But how far does a mother's love needs to go?

Philippines
January 19, 2010 1:00am CST
My mom always tells me that she will be here for me no matter what. But how far does a mother's love needs to go? How about if your son killed two people on two different occasions because of "road-rage"? Are you going to help him hide and run for justice? or are you going to put him in jail and face his sentence? Finally, after two months of hunting, Ivler was arrested yesterday by the NBI. Ivler was the suspect for killing Renato Ebarle Jr., a son of government official here in our country. He was also involved in a deadly car accident that killed presidential adviser Nestor Ponce Jr which was happened in 2004. It was reported that her "mother" allegedly hide him on their house for two months after giving a statement last November that his son might gone to Hawaii. Now that his son was captured and on intensive care unit after sustaining a gunshot wound in the right shoulder and in his abdomen (because he resisted arrest and shot two NBI agents with his rifle.) are you going to say it was still a mother's love? If you are in a situation...what are you going to do to save your son?
3 people like this
18 responses
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
19 Jan 10
What good did she do by hiding him. It was not like after some time people were going to forget the incident. What good is a mother's love if it turns her children into a bad person. Mother's should remember that her job is not just to love her children. It her responsibility to make sure that her children grow up to be good human beings. Loving a child is not about doing what the child asks for. Its about doing what is good for the child.
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
hi vanillarey, I hear you! In that matter, love should not be questioned. A mother's love is priceless but, knowing what is best and necessary for our kids must be acknowledge and fulfilled. What they become is our success or failure. Thank you for your great views.
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Marlene Aguilar love his son very much that even it can harm her she will do what she have to do. We can't blame her for doing it, she love her child so much and she is willing to sacrifice everything for him. But for me a good parent should surrender their child for them to realize their mistake. Even if can hurt them, they have to sacrifice, because it is for their good of their own child too. They have to face the consequences of their act. We have to follow due process of law. If I was him, I will surrender my child and help my child to accept whatever the courts decision. However, this is very hurtful situation on the part of the parents.
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
hi grecychunny26, I agree on that, it'll be hard for a parent to decide what's best for her/his child, some times what is right can hurt us. Thanks for your beautiful response!
19 Jan 10
Well, they say you always give your son the benefit of doubt. This was a bit extreme but if I knew my son was involved in such stuff, I would rat him out but that would be after I have spoken to them and asked them about it. Of course depending on how they respond, you can ascertain they did it or not but regardless, even if you are turning them in, let them know that you love them and thats the reason you are doing so. Not turning them in could lead to more deaths, and how many more families will you hurt in the process???
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
hi thaonly4ever! that's a great answer! it may worsen the situation if we somehow tolerate it. I mean, loving a child (although I'm still single and not yet a mommy) doesn't involve appreciating them after doing hideous things, we still love them but, putting them to where they should be doesn't mean we love them less. No one is above the law. No matter how hard the situation is, if someone commits a crime - he/she must be punished. But you know, it's really hard to be in that situation. Hey!!!by the way!lolz.. I saw that it was your first "response" in mylot! which means you are new in here? Am I right? lolz!!! WELCOME to MYLOT!!!
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
19 Jan 10
danitykane, I do not blame the mother here from hiding her son from the authorities. There are just so many mitigating issues here. No offense taken, but her hesitation here might also be because she could not trust the controversial legal system in her country. I am sure at her age, she must have been through a lot and enough experience for her present perception of her country's law and order. Then, there is the fact that, this is her flesh and blood which no matter how much he has done, he is still her son. I am sure most parents will feel and do the same here, it just too heart wrenching to send one's child to jail let alone the gallows for such a crime. Honestly, I am unable and certain that I would have the same courage if it were to befall on my children (touch wood). However, I would have to pluck up enough courage to send him/her to the authorities on the fact that they will not suffer further from their own conscience. I have learned and understood a lot about those anguish and loses when people try to evade their conscience. It is not only energy sapping but painful as well and I just cannot bare to see them living with such a heavy burden on their shoulders. I hope that I will not have to see this day and be the one to make this painful decision.
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
hi skysuccess, Yes, maybe she has lots of hesitation and doubts about the justice system here in our country. Besides, its her son...I can't blame her. But the fact that it ended that way (her son on the ICU), it was just so sad. There's another issue about her son being an american citizen, and wants that US should take over the case. It's a bit crazy, it really is crazy! You have great thoughts there! Happy Lotting!
