but a single rose is nice sometimes....and you do not have to send a fancy box of chocolates but do send her favorite candy now and then..... Guys....believe me when I say...Little things mean a lot!!! Best wishes!
@iharidh (309)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 10
Thank you for your support friend.
@2cateyes (97)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I'm actually in a similar situation. I really like a guy but he is almost 24 hours away from me. As much as I would like to try to make things work I find it very frustrating that I can't see him in person. So, there's no telling how far this will go. I can't offer much advice to you since we're in the same boat but I wish you the best of luck!
@iharidh (309)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 10
So we are in same situation. By seeing you mentioning 24 hours away, are you for real? It's like distance between US and South East Asia. I can say it's very far. But because we're in the same situation causes we can't share experience and advises. For me, It's comforting if we can share our knowledge. I wish you the best too !
@mjmlagat (3171)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
hello there! i believe there's really nothing wrong with such kind of relationship for as long as the two of you are matured and responsible enough to meet the challenges of the situation. it's more exciting even because as a saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder...so good luck!
@iharidh (309)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 10
well thank you very much for your support. I see you're an optimist person.
@Thunderll (103)
• United States
18 Jan 10
Long distance relationships are definitely a struggle. I spent almost five months unable to talk to my boyfriend of four years. All we could do was write each other. After that, I was only able to talk to him over the phone and see him for a couple of days near holidays for the rest of the year. Basically, in a whole year, I got to actually see and touch him less than once a month. It was a total shock to me after seeing him every day for four years. Luckily, now we are married, have been together for 5 and a half years, and live together again. So, it can be done, but it takes a lot of hard work and trust. You must trust your partner, and you must have the strength not to stray yourself. Keep in touch in as many ways as you can. Talk on the phone, e-mail, or write if you have to. Don't forget birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays your partner celebrates. Try to send something nice even if you can't be there to give it to her personally. Send some pictures and ask for some. Having a picture nearby that you will see often reminds you of just who exactly you are waiting for. If you get any chance at all to see her, take it. Those are the only suggestions I can think of right now.
• United States
17 Jan 10
I think long distance relationships suck! Sorry just the way I feel I knew the guy since we went to school together I moved away and we dated after that and he cheated on me. But maybe it will be differnt for you