If you report a myLot discussion, do you....

@Wizzywig (7860)
January 21, 2010 8:11am CST
If you find a discussion which offends you or you believe to be a guideline violation, do you have the courtesy to be upfront and tell the person your reasons or do you just skulk off and report it? I dont have any problem at all with having discussions deleted but, if I have missed or misunderstood something in the rules I would welcome the constructive criticism so that I dont make the same mistake again. How about you?
5 people like this
24 responses
@jb78000 (15178)
21 Jan 10
i only report extreme abuse - and i wouldn't particularly want a vindictive type to know immediately. if they asked somewhere else i would be honest but i wouldn't see abuse and say i am going to report this. i would just report it. it is usually trolls anyway and they will be deleted entirely. with minor rule breaking i perhaps should report them but all i do is add a comment saying this is breaking the rules and leave it at that. judith
3 people like this
@jb78000 (15178)
21 Jan 10
are you bored lamb?
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
21 Jan 10
i think thea will be back soon.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
21 Jan 10
yep, thought you were missing her. awww.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (64068)
• Italy
21 Jan 10
Most of the times that I report I also leave a response informing of the violation with a copy/paste of the violation concerned and a link to the Guidelines too. This means a lost point, lost earnings as the post will be deleted but I often gain a friend so it's worth it. In the case of polls and repeated topics, I only leave a response if the user who posted the discussion is what appears to be a new user. Sometimes I even send a PM if the user concerned is on my friend list. It's tedious at times as we should ALL read the Terms, Guidelines and FAQs and sometimes when helping out we waste our time aa others are not always bothered with being made aware of them but I have done it like this for a long time now and will continue to do so.
3 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
That sounds like a very fair and constructive way of dealing with it
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
22 Jan 10
I know what you mean.. Genuine members whom do not know about the rules genuinely can be seen clearly than repeated abusers.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
21 Jan 10
Hi, Wizzywig. It is nice to tell a person if they are violating any guidelines in myLot. It is best to tell them kindly at their discussion. Or of they are a friend of yours, then you can tell them by PM. That way, they won't feel so ashamed.
3 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
You are obviously a kind person and sensitive to the feelings of others
2 people like this
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Jan 10
Hiya Wizzywig, I really don´t know but if I find one offensive I just ignore it and pass onto something else. No I would´nt skulk off and report it not that I would´nt feel a bit narked. I have come across a couple of discussions before like that and I thought well to each his own and that was that. I would welcome constructive criticism too but not so that if you answer then they starting batting back at you with the same line of conversation without even listening to your view of things and this happens too.
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
I suppose "offensive" is somewhat subjective since we are not all offended by the same things. You are quite right that some people will not even consider the views of others.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Jan 10
Hiya Wizzywig, Yes they will just keep on ranting and ranting to themselves about themselves there are none so deaf as those that don´t want to hear? I have known a few of those close ones and not so close has anyone else must have done they are all over the place. It would be a bit like talking to the Daleks they only ever listen to themselves and repeat the same words over and over. I miss the Daleks though they have never heard of them here the Spanish People I mean.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
hahaha... yes i suppose they are like Daleks..just staying on the same track and ignoring everything that tries to divert them
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3505)
• United States
21 Jan 10
I always tell the person if I am about to report them before I report them. I think its just better that way and I would rather someone tell me, if they are going to report my discussion. I think especially if it has something to do with mylot guidelines, it would be good for them to know what they did, so they don't it again.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Yes, I agree that its best to explain guideline violations
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
if i have violated a rule, i would also like someone to notify me first before they report it to the admins. 'Coz I'm not sure it the admins would tell the violator the reason on how or why they violate a rule. Also, at least in that way, you have already corrected on your thus preventing others to notice or report to admin.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
22 Jan 10
Good points janyphrose
@lazuardy (152)
• Indonesia
21 Jan 10
Of course, because in myLot is the arena of discussion, I would like to get comments from other members, regardless of its contents,. Both comments were in the form of criticism or suggestions. But all should be base on norms of life, ie good comments, not insults, rude comments, insulting religious, tribal or not racist, Despite scathing criticism, I still can accept.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Exactly, criticism does not have to be in the form of insults or an attack on the person.
