what do you think about girls who make the first move?

@tigeraunt (6331)
Philippines
January 30, 2010 12:50pm CST
are they too bold? or easy perhaps? do you think it should always be the man who should make the first move? ann
3 people like this
10 responses
• Australia
1 Feb 10
Although I am 73 I mix with mostly young people and have worked (in a voluntary capacity) with teenagers for many years. I consider myself to be young at heart and understanding of issues facing young people. However, in some ways I am quite old-fashioned, especially in regards to morality. "First move" can mean many different things to many people. An enormous amount can be conveyed simply by a smile. In this respect, of course girls can make the "first move" and have been doing so for centuries. Ladies do not need glib talk or actions. She simply uses her (unobvious) feminine charms. She could also make the first move by arranging for a mutual friend to introduce her. If by "first move" one means asking for a date, I believe this is still the man's prerogative and a girl loses a little of her distinct femininity and appeal by doing so. I believe in allowing a man to be a man and I like him to treat me as a lady.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
dear cloudwatcher, i am not sure if there are women who would go ask a man for a date when she has not yet been introduced to him yet. that would be too bold and cheap to do. am sure the man would be shocked. and i agree with you that girls should be introduced by a mutual friend and not directly like she goes to the boy and introduces herself. that is a no no. we expect the male to do the job of doing the first move, so that the female feel she is female. yes, you are right. ladies wants to be treated like ladies. thank you for the very nice response. ann
• Australia
1 Feb 10
I know there are women here in Australia, and I am positive there are in USA and UK who most certainly DO ask a man for a date. Women's liberation or the demand for equality between the sexes has robbed ladies in so many ways.
2 people like this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
dear cloud, honestly, i dont know of any girl who have done it. guess all my friends are old fashioned. ann
1 person likes this
• Portugal
30 Jan 10
It depends on what the first move is... If it's something along the lines of lets get coffee together, I think that it shows that they are independent and self-reliant, and that's a good thing. It's always good if you don't need others to take care of you. If the first move is something like sitting on the guys lap or give him a view of your cleavage and so on, that's just trashy. And this goes for girls as well as boys, if a guys first move is getting all touchy feely,he's an idiot. So no, I think making the first step is a good thing, if it's done tastefully. What do you think?
• Portugal
31 Jan 10
ah, I thought you were talking about a boy and girl that were already acquainted, maybe even friends and were obviously interested in one another. as to going and say 'hi I'm Maryann, let's get to know each other', I find it very inappropriate. I don't know why, I just think that it's the guys 'job'. Plus, what if he is not interested and you end up making a total fool of yourself?
1 person likes this
@GLOBALSHEEN (1005)
• India
19 Mar 10
Men moves first.Otherwise nothing works.It is very difficult to know what a woman thinks.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
20 Mar 10
dear globalsheen, you wouldn't believe it but there are women who initiates.i guess they are just very sure of themselves. thank you so much for your response.
• India
17 Mar 10
Hello ann in my society and in my days, normally it is is the man who made the move, girls are usually shy, but things are changing gradully, girls are bold now Bhuwan
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
dear professor, it is nice to feel being treated a girl, a lady, so even if am called old fashioned, i do not mind. ann
• Estonia
31 Jan 10
I don't think it's something terrible if a girl makes a first step towards making acquaintance with a guy. Sometimes it may be her only chance, because the guy may not notice, that a girl is interested in him. But still I think the perfect case is when the man approaches the girl first.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
dear biomechanoid, your last sentence says it. you prefer to approach the girl rather than she approach you. there is a way for her not to look too obvious, that is ask a mutual friend of the boy and herself and then this person introduces the girl to the boy. i think that is much better. thank you so much for your response. ann
• United States
31 Jan 10
I do not have any problems making the first move, and I have never encountered a guy that had a problem with it, either, although usually it is not one or the other of us making the first move but it normally turns out to be more of a mutual thing. Regarding the "first kiss" move, I have had guys ask me whether or not it was alright for them to kiss me. I know that they were trying to be respectful and not offend me, but I really do not like that. I think that it should be a spontaneous thing, and if you have to ask whether or not it is alright, then it probably is not. If it is alright, then both parties should be able to tell by that feeling that the moment is right. When the timing is right, then I don't think there should be a question just a spontaneous act.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 10
You didn't even kiss me first! You have to at least kiss me passionately first!
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• Philippines
31 Jan 10
it will depend on what move they did.if they are too bold and brazen,it is a bit of a turn-off.if it's subtle flirting,it's ok.there are some men who like girls who make the first move.some are chivalrous and would like to do the first move.as long as you let men chase you,they will love it.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
dear coco, i am sure, men likes to the art of chasing women. their macho image are challenged. thank you for responding. ann
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
30 Jan 10
Hi Ann...since I somewhat old-fashioned in these matters and also on the shy side, I would most likely let the guy do the asking out and such, even in these modern times where some women make the first moves in that area. Karen
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
hi karen, i guess it has something to do with upbringing and the culture. have a nice day. ann
• United States
30 Jan 10
I hate the "first move." I wish it was possible to skip it and move on to the second. I don't want to make it because I worry that it will be rejected.... what if I misinterpreted his signals...or what if he wasn't sending any at all....and he really isn't interested in me, that way? But at the same time, being on the receiving end freaks me out too. Even if I am interested in the guy and really want him to make the "first move," when it actually happens, it's terribly awkward. That goes away after it's over but if we could just skip that part entirely it would be better for everyone, I think. Or maybe I'm just neurotic!
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
hello crimsonladybug, i am sure you were brought up the very conservative way. hurray lady!!! i am with you. but being the friendly type, i know it feels very sad not to be able to know someone that you like without asking others to do the introduction. it is more embarrassing if the person you are asking that the boy and the girl be introduced, is someone not very close to you. but times are changing... happy mylotting. ann
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
30 Jan 10
Hi ann, living in Asia, it's often the girl who makes the first move. However, when I was young, and without sounding egotistical, I had many invites from girls for dates. Mike.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
hello mike, i thought girls in the western part are much bolder. its good to go back a few years and recall, right? happy my lotting, ann