1 person likes this
• Singapore
20 Jan 10
Well, like you I just feel sorry for the mother here but there's really nothing she can do except to prepare for the worst. I mean let's face it, her son just had to be answerable for his actions and if he had any decency left in him, to stop making his mother suffer. It is about time he learn to face the music and relief her mother's sufferings.
• India
19 Jan 10
mothers love is mothers love. it cannot have any limits. i mean its really difficult for a mother to be in such a situation. just imagine from day one till say 20-21 yrs you have taken care of each n everything of a child. and now you know that ur son is wrong but u cannot leave him. i really wont blame that mother. i guess every mother would have taken same steps. she knew that the end would not be gud but she wants to delay the end as far as she can and she had done the same thing. cannot blame anyone in such conditions. :(
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
hi jayeshrevised, I do to, I can't blame her fully and it's hard to be in that kind of situation. It's hurting to see our child suffer...but we have to be objective with the whole situation even if it hurt us. Thanks for responding jay! Happy Lotting!
1 person likes this
@atleya (947)
• Indonesia
19 Jan 10
I imagine how sad those mom in such situation. However, I think a good mother will always protect her son in whatever situation, even if her son is guilty. That's a mother's love, I think. Best wishes,
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
hello atleya! Yes sure it'll be so damn hard. I can't imagine how sad it is to be in that situation. I think it is an instinct for most parents like our mom to protect us from any harm. But in case our child are causing harm to others...we should think further and do what is necessary and right for our children.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
24 Jan 10
Hiya danitykane, Yes a Mother will always try to rescue her Children even if we are hurt and angry with them it is in our natural makeup as a Mother to do this no matter what. I would persuade him try to persuade him to give himself up because the longer he puts it off the worse it will be for him in the end. Not an easy thing to say. Yes a Mother will still normally stand by her Son even in these cases I would say. If it were me would I still love him? Yes I think I would but thank God this has not happened to me as such.
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
Hi there! I will also die to see someone I cared about go in that kind of direction. I think every mother would do everything to protect her child.
• Pamplona, Spain
27 Jan 10
Hiya danitykane, A Mother´s love protects, calms and heals her children but she cannot be responsable for the wrongdoings of her Children. Yet she will still stay by them no matter what I have seen cases of that kind over here.
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Jan 10
Hi Danitykane, I will offer my life for my kids. With Ivler's case, i understand his mom's feelings and decision of keeping her son. but it will make things more complicated if i will continue hiding him. the best way that i can do as a mom is to convince my son or even report to the authority where my son is--a voluntarily surrender my son because that's the best way i can do for him. i will stand by him, visit him and provide all the support that he will need. at least i am sure that he's alive and i will still have the chance of seeing him. i will have the chance to join him in his struggles and finally after justice has been serve...i will still be there to welcome him and join his new life.
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
hi msfrancisco9369! Yes! Same here, I think that is the best thing to do! I, too, understand how she feels about the whole situation, maybe she was scared about losing her son. But letting her son hide from the authorities worsen the whole situation, she may end up losing her son literally. I just like how you perceive such situation, welcoming him and joining him in his new life is just a wonderful thing to do. Thanks for your response. Happy Lotting!
• Boston, Massachusetts
21 Jan 10
I will try my best to break the distance… I will let him feel my love and support despite him being behind bars. We may be apart but this will surely make him feel I am just there beside him. I will never give up on him. In times like this what he only needs is an assurance of a mother’s love and I will give it to him fully.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
11 Feb 10
hi danitykane, Hiding your child from facing justice is not love at all. Love would have been seeing that your child had an anger problem and sticking by them while they paid for their crime as well as got the help they needed to hopefully prevent the crime from happening again. If her son had paid for his first crime then all that followed may never have happened. In our country, that mother would have been charged with obstructing justice and done a little jail time right along side of her son.
• Philippines
13 Feb 10
hi sid556! I think the court already filed obstruction of justice against her. I do agree on you that hiding our child for something they've done - although in this case it wasn't yet proven that her son is guilty - the fact that she let him hide from the proper authorities was already unlawfully right. Hope that victims in this incident (road kill) will soon find justice and the person/people who are responsible for the said crime must be punished by law. Thanks for your great response!
