Should a woman have to ask a man for money?

United States
January 30, 2010 12:34pm CST
My friends are here and we are talking. Tameka says,I should ask Tim for money. I feel I should not have to. We were living together over 8 years ago. We broke up and I moved to Miami now we are back together in Ny. He and I don't live together but if I even ask for a soda I never get it. Now mike is here saying a man should just offer to give her money. I don't plan to ask tim for any money. But,if valentines day comes and I get nothing we have problems. I took good care of Tim when we lived together I bought all his clothes etc. I never got anything from him ever. I need to pay $350.00 for a deposit on a apartment in Va and I need to pay $100.00 to hold the apartment for me. I need help with this. Thanks for all your help here. Have a great day.
5 people like this
20 responses
@DOLLYBABY (2536)
• Jamaica
30 Jan 10
lol my husband also name Tim.I personally don't believe a woman should ask a man that she's with for money,he should know it's part of his responsibilities to provide,support and take care of her.i use to be in the same situation like you before i met my husband am i got tired of it and walk away..end the relationship, every time i would need something i would have to ask him for,sometimes i get excuse and when i do get it it's never enough to do what i wanted it to use for.man like that at no point of think they could give a woman money before even think of asking.that guy your with seems like a mean and stinchy person not even to buy u a soda.you wanna know something also i use to had to buy birthday gifts, Christmas gifts and appreciation gifts for my ex when we were together and when my birthday came i never get nothing from him not even happy birthday.i am really happy i met Tim cause he's different from all the other guys i met and know in my life,he's kind and i never had to ask him for money or anything for that matter,sometimes he would have the last dollar and gave it to me,he always had made sacrifice for me.he's a man worth keeping.i don't like men who doesn't treat your women well,like pampering her and so forth.it's just pointless to be with someone who does give a $h!t about.that is not kind...doesn't appreciate you even for the little things you had done for him.well girl i wish you all the best and hope he comes through for you on valentines day.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I do hope he brings in this door a dollar store teddy bear if that's all. I will not stay past V-day. Thanks so much
1 person likes this
@DOLLYBABY (2536)
• Jamaica
31 Jan 10
it would be nice if he could actually do that because the prize of the gift shouldn't matter but the thought of it is what really counts...by the way your welcome. have a great day!
1 person likes this
@DOLLYBABY (2536)
• Jamaica
31 Jan 10
lol instead of prize i mean't cost!
1 person likes this
@carpenter5 (6786)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I have to tell you that this man sounds like a leech, and you should RUN as fast and as far away as you can possibly go! Does he not work? Is there a medical reason why he can't? It sounds like there is some emotional attachment here, and it is hard for you to stay away from him. But, it also sounds like he has it all figured out that you will support him completely while he does nothing. Ask him for money...or ask him to leave. You deserve better sweetheart!~
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 10
He works everyday and most long nights as well he works for a furniture store. And he has his own moving business. Thanks
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 10
So he works two jobs, including one that is a privately owned business, and yet he pays none of the bills. Are you seeing where this might be just a bit one sided? What does he do with his money? Does he purchase groceries? Insurance? gas for the automobiles? cleaning supplies or hygiene products? Or does all that fall to you as well. Honey, I am a pastor's wife, and I've seen this too many times in our ministry to even count. And my advice is always the same. That is not a real man! I hope that doesn't anger you, but a self-respecting man does NOT sit around and let the female pay for everything. I say again...RUN
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I have no idea what he does with his money. He pays for his car insurance I am sure. I am going to just slowly pull out of this for more than one reason. I am moving to VA from NY and he wants to move with me. I can't do it any more thanks so much and No i would not be angry about this.
