How long does it take you to decide if you would accept a friend request or not?

@angelajoy (1839)
Philippines
January 18, 2010 1:53am CST
Normally it just takes minutes for me to decide if I would accept a friend request or not. But lately lots of people have been making friend requests just to promote their websites or to get referrals (in short, to spam), so I've learned to be cautious in accepting friend requests. It actually took me weeks to accept some friend requests that I have. (I apologize to those people. ) What usually makes me accept a friend request is when I see the person making meaningful posts.
6 people like this
34 responses
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
For me when I see the person that is really a friend that exchanging ideas in a long time. I will accept it and even those new comer that request for friendship I will accept as kind of respect for their personality and hoping they will help in the near future...Have a nice day, angelajoy!!!
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
Thanks to everyone who replied to my discussion. By the way, I rated everyone positive! Have a nice day everyone!
1 person likes this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Have a nice day to you too, angelajoy!!!
2 people like this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Have a nice day also, angelajoy. Hope we can have a good conversation again like this way. Don't worry I will be a good friend to anybody else...
2 people like this
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
18 Jan 10
i accept any friend request and don't give any thought into it. i'm just glad someone requests to be my friend.
2 people like this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
18 Jan 10
You must be a very welcoming person then. I'm sure you are the kind of person who's not hard to approach.
• Pamplona, Spain
20 Jan 10
Hiya elmiko, Same here I usually accept the request and give no more thought to it. I usually see what they write about I really don´t mind if they write two sentences we all started somewhere along the line. Some people speak a lot but can´t write a lot but they might well develop a knack for writing anyhow either way it does not bother me like that I´m glad to have friends to write with too.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
22 Jan 10
It depends on the person and the situation. If the person that we are talking about is someone that I have noticed frequently responds to the discussions that I have started or the same discussions that I take place in, then I am likely to accept them right away. However, there are a lot of requests that I get from people that haven't taken part in many discussions and for those people it takes me quite some time to accept if I ever even accept it at all.
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Normally, it would only take me a few minutes to accept a friend's request. If for some reason, I'm not familiar with the name, it is my responsibility to look it up and it would take about 2 to 3 days to confirm such request. If after that time, I could verify the request, I decline the request.
2 people like this
@ybong007 (6658)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Instantly. as soon as there's an email message. I used to received spam messages when i was just starting but i'm not taking it against the sender. After all, it's up to me whether i would sign up to their sites or not. I occasionally send friend requests as well and i check if there are pending requests. If my request has been pending for at least a week i usually delete that request since i presume that that person don't want to be my mylot friend. Which does not make much of a difference anyway since i can still post to his or her discussions anyway.
2 people like this
@msinfo79 (325)
• United States
20 Jan 10
I normally accept a request a few minutes after I check out there profile. I really don't care what a person promotes, I might be interested in their products or service one day, or at least know someone who does need it.
@dhysanne (451)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Hello! If he's a Filipino, it just takes me a minute to accept friend request. I want to meet other Filipinos especially here in Mylot. For others, I always look on their profile first, then accept. I don't actually reject people. It just takes me a time to think if I will accept his request. But normally I am the one who send friend requests. I want to gain more friends even if I can't get to know him personally. I hope I have answered your question right. Have a nice day!
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
18 Jan 10
Hello, Angela. I usually decide to accept on the day the request is made. I go to the profile of the requester and look at their posts and started discussions. If the posts are good, and some are in my interests, I'll usually accept the request. However, if all the posts are in the moneymaking interests, I'll deny the request, as to me that sends out a warning signal. Banners on the profile page don't put me off if the posts are interesting, as several of my good friends here have banners, but have never tried to spam anyone. Yesterday I had an FR from someone who hasn't made a single post yet, and I turned that down, as that is usually an indication that they want referrals rather than friends. I have some very good friends on here, and the main reason is because I'm selective about accepting and making FRs. To me, friends are people I share interests with and interact with on a regular basis. The spammers don't see a friend, they see a fresh earning opportunity.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
18 Jan 10
I also don't immediately accept friend requests from people who have made very few posts because like you, I feel like they are just here to get referrals. It takes long for me to accept some of my friend requests because when I see that the person requesting to be my friend has posted mostly on the "make money" interests, I still give him or her a chance. I don't like rejecting friend requests if I can help it. Many do start here with the thought of just earning money, but some of them have a change of heart and truly enjoy the mylot community after participating in it. Some of those people who mainly posted about making money are now participating actively in other discussions.
1 person likes this
• Spain
18 Jan 10
I think a lot of people join initially with the idea of making money, and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it's done in the right way. The PM system and the profile page allow plenty of opportunities for referrals. I've come across people who have started off posting in money making, then come across an interesting discussion in another interest and got hooked on the discussion side of things. Funnily enough, when you participate fully in discussions, your earnings actually go up, which is a nice little bonus.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Yes, I agree. It's when you really enjoy the discussions that you earn more.
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
19 Jan 10
I accept most friend requests. I will look at their profile first, but I have never turned one down yet. I was not aware that some people make requests and then try to get referrals or promote their websites.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
Some do indeed. I've experienced it here in mylot.