@balasri (26577)
• India
24 Jan 10
As far as I know a true mother's love has no measurement or yard stick.
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
you are right! mother's love is endless, something you can't measure and you can't compare. Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts.
• United States
20 Jan 10
If I knew my kid had done something horrible like that, then no I would not help them run from the police. I would turn them in. A lot of people probably think thats mean, but honestly if you really loved the person you would want the best for them and running from the cops is never a safe idea lol...you would be better off admitting you did something wrong than running and hiding for the rest of your life. Plus I wouldn't want something like that to happen again, which is another reason why I would turn them in.
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
hi kristyleann777, yes, haha! running from cops is never a safe idea indeed! I will also choose not to hide him from anyone, because it will not give me peace of mind in the long run. Thanks for responding! Happy Lotting!
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
It is a very painful situation for a mother to watch her son being shot at, even though he was shooting back (that is even worse). Learning your very own son has done something so wrong that he can't possible turn from it, is already agony on its own. How much can a mother take of these pain, is probably how much she loves her son, and in this particular situation, she loves her son to the point of limitless pain. I cannot blame her to feel this way for her son. That is her own emotion. We cannot dictate as to how much she should feel. We were not there when she raised her son and we were not there to see how her son grew up. It was in the news that he is a former military man who has seen combat in Iraq. Many things happened that could have led him to become the guy that he is now. That is probably how her mother thought of Ivler. So, anyways, I guess I'm just saying she is in a very sad situation. It is just important for us to take note of lessons such as, too much of anything is bad.
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
hi blueangelwrites! Yes it was all over the news (local Philippine news)...I was even surprised that her son entered "show business" on '97. I have been watching TGIS back then but never realized that "Bullet" (one of the character on the show) was him. Certainly, we cannot dictate her on her life choices...she raised her son and she has the right to decide what's best for him. It was just so sad to see the whole scenario (the shoot-out incident, Ivler on ICU, obstruction of justice case for the mom) ..it's indeed a very sad situation. thanks for your smart response! Happy Lotting!
@besthope44 (12146)
• India
3 Apr 10
Well this is really touching, i feel mothers love is unconditional love and at same time needs to be a good citizen to abide by the law. Well i feel true love needs to fight for the son through law rather to hide from the truth!
@sknsknskn (393)
• India
23 Feb 10
i dont noe..........
• Philippines
13 Feb 10
People are generally good, they make mistakes, and they should be given the benefit of the doubt... One can never blame for doing what Ivler's mom did... If I'm in the situation of Ivler's mom, I will never do that, it really reflects the wrong kind of love towards her son. And, the more story told, it can slowly explain the reason of doing such. But, for one mom, you can never be sure what you will do in situations like that. for me, my better idea, instead of doing what she did, was to bring her son to the Police and preventing what happened to her son and to agents hurt during the raid...
@ainee82 (618)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
I think that everything has its limits. On this case, this mom loves her son too much. But I think it's wrong. As a mother you have to teach your son some values and morality. Letting him know that every action has a consequence. She should have just gotten her son into custody during the first incident -- the accident. If that would have happened, then maybe just maybe Ivler wouldn't have been able to allegedly kill Renato Ebarle Jr. I think this is a work of fate to correct what should have happened. If he still gets away from this mess, he will still find it one day in his life. Life is fair. Things will always happen to keep the balance. A mother should know that once you tolerate something wrong, then there's no good that will come up from that. I just hope that Freddie Aguilar will stop defending his sister too. It doesn't look good with his image. I mean, he talks about peace in his songs. And not to mention his ever famous song "Anak" is sooo perfect for Ivler!
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
21 Jan 10
A mother's love does go along way. I know mine does, but when they do something wrong they need to pay for it. I do not think I could support my children, if they killed someone. I know they know that this is wrong, they are still my sons and I love them. But I can not support them on this. Have a great day.
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
First of all, the "love" she portrays in this situation is "crooked love". If you love your son, you need to teach him responsibilities and to stand up for all the corrupted actions he has done. This is not the kind of love that a mother needs to show her son. Simply put, this is not "love". If you love him, you must show him the correct ways of living in a society where law of God and man exists. Shame on you, Marlene. Shame on you, Jason. Both of you must pay the consequences according to God's law and of men.