@ElicBxn (59346)
• United States
30 Jan 10
If he's never given you money - you probably aren't going to get it now - he's a jerk - a tightwad jerk at that
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
You may be right about this. My dear LOL thanks
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (59346)
• United States
31 Jan 10
probably a leach too considering what he did while you guys were together - run away - run far away
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 10
Your so funny LOL I asked him to help me pay for a moving truck. I will have to wait to see if he ever helps me. Thanks for the laugh
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48821)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 10
Well if he was a decent Bloke he would offer to pay it for you My B/F has just paid my deposit for my Flat to be held for me that I will be moving into and he did that without me saying anything at all, but because I am on disability he knows I can not afford it so he has paid it As for the Bond Money and first Months rent I will be ok because I get my Bond money back from here So I would say don't ask him unless you really have to but he should be there helping you out
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
can you believe he wants to move with me. I can't do it
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48821)
• United Kingdom
31 Jan 10
I hope you have told him know and stick to it
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31030)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Hi gifts, It would not hurt to ask Tim for some help seeing as the two of you are together. You could treat it like a loan and pay him back. Another thought is to check with your city welfare. Many times they will offer help on deposits for a place to live. They will want to get paid back but it would be in small payments and no interest.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I am moving out of state so I have to pay the cost on my own. The state paid my security in this apartment as well. Thanks
• China
31 Jan 10
If you love him, and he love you too, I think it will never be a problem. as a man, provide his woman money is very sensible. but it is not necessary. If he love you very much, I think, you will not be disapointed.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 10
I understand that thanks so much.
• United States
31 Jan 10
Men like Tim (This sounds odd since my mother's boyfriend is named Tim too) irk me a lot. Why? Because they can make the same amount as women, yet hide it all and expect the woman to pay for everything. Thankfully, not all men are like this. Here is my suggestion. Find yourself a job. As a waitress, a customer service representative, telemarketer, sales person, whatever you can find that won't make you feel demeaned as a person. Save up your money and pay your bills yourself. The worst thing that could happen is you don't get the apartment while you're doing this. But that doesn't mean another apartment won't come along. Learn to rely on yourself and be strong. And if necessary ask close friends for help and advice. Don't let Tim hold you back by making you think you need him. You don't. You have two working legs, right? Learn to use and them walk. I wish you the best in your choice.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I am on ssi and he knows this. I am not going to get a job till I go back to school. I don't ask this man for nothing for or around my house. Not even to pay a phone bill. He wants to move with me to VA and he can't buy me a soda he is using me and I need a back bone bad. Thanks
@abitcurious (1423)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
would this be like a loan or something? I don't want to complicate relationships with money matters but that's just me. If he knows about your situation and he hasn't offered any help til now, chances are he doesn't want to help you out. I mean, you two know each other for a long time now so there shouldn't be any question about you being insulted by his offer of help, right?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I would never borrow money form Tim. he gets everything from me and never had to pay me back. I need help to move and he wants to move with me. But,the burden is on me. I will move by myself. Thanks
@kaylachan (4779)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
31 Jan 10
When it comes to money, I feel a woman shouldn't feel forced to ask a man for money, nor should she have to be afraid to ask should the need arise. Quite often I have to ask George for money, or to pay something for me and most often he does so without complaint. But, there is a certain level of guilt behind the question. Its my personal opinion that women should be independant and shouldn't have to ask for help, (especially with money) from anyone unless they really needed it. Like in your case. It should be okay if you feel you need to to ask him. However, don't let it make you think you're a bad person for asking. If you've done so much for him, he should be willing to give back. Helping you out during this rough time is the least he could do.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
You would not believe all I have done for him. I think getting back with him was a stupid mistake. His father and I live in the same building. I want so bad to speak to his father about this. But,I know tim is very private about his business. Thanks so much
@andy77e (5171)
• United States
31 Jan 10
My guess is that Tim is not giving you money because he's not married to you. He's likely not married to you because he doesn't want to share what he has with someone else. In short, he's treating you like he isn't married to you, because he isn't married to you. I have a female roommate. I don't give her money because she's a roommate, not my wife. We don't sleep together, we don't eat together. She's just a roommate. You know, I hate to be blunt, but this is how I am. From what I've read here, this guy found a someone he can use, and he's using her for all he can get. I think you should ditch him, break off the relationship completely, and move on. Further, next time you should date and marry a good guy, and like Santana says "make it real, or just forget about it", and stop 'playing house'.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
I don't even think he treats me like a roommate. I feel like a walking mattress. Thanks so much for this.
