Is it wrong to tell your boyfriend or husband about your weaknesses?

United States
January 19, 2010 7:43am CST
Once when I was talking to my friend's boyfriend he gave me an advice. He told me that in a relationship it is more important for a girl to be stronger. He also asked me never to reveal my weaknesses to my boyfriend/husband if I want my relationship to be smooth. Does anyone know its meaning? We couldn't finish our conversation and that is why I could not ask him the reason. And now my friend broke up with him. So there is no way I can reach him. But what he thought me left in doubt. I just want to know what happens if we tell our boyfriends about our weaknesses.
15 responses
@abhi_bangal (3686)
• India
19 Jan 10
I would not say that it would be completely wrong, but in fact it depends on what weakness you are exposing. If you are exposing too much of your personal life, I think that it would not be a good idea. After all even if you are married, still you have your own space and this space should be respected by each and every individual. If you are a husband does not mean that you should have a peek at each and every thing that your wife does. Secondly, if you think you might get humiliated at times, even then it would be a right choice to keep the things upto you. What wrong would it be to do so? There are some things which I have not exposed to my wife even after a considerable period of our marriage and I think I am doing no wrong. One more thing, the term that you say weakness is a subjective one. What you may call a 'weakness' and have kept it unto yourself, I for one, might feel that a trivial thing. So, it is upto each one to decide what things are our weaknesses and what are the strong points. Fourthly, it also depends on how your partner is. If he/she is a considerate fellow, there is no harm in telling about what your weaknesses are. If the fellow on the other side is mature enough to understand the importance, there is no harm in exposing. May be he can give you a solution, who knows.
• United States
20 Jan 10
Your explanation is making things clearer. Once a friend told me that it is not right for a girl to tell her boyfriend that she was cheated before. In fact, it is not right to let him know about past relationships in details. Otherwise, it will have impact on the current relationship because the boyfriend might behave like the ex's, making the history repeat.
@kezabelle (2985)
19 Jan 10
If someone can not love you for you and I mean the whole you both strengths and weaknesses then they are not worthy! My partner knows everything about me he loves me for the person I am he admires my strengths and helps me through my weaknesses maybe im just lucky but I would never settle for anything less, i want someone who loves me for me and accepts me for the person I am anyone else is not worthy of my time. Anyway it seems not to be a problem him knowing my weaknesses we have been together over 8 years have two amazing little girls and are getting married at the end of april this year.
• United States
20 Jan 10
You are right. Even my mom and dad share each other's every bit. I don't see why a person shouldn't. Relationship is based on trust after all!
• Malaysia
23 Jan 10
Nah as a guy, I actually would like it if my gf opened up to me. Its called honesty and trusting one another. Besides, opening up to your partner lets him/her know you're human lol
• China
22 Jan 10
Hi,divineathena,I always believe if a man really loves u ,he will accept everything u have,virtue or evil.If u hide ur weakness from him,he will know one day,only a matter of time.Just be yourself.I believe if the man is ur true love that's nothing to hide,nothing to be afraid.Have a nice day and take care.
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Sometimes men tend to make it their advantage the weaknesses of women. In this way, men use those weaknesses against women. However, I don't think there is a problem telling men the weaknesses of women because we all have our own weaknesses. Sensitive can immediately see the weaknesses of women no matter how much women try to hide it.
@jenn_ley (13)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
telling your boyfriends about your weaknesses is not a good idea, because someday, it will be used against you for a break-up. don't you think its much sexier for him to think that his girlfriend somehow can manage all obstacles with confidence!. so if you have a problems with your weaknesses. try yelling your friends about it! but never on him. that's what i learned from the relationships i had before. but on marriage side, i don't know, i haven't been married yet. tho im trying to apply it with my dads baby. we are not together but we are still with each other. and it works!
@esjosh (915)
• India
20 Jan 10
Yes. According to me one should never focus on the weaknesses, rather it's better to focus on the strength only. But what I think is disclosing your weaknesses is the biggest weakness. So if some one is suffering from this particular weakness, I can just wish him/her to get well soon.
@EARLZHAN (934)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Well I think it depend upon the situation. Before telling your weakness to your partner you should be aware of the results and consequences that might happen if you take that kind of action. If you think that telling your weakness to your partner will turn out a good result and if it can make your relationship stronger, then doit. But if you think it won't then better haqve to zip you mouth and try to find some other way that can make your relationship stronger.
20 Jan 10
i think if your in a lasting relationship you have to know weaknesses about the person. you have to know everything about the person. in order to love someone you have to love them for their faults as well as their strengths.
@clouds0327 (1390)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
We are not perfect and that is human nature. I think there is nothing wrong with letting your partner know what your weaknesses are. If they love you they will accept you as who you are and also accept your weaknesses. They are not perfect themselves I think it will also make them feel good if someone accepts them for who they are.
@rosgill (45)
• United States
19 Jan 10
If he truly loves you then your weaknesses don't matter. Women are strong in many ways and so are men, but in relationships when there is love nothing should matter. Don't go spilling your life story to a man you have only just started dating but if you are in love and this is the guy you want to be with the rest of your life and he feels the same, then you both should be honest with each other, no secrets, be open and talk. Relationships are often destroyed over the lack of communication as well as marriages.
@apgh09 (514)
• United States
19 Jan 10
Hi divineathena, I guess it depends on the trust of the relationship, because in one way it can backfire and another way it can be a help and support for each other. If your relationship is built on full trust, love and open communication than there is nothing that you should have to hide from your partner. If you express your weakness to each other it's that person's duty as a friend, lover, and mate to uplift that weakness so that both of you can be strong together. That is the problem with relationships we hide things, or we expect the other person to be strong and that is not a healthy relationship. Now on the flip side the only reason why I would think that this person would tell you not to reveal your weakness is if your relationship is not secure and your mate is a vindictive individual and use your weakness against you to manipulate you in some way or another and that my dear is defiantly not a healthy relationship. So it also depends on how well you know your mate whether or not you feel comfortable talking to him about your and his weakness together to see if you can support one another or use it against one another. That's for you to know and decide.
• India
19 Jan 10
In my point of view,it's right thing to to tell the weakness to husband,because if after you told means it's happen in wrong side so you should tell the truth before to your husband ,if you told before ,the problem should not come so you should tell the weakness before to your husband that's good to you in my point of view.
@Hazelrose (2185)
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Hi divineathena,No,for me i am open to my husband and he knows about my weaknesses.We both knows our weaknesses as a human.Happy mylotting.
@etioewe (143)
• Mexico
19 Jan 10
well he has his own reason, but that does not matter it all depends on him. please i would not advise that you take his words, some guys actually dont know what they really want in a woman so they say all sort of things. the truth is with your husband you have to be plain and be true with yourself if you want to enjoy your relationship with your husband mostly if your husband is true to you or you love him to be true to yourself. the problem of relationship is all the un sincerlty every where. the true instance of a relationship is to be with someone despite thier weakness or thier strength, and helping each other emotionally, mentally e.t.c. someone who says you should not show your weakenss is only a joker. this is my opinion but i know there are other views but i believe being yourself in a relationship and in marriage will make you free no matter what happens. keep being you.