Do You Think Drinking Alcohol Is A Sin?
January 26, 2010 6:36pm CST
I have mixed feelings about alcohol. I do drink it but not to excess. It was a different story in my teens and early 20s but I was never a "binge drinker" and there are certain drinks I have not drank again since I became (either) aggressive or tearful many years ago. I tend to learn my lesson!However, my brother was an alcoholic for years. He got involved with a girl he shouldn't have got involved with. Subsequently, they had a baby boy, Thomas (the only good thing to come out of this relationship) but my brother became more introvert and the mother was the opposite. She was the binge-drinker. He became an alcoholic. For years. Six years ago (when Tom was 14) his Dad suddenly decided he didn't want to drink alcohol anymore and I believe him when he says he hasn't touched the stuff since. Tom's mother, however, is STILL a binge drinker and STILL lives in the house..but tends to use it as a base as she's hardly ever in it. During all this time both of these drinkers had good jobs...amazingly, they still do although my brother is awaiting a job evaluation meaning that his money will decrease, but he does do "foreigners" at weekends to supplement his income. The binge drinker has worked in the Civil Service for a long time so is on good money. D'you know something? Neither of them are interested in the house itself. Never have been. Despite my brother not wanting to drink anymore he's still not interested in spending money on his house. I really cannot understand his mentality. My Mum asked Tom how he coped with the cold weather and he said, "I wrapped myself up in my duvet cover to watch TV." Why should he have to do this at 20 years old? Why is it acceptable? Tom drinks but (thankfully) doesn't like drinking too much as it makes him ill. Fortunately, he is not following in the same footsteps as his parents. Can anyone out there share some stories with me as I'm so confused as to why coming off alcohol hasn't really changed my brother's behaviour, as expected. After all, he did say he stopped drinking "for Tom."
2 people like this
27 Jan 10
Hello, Janey. It sounds to me as if your brother is seriously depressed, which is hardly surprising under the circumstances. He is sharing a roof with someone he no longer loves and who obviously cares nothing for him. He probably just can't motivate himself to do anything. If Tom is 20, he could help here. Is he close to his father? Could you or your mother chat to him and suggest he offers to help his dad with jobs around the house? It would give both of them something to do together, and improve the situation. Your brother needs an ally in the house, and Tom is the only candidate.
• Carlisle, England
27 Jan 10
Hiya Sandra! Well, when Tom comes round to see his Gran on a Sunday she does ask him about the house, etc. He always says the same thing; "Dad is too tired because he works so hard." What can you say to that? Work is keeping Danny from drinking, there's no doubt about that and because he's tired he can sleep soundly without having to drink first (he used to make insomnia an excuse for drinking but eventually it was the cause of it) but Tom does have an incredible "network" of friends and family around him. His Geordie cousins live just down the same street as his Gran...and his Gran's is, literally a few yards away from his house. Danny likes being on his own, Tom likes being with his friends (especially at Blackpool Football Club, somewhere he's been going to since he was 6) so he does have interests outside the home. I once made a comment when Danny came to my wedding "do" and said that he could "do the house up" but he just smiled at me, that was it! No idea what he was actually thinking...and he's always been like that. Mum likes to do his washing because it's her way of getting him round so she can have a good look at him. If he was drinking again he wouldn't be able to hide it from her. Then he comes round on Sunday for his dinner...along with Tom and they do get along miles better than they used to. I think the house has become a big joke to them really. It seems to be a base for all three of them; not really a home. Too many bad memories I suppose. I wish I had the house though, it'd be a palace by now lol. I told Danny that as well. He smiled again! I can't win!
27 Jan 10
Good suggestion Sanda. Janey, maybe you and some of your brother's friends could get together and maybe re-do the house for him as a gift for all he's been through....just a suggestion. It might not be a good idea but if he knew he had your support in this instead of have you always ask him when its going to be done....it might show him that he DOES have all of your support?....just a thought!!
• United States
27 Jan 10
Having a drink or two is never a problem, I think. However, having more than a couple of drinks at a time, leads to trouble. And quite frankly, for most people, it is never a couple of drinks. It is always one more drink. Then another drink and then it snowballs from there. I never really drink but I know people who do and in fact overdo it. It is depressing as the health risks are obvious but yet people still do it.