Did you savor what will soon be gone?

@AmbiePam (50066)
United States
January 15, 2010 8:48am CST
You could use an example of a piece of land that is incredibly beautiful, but will soon be sacrificed for "progress" in the way of new bulding and businesses taking over. In my case I am speaking of my grandfather. I finally got to see him (he lives three hours away) for the first time since he was put in the nursing home. As I menioned earlier, he is only supposed to be there for a month. I don't know really what will happen in that area regarding his health. But yesterday when we were getting ready to leave the nursing home, I wheeled him down to the physical therapy room and hugged him. I tried to commit some things to memory. I wanted to hang on to what his cologne smelled like, the way his cheek felt against my cheek when I bent over to give him a hug and kiss. I touched his head and smoothed away his hair and I just wanted to absorb everything about him. I truly don't know if he will be here on earth much longer. He's an exceptional man and I am incredibly lucky to have him for a Papaw. He's the only grandfather I have ever known, but with him in my life, I didn't miss a thing. Do any of you know what I'm talking about? And would you mind sharing your experiences and feelings with me?
4 people like this
11 responses
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I look at a picture my mom took from her condo in Durango - snow and the train track and a falling down old barn. Its all gone now - replaced with condos - They were starting them when she sold the condo - it might have even been part of what got her to sell it, knowing her view was going to be gone by the following summer. No, we've never been back, but someone who has been told her they were built. Oh well, I miss talking to my mom like we used to talk, but I try and see her every week - this week got missed because of my car trouble - I may try to get over this weekend and at least say hi, the weather should be better too.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50066)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Doesn't really seem like progress, does it.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
16 Jan 10
no it doesn't and when she bought the condo she was told it was a flood zone so wouldn't be built on
1 person likes this
• Australia
15 Jan 10
I never knew any grandparents. My father left when I was very young. I had three "fathers" who all abused me in various ways for the first 22 years of my life. My mother was emotionally a child and could not be called a mother in any true sense, but she did her best. She just wasn't capable of love. I returned to England for a holiday when I was 44 years old. I accompanied my mother who was not well enough to travel alone. She wanted me to meet my brother whom I had not seen for 33 years. I wasn't really interested in seeing my brother, but I desperately wanted to meet my father. I met him but he wasn't interested. Since no one - not even his own family - had a good word for him, I don't think I missed much, but I wanted to meet him. As soon as my brother and I met, it was as if we'd been together all our lives. We were immediately VERY close and his wife was a perfect sister. I spent a number of holidays with my brother. The last time I left, I knew it was unlikely I'd see him again. He had bowel cancer but was still reasonably active. Our farewell that time remains permanently in my memory. As I was driven away from the house I watched him leaning against the archway with pink roses growing over it, looking so sad. I have many happy memories of times with him, but that is the one I remember most.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50066)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I'm glad you have those memories, I just wish you were able to have made more of them.
• Australia
16 Jan 10
I am thankful for all my memories. I don't have any happy memories from childhood, but I am still thankful for each and every one of them. They made me what I am and have given me abilities I would not have had otherwise. Of course, memories like the ones with my brother are much more precious, and to top them all are ones from almost 50 years of happy marriage and five wonderful sons. I have a wonderful life!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
21 Jan 10
Your discussion is such a useful one because so many times we regret not having taken the time to ‘saviour’ someone until it is too late and he or she is gone. It is all too easy to let the important things pass us by because life is busy. You have reminded us that every single time we see a loved one we should do all we can to appreciate every minute, life is precious and, sadly too short!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50066)
• United States
21 Jan 10
Thank you, Paula.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
17 Jan 10
I am touched by your wisdom and insight as you speak of your exceptional grandfather. You are truly blessed. I, too, was blessed by having grown up in a multi-generational family and living with my grandparents as well as my parents, siblings, and uncle. Families in other countries still live that way and it's a great thing. Strong families and family unity are what made America great and somehow we have lost our way and disconnected to that part of our heritage. The continuity and connection of the generations is vital to the development of character and wisdom in youth. Too many today do not understand the importance of historical perspective as evidenced and demonstrated by those who have come before us. "Ageism" has become a blot on our collective character, as we don't properly value and respect our elders. Now that I am a grandma, I see more clearly the great love and sacrifice of both my parents and grandparents is nurturing and protecting me and showing me the right path. When we disparage those who are old, we forget the analogy of "silver and gold", as in the value and treasure that is before us. Scripture says in Proverbs, "a child's glory is his father, an old man's is his grandchild." I know and experience the truth of that every day, so I know how much your grandfather loves and treasures you. I pray his health will be better so he can return to those who love him and live a very long life. You are truly blessed to have him in your life and blessed to realize what a treasure you have been given.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50066)
• United States
18 Jan 10
You are so right about ageism. We're not only cheating the older people in our lives of respect, but we're cheating ourselves of a valuable gift.
@hirumon (90)
• India
15 Jan 10
Yes..i do know that feeling. I have two incredible grandmothers. They were my first caretakers as my mom worked as a teacher and cant get very long leaves.. All my childhood was centered around them. They used to sing me folk songs and play riddles and tell stories. And they both got a very incredible sense of humor. Now they are both old and having age related problems and deceases. I do see them once in a week. Now im seeing the energy of them getting lower, actives are also getting slow. But they still have that sense of humor with them. I really cant think of my life without them..i don't want to..They are two of the most priceless gifts that my life given me.
@AmbiePam (50066)
• United States
15 Jan 10
Thank you for sharing this.
@glords (2615)
• United States
18 Jan 10
I remember doing that exact same thing with my grandfather before he got sick. We were sitting in his sun room and he had just come in from gardening. His yellow hat made his whole face glow like the sun. It was early in the morning and he had already finished his breakfast. Although I really tried to focus on every detail of that morning much of it is gone. I wish I'd done the same with my father. I'd rather remember what it was like to watch him in his garden, playing with the dog, or feeding the birds. Sadly my most vivid memories are of that last year. The smell of the hospital (a combination of chemicals and bodily fluids), the sounds of the machines, his thin cold body, and the pain in his eyes. I guess I just never really thought I'd loose my dad. He seemed so invincible, so permanent. I think its wonderful to have those moments where you appreciate what is almost gone, but I think we also need to invest the same time and appreciation in the things that seem so permanent. You never know.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 10
hell-o there i am so glad that you what to take in all you can of your grandfather i work in a resthome and i see so many time that they bring them and drop them off and never come back so i feel that you our doing the right thing and i hope that you live close so that you can see him we have found where i work that the people that have family that come everyday they seem to stay stonger and happier the best thing is take him out side for fresh air and if he is having therapy that will help him get stonger but they also have to have the will to get better. so yes take in all you can and have him tell you some stories they have some good one to tell and sometimes thing you didnt even know about you can really learn from them keep up the good job . love him with everything you have and make your ,memory's
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I'm sorry about your grandad, Ambie. it sure is hard to let them go. I had great grandparents & still miss them to this day.
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Jan 10
I wish I had known that my mom would soon be gone. I would have done the same thing!
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@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I know what ya mean but it was my hubby not my grandfather . I can remeber what they look like But I love to remeber how hubby held me
1 person likes this
@cmhjjh (99)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I lost my dad when he was only 46 and it was really hard. After time it makes me sad of things I dont' remember as well as I use to. What it made me realize is you never know when the ones you love may be gone. I have tried so hard to everyday just enjoy and savor every good moment with my kids and we are a hugging family we always hug goodbye. We have had a lot loss in our family a few years ago and my husband and I had just gotten married and had no children and it was a hard time but I think it has helped make us better parents.
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