@lazuardy (152)
• Indonesia
21 Jan 10
Indeed, a good criticism is to be polite either, especially not offensive attack with words. But it must be remember, not everyone can accept criticism, and generally so. Well for this kind that can lead to a war of words that can appear insult, event to fight.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Again, you are quite correct. We may start out trying to offer friendly advice to someone and end up causing them great upset and be on the receiving end of abuse.
@Bloggership (1118)
• Indonesia
22 Jan 10
I never report mylot members even sometimes they actually did offending me... When i saw they breaking mylot guideline, i just warn them not to do that again because all that they have typed here will be waste if mylot remove them...
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
22 Jan 10
I'm sure the majority of myLotters would appreciate that
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
21 Jan 10
Hello, Wizzy. Yes, I always tell people I'm going to report them. If it's a new member, I'll usually say that what they've posted is against guidelines, and they should read up on things so they don't make the same mistake again, but I won't report it in the first instance. However, recently someone responded to this polite warning by saying it was none of my business and it was a good discussion, so I had no compunction in reporting them. I'll always report people for plagiarising and duplicate discussions, and I tell them I'm reporting them and why. At one time, I was a bit concerned about reprisals, and whether my reputation would suffer, but now I get so mad when people copy from others and debase the quality of MyLot that I don't worry about that. As far as I know, I haven't been reported - if I have, nobody's told me. Like you, I'd like to know, so I could avoid the problem in future.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
There are always some people who won't be told or feel that they have to get defensive but, if no-one tells you, you're gonna do it again and keep getting deleted I s'pose.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84155)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Jan 10
I don't really report discussions unless I see blatant plagiarism (ie copying somebody's discussion) or obviously deliberate nasty behavior. And in those two cases, I don't see any point in providing constructive criticism. In the first case, how can the person not know they are cheating? And in the second case, I guess I don't think they deserve the courtesy. If I were in the business of reporting discussions that were guideline violations that are less egregious, such as repetitive discussions, one liner questions, people trying to get referrals, etc., if they are new people, yeah, I would tell them. But if they were oldtimers who should know better, I might just assume they did know better and not say anything.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Yeah, I think there are probably different tactics for different situations.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (4778)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
21 Jan 10
I don't, or at this point have yet to report a discussion. However, if you keep to the rules, you should be fine. I don't see any reason why you would have a problem. You can find the posting guidlines under the tabe labeled "mylot". I would advise you to read them every so often to be sure that you are not in vialotion of any rules. This will keep your discussions posted.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Thank you for your advice - which I have tried to follow since joining a couple of years back. I have, in the past attempted to respond to discussions and, having written my response, by the time I've hit submit, the discussion has disappeared or someone has tagged it as being a violation. I check the rules and often fail to see what the alleged violation could be - so, I feel that it would be helpful for the reporting member to point out what the problem was.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 10
It depends. If I think the discussion is a violation of the guidelines, then I will let the person know that I think the discussion will be deleted and why. I will also leave a link to the guidelines, so they can verify and hopefully re-read the guidelines to better understand them. That does not necessarily mean that I reported the discussion, depending upon how obvious the violation was, but I so leave a message when I report these types of discussions. If the discussion is plagiarized, though, I will not leave a message, but I will report it. The poster of the discussion obviously knew that they copied the material from another source, so I do not feel the need to inform them of this or tell them that it is wrong. I will never report someone for plagiarizing, though, unless I can produce a link to the original material or discussion.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Yes, there are different levels of violations I think. Something like copying others original material or being abusive/offensive are more obvious.
1 person likes this
21 Jan 10
If it's someone who is new or accidentaly violating a guideline I will leave a response explaining why it's a violation so that they can see why it will most likely end up being deleted. But if it is a serial offender who ignores all the explanations and advice then I have no qualms about reporting them without telling them what they did wrong.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Yes, that seems a fair way of dealing with it. Anyone can make a mistake but, if someone obviously knows they're contravening the guidelines they dont need telling.
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14332)
• United States
21 Jan 10
I never really report my lot discussions. I leave that oh so dubious task to others. However, if I did, I would be up front about it and the reasons why I would be reporting it. I would hope that others would extend the same courtesy, but I know better. However, I do not report, others can do that. If you do, do point out what is wrong, because even though a person might have read the guidelines, there is always a chance that they might have overlooked something. Help them help make this a much better discussion forum.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
I have only ever reported anyone once on this site and I know I wasn't the onlyone to do so on that occasion. The poster was very abusive and offensive to named individuals and blatantly didnt care.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 10
To be honest I don't really bother with reporting discussions unless they are maliciously aimed at another member here. Some of the time I will indicate that in the guidelines it says not to do this etc, but Im not much bothered by them normally.