• United States
22 Jan 10
I have never had that happen yet. I guess there is a first time for everything.
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Jan 10
Hi Angela, Nothing to think about...i accept a friend's request immediately. if you will give in to their invitation for any website promotions for online earning that's all up to you. but i always accept all mylot friends invitation. though i experienced not being accepted by some-- i still have at least six invitees in my friends list who never accepted my invitation. i respect their decision. friendship here is not a hard sell-- no pressure. but with online earnings i am extra careful!
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
You're right that accepting their promotions and other stuff is entirely up to you. But I still don't want to be spammed.
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Jan 10
yes nobody will ever want to be spammed and scammed. so let's be very careful in registering eventhough we all want to earn extra money. there's always a risk and it's up to us to take on the risk![em]wink
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jan 10
I don't allow any request pending for long as I feel uneasy as long as I see the number besides that friends column. I have to approve it to get the figure out of my sight. Unless if the person has zero participation here and would wait for one or two days but in the end I will also approve them. But I have one case where that person deleted me and requested me again, that one I let it hang on there for days but in the end he canceled his request. Good riddance! I don't see the rational behind all his actions to delete and request again.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Maybe he just deleted you by mistake so he tried to add you as his friend again? That's one reason that popped into my mind. Maybe he canceled his request because he felt like you didn't want to add him anymore as you didn't accept him immediately. But I may be wrong. It's also possible that he just wanted to delete you but he suddenly changed his mind.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
19 Jan 10
Hi angelajoy, It doesn't take me long to figure out whether or not to accept a friend request. I went thru a spell where I was very cautious but that was due to a troll that was wreaking havoc around here. most of the requests are from members that I recognize as responding to my discussions or ones that I've been on. I don't think much on it and accept them. If they immediately start spamming me then it is an easy fix. I just delete them.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
I also accept a friend request immediately when I've already had a nice chat with the person who sent the request because I already have an idea of what the person might be like.
19 Jan 10
It depends on which site I receive the friends request on. On mylot I tend to accept anyone who sends me a request, but on sites such as myspace or facebook I tend to think more carefully before accepting. I tend not to add people on those sites unless I already know them or if they have contacted me due to us both having a mutual friend.
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
I think it's safer to accept friends here in mylot than in social networking sites like facebook or friendster because those sites show lots of personal information about its members.
• United States
18 Jan 10
I just add them and if they turn out to be a spamer I just delete them. The lists on here and other sites are not even really "freind" lists anymore it's more like how many people I can get on my list.
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Yes, it does seem like the friends list is not really just a list of friends anymore. Many people accept each other as friends to exchange referrals or to talk about other money-related matters.
• United States
18 Jan 10
I don't take time to look at anything. if they spam me I just hit the delete button . I don't mind having friends who want me in their life. So all is welcome and we have fun. Thanks
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Lots of mylotters are like you. You seem like a nicer person than me.
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
18 Jan 10
HI, It would take me a minute to approve them as well... I dont mind for anyone adding me as a friends. If they treat me good then I will do the same back to them. If they just want for their benefit then I will let them go easy as well
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
You're another mylotter who's very nice to everyone, even to those who are just here to promote their business. As for me, I find that hard to do, especially when I see that the person's posts are all about money making. But there's really nothing wrong about that. It's just that I want to have real-life conversations.
@agito121 (177)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Jan 10
i dont care who i add, only sometimes but usually i dont even check n the person i just add them on random so that i can get more friends..
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
So you don't check the person at all? Wow, that's really nice of you.
@azedicus (43)
• Philippines
18 Jan 10
as soon as i see it. i accept all friend requests, always (i'm friendly and love to have bunch of friends). but every end of the month, i review my friends list, and if i find out they're not familiar to me, i send them message that i'll delete them from my list, courtesy??? :D
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
So you're just like eshaan. You accept all requests and then later just delete those you don't like. But I find it funny that you send them a message that you would delete them before you delete them. If I would delete someone I wouldn't bother to send him or her a message.
@eshaan (6193)
• India
18 Jan 10
I don't even for seconds...i accept whenever there is a request ....and even i have never bothered for those links sent to me...if i have time..i see the link..otherwise just neglect the mail...and if ever someone disturbs me too much..then i will delete that friend..though i have never done this till now..i make friends just to respond to the discussions...and that i do regularly....though the friends may not care to reply mine...
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
So you accept all friend requests you get and then just delete those you really don't like afterwards? I've never deleted anyone, and I hope I won't need to.
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
18 Jan 10
I am also watching out for those people who makes a friend request so that they can get referrals. Once, as soon as I accepted a friend request, I received several PMs asking me to join this and that. I did not like that. So now, I check out the person's profile first and see the discussions he has started. I respond to one or two discussions before going back and accepting the friend request. So far, I do not think I have rejected a friend request yet. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
It's good to know that you haven't yet rejected a friend request. I don't like rejecting friend requests if I can help it because I would really love to be friends with everyone here. I just don't want to be spammed.