@cutepenguin (6460)
• Canada
30 Jan 10
If he hasn't shared his money with you before, he's unlikely to start now. To be honest, it sounds like money goes one way in your relationship. If this is also true of other things in your relationship - if your convenience is less important than his in everything - you may want to reconsider the relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
yes I know what I have to do now. I am just waiting for V-day to see if he gets me a card or a dog biscuit.
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
30 Jan 10
He should give you money because he is suppose to help you out. Otherwise that is just mean and selfish of him not to give you money. You deserve better like a man that will be happy to give you money and will not keep it to himself. My daddy always gives money to my mommy when she asks him because my daddy loves my mom.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 10
i did ask him for the money. i need it by may so i will see.
• Philippines
30 Jan 10
it depends , sometime it should be when this is necessary . it doesn't matter if you are in a relationship you become as one . so if a woman needs a money the man should give it .
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
Thanks so much
@dreamnishu (1254)
• China
30 Jan 10
Yes a woman can ask a man for money. But it's not compulsory. If a man need money then he can also ask money from any woman.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 10
Thanks
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
2 Feb 10
I don't think that a woman should have to ask her man for money. Not today, not yesterday, not ever. With my husband and I, we have a great agreement. He makes the money and I spend the money. It works out beautifully for us. He works during the day and I want to take away the responsibility of making sure that the bills get paid, so I do all of the bills and also make sure that we have food in the house. I know where every dime goes in our family.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Feb 10
People should not be afraid to ask eachother for things, if they are comfortable with eachother. This does not depend on gender. My husband and I are both on various government benefits. His American benefit pays twice what my Canadian one does. I can usually make it to the end of the month paying my share of the bills, and still having money leftover for myself, but occasionally something comes up and I need to ask him. I ask simply to let him know that I need it. His offer is "if you need anything, just let me know." He always gives me what I ask for and I never EVER ask for more than I need. I rarely need that much, and I don't take advantage.
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
You know this reminds me of my Turkish friend, his x-gf asked money from him because she fixed her car and my friend is liable to pay it. She was asking for 500$. I would understand if she wanted to borrow but she was just all pain in the butt and asking for it... She even said that my friend doesn't care about her, which I think my friend doesn't have any business about her anymore. For me I don't see any reason not to ask money from a man, especially if you are in a down situation and you have no one to run to. Ask money, but meaning you borrow the money cause you are in an emergency situation and promise to pay it later. However if you are like my friend's ex, that's a different story. If I were my friend, I wouldn't even dare to talk to her and even care. She's just to bossy and brat.
@cperry (147)
• United States
31 Jan 10
I am a big believer in independence but everyone comes across situations where they need to have help and support from someone. If you are in the need of help then of course you should ask for it. It would be nice if he just offered it to you, but if you really need the help then you should go ahead and ask for it and make your needs known. Hope it works out for you:)
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
In our country, there are a lot having this kind of situation which is very unfair to a woman. A guy like that shouldn't be called a man? do you agree? He must know his responsibilities before entering in one relationship. It seems that Tim are just being so dependent to your friend. which is also unfair to her because she get nothing from her man. I can say that I am so lucky for having a good provider husband. Happy mylotting.
@cloud31 (5777)
31 Jan 10
I agree not to ask a money from man,but in your situation though your not asking money he should know about his responsibility his good for nothing huh, and if not a responsibility , a respect perhaps, you may want to consider to walk out from where you are now,it may drown you into a pitch where you cannot come out even how hard you will try after you gets into deeper parts.