2 people like this
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 Jan 10
Yes, I think its the malicious or offensive ones that need removing most and I suppose the definition of those are subjective.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
I think it need not to report it because all discussion that have a violation in the guidelines is deleted that I why no need to do something but wait for those misguided discussion of comments...
@Wizzywig (7860)
25 Jan 10
Yes, you are right, there are measures in place to deal with the violations.
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
Yup, my friend...
• Canada
23 Jan 10
Hello Wizzywig, Im quite new here still. Before I started posting, I read the guidelines and the rules, but I couldnt quote them if you asked me. No Im not blonde lol. So I do as best I can, dont insult anyone, im not a racist, Im quite open minded and to me, any subject is a good subject. I did get an email the other as I was going to reply to a post and I was told it was deleted. Nobody said why, was it something "I" said or was it because of the person who started the discussion......I dont know. So it would be nice if they would tell us what it is that was done wrong so we dont do it again. Im not here to play cops, Im not here to memorize the rules and regulations. Im here to read what other people from all over the world have to say on any subject. Im here to also have some fun as some of the discussion sure are funny. Life is too short for me to play cop. If I wanted to be a cop, id be wearing a badge and driving really fast with the lights and siren on full blast!! I sure hope I havent offended anyone now by speaking my mind....if I did, well just PM me and I'll say Im sorry. :) Cant wait to have some smileys lol.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
23 Jan 10
Thanks for joining in Bubbles & welcome to myLot For what its worth, I think you have come into in with exactly the right attitude... it should be fun, friendly and informative. (Driving fast with flashy lights does have a certain appeal tho ) have a good day.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Jan 10
Wizzywig, I like the driving fast with flashing lights LOL. Thanks for the warm welcome!!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
22 Jan 10
I will most definatley tell that person what i think and how i feel. No one will know if they offended anyone, if no one tells them straght. We are all friends here, so if you did something wrong sort it out. It is not nice to get someone in trouble, especially if it was unintentionally.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
22 Jan 10
Quite agree with you saphrina
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 Jan 10
Thank you, but now i have this problem. Everyone will now think i am a NINNY. Just kidding. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
• United States
22 Jan 10
I have posted in a response/comment that I was rating the discussion negative(-) this caused nothing but insults from the posters friends and was accused of bragging. So I have learned my lesson that some people get HIGHLY OFFENDED if you dare to try and be open, honest and upfront. So presume by that type of reaction means that you do not mention it. However I do not skulk but I do not like or appreciate being insulted for my courtesy.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 10
Forgot to add that the discussion was deleted so the discussion originator and his/her posse all lost their earning!
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@Wizzywig (7860)
22 Jan 10
No, you should not expect to be insulted for your courtesy and honesty. No-one likes criticism really but sniping back at the person who pointed out a mistake is an inappropriate reaction. Glad that poster had their discussion deleted!
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
22 Jan 10
Hi Wizzywig, hope you are doing fine. Normally, when I see a genuine mistake, I'll point it out gently or through private message, so that the user will not be offended. But for those really light comment, I won't send a private message. However, for repeated abusers, I will not tell them, since I think they know the rules by now already..but normally when I come back again, the discussion will not be there anymore. So I suppose someone has reported it already.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
22 Jan 10
That seems to be the way that most of us think. I think there will always be a few who will deliberately flout the rules and others who feel that they have a duty to report without warning. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
24 Jan 10
I certainly think your analysis is correct. There are always people wanting to go the extra mile and cross the boundaries, while there are those that stick to the rules and etc. Well-said..
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@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
24 Jan 10
I've never reported a discussion, to be completely honest. The main reason for this is that I try to stay away from the discussions that are clearly a guideline violation and I don't think that because a discussion personally offends you is not a reason to report a discussion. Now, if I was to stumble onto a discussion that was clearly a violation of the guidelines, then I would probably be the person that was kind and tried to explain to the poster why it was a violation of guidelines.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
24 Jan 10
Yes, I think that you can sometimes see from either the heading or that first sentence that a discussion is sailing close to being deleted. I agree about the ones that we may be individually/personally offended by may not have the same effect on others.