How to help a person

I don't think you are interfering at all. I think that you are a great mother and your son should realize this. I just saw alot of things going on in my family so my comment was due to that. My grandmother once opposed the relationship between my aunt and her husband. Her husband has a darker personnality than the girlfriend of your son. Nonetheless, my aunt was deeply in love and they got married eventually despite my grandmother disapproval. As time has passed, my grandmother had no choice but to accept it. Later on, the father taught the children that grandma was a very evil person who tried to separate them. As a conclusion, they cut their ties with grandma.Her husband was someone manipulative and phony, framed my family in situations where the authoroties were involved and tarnished the reputation of people with disgusting gossips. He even forbid my aunt to meet my grandma since 3 years ago and we will never see her because she passed away and he closed the coffin just to get at us. This was a little off topic but just wanted to tell you from this that if your son is obedient to you, you should continue to make him understand. On the other side, if your son is more stubborn and such, he will think that you will be interfering him. Just make him clear of what your purpose is and you being owrried for him. I don't have any children but I hope this can somehow help you in what your have to do with this situation. My mom said that if I am a good daugther who listens to her, she won't have to repeat over 3 times the same thing and that if I am still stubborn, she said that i will be responsable for myself. When she tells me that, it's like a warning to m and I think twice before rebelling. i hope everythign will be better for you and goodluck

Thank you so very much for your kind advice. I will take on board what you have said. Families can be very complicated things I know my son is old enough to make his own decisions and i will take a step back and observe it from afar. I will be there if and when he needs me. Lots of love theskerne xxx

Hi there. My son has come to me with this problem himself but i knew this before he came to me its there for all to see.I think many people think i am interfering as some of the comments made.But i have alway been a caring parent and whether they are 3 or 23 this makes no different. Some parents could not care what happens to their off spring. My son has worked very hard to get where he is and has told her she need to start to do things for herself and contribute in the relationship.

The only concern i have is for my own child, Yes i do have concerns over his chosen girl but it does not matter how old they are you still look out for them and that is what i will continue to do. She has had many people talking to her including my sister. So if you think i have not done enough to help then i am sorry for that. My son has worked very hard to get where he is. Some of your comments are not understood another words i do not know what you are talking about. I am not the enamy as you seem to portray in your comment i am very much there for them both. She comes to see me every week, all i want for them is to have a good life and be able to contribute to life and society

theskerne, As what you've posted and I quote: "But she makes excuses and says things like ive tried all that i get bored and end up leaving..." It really sort of painted you being meddlesome and as such I am of opinion that you take a backseat since you've already done enough. Besides, she's already 24 years old, surely she should be able to know what she has to do and ought to do. And, I just do not think giving excuses here and there, would mean that she understands and/or appreciates what you are doing. I am sorry if you have found any offense in my post as I really meant well and not what you have perceived. Take care and have a nice day.