do you argue with your spouse about time spent on the internet?

@puppynut (370)
New Zealand
January 31, 2010 2:08pm CST
My husband and I recently had an all out argument about how much time I spent on the internet. I do spent a lot of time on here, about 12 hours a day, most of which while he is at work. Because I have health problems and I;m prgnant I really can't do much else anyway and I prefer the internet to TV. I argued back that he chooses to spend all his spare time on the playstation and watching Tv, so I don't understand that just because I have a different interest it is a problem. I don't get to go out much so the internet is my social life, it's my job and my entetainment all packed into one. I think ideally I'd prefer to have better health and be abe to go back to work and be able to go out more and play sport again. I'm hoping after the baby is born I can get back to better health and play sport again, but I will still use the internet in my spare time. What happens at your house when you use the internet?
2 people like this
27 responses
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Well first off, your husband should know that your trying to earn online...I'm sure he wouldn't mind that, right? As for me, my husband is okay with me going online. Its not really a problem for him if I spend much time online. But it does worry him, health wise.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
31 Jan 10
I'm not on so much that I don't get sleep, and because he is well paid in his own business it will take a while before I build up to the level he will see the amount of time I dedicate is worth it!! Take care of yourself!
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Well at least, your helping out right? Just make sure you get enough sleep though.
• India
1 Feb 10
Dear puppynut, I am 55, married, having wife and two sons. My sons don't argue with me over the use of internet by me but my wife sometimes has a quarrel, say little disputes, when I just go on with my time on the internet, without taking over the responsibilities of the household. Take it lightly, so, because it happens.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
8 Feb 10
Yes I try to find a balance with housework and make sure it all gets donw in a day. But my work is also online so it is upsetting to get hassled about my work. Thanks for your comments. I think it is all about keeping things in perspective!!
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
1 Feb 10
Not much happens. We do share a computer, so sometimes my husband needs the computer to check his email or do work, but because we work different hours, there isn't usually a conflict. Is it that your husband wants you to spend more time with him? Or just less time on the computer in general?
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
8 Feb 10
Well getting to the bottom of it I have discovered it is related to how mch work my husband has on. If he is stressed because he has no work, then I wear it. It doesn't matter he will find something to be dissatisfied about but this week the computer isn't it.! We will figure it out eventually. Thanks for your comment.
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
My boyfriend spend a lot of time in his facebook and it really annoys me. When Im siting in front of the computer and stay there for an hour, he will complain and when he sits and stayed for several hours, there are no words to come out in my mouth. He's being unfair with me.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
8 Feb 10
I used to have a boyfriend that spent alot of time on the exbox so I do understand your side. Hope you can find a balance also.
@visalusha (132)
• Australia
1 Feb 10
Hi, Its really a great topic.I thought of starting it. It happens almost everyday.I spend my time in internet and TV's while he is at work. I don't go to these after he comes from office,but he immediately after he freshens up he need his ipod or laptop. He loves playing games.In my case he don't argue with me for using the net,but I argue with him as he is spending his time completely in the net after reaching home from office. Since most of the men's have been out of home for their work, they have involved themselves in this net to spend their time.Now they are used to it.But now after telling my husband he has reduced a lot.This is a problem in today's world. The interaction between the couples get less and they concentrate on their own work.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Like most things in life nowadys it is all about finding balance. Thank you for your comments.
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
right now i dont have wife but i believe that both of u should have a bonding time after all of your playstation or internet vices..lol.. i guess your luck of time to each other
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Thank You I agree it's necessary to take time out for each other. I think that is what he wanted more of, he just said it a funny way.
• India
1 Feb 10
Hey i have had same experience with my partner other day . The problem with internet is if u like some topic or some articles u become so excited that we forget how time we spend in front of system . Normally my partner complains i spend time on internet rather than with her . what happen recently is internet connection has been cut in my place and i use internet only @ work , @ house i spend time with her
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Yes I have learn't yo spend more time with Him while he's home, you know us women, we are great at multi tasking so I still mange to get a lot done in a day!
• Nigeria
1 Feb 10
Internet is good and interesting.I hope you are spending the time to make money.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Mostly I spend my time in internet businesses, but I do like Facebook games like farmville and Treasure madness, which are a little time consuming!!
• United States
1 Feb 10
My husband has made comments from time to time about me being on the computer alot...then I back it down and eventually I build up my time again on the computer again...but the issue is that my hubby isnt working as much as he use to so the money he brings in is less that it was a couple yrs ago, which is what got me started working online to help out with extra money for the groceries or gas or things that we need around the house, so he has stopped complaining because when it comes to having the extra cash it really does help. I hope that after you have the baby that things do get back to normal for you and you get to be more active. Happy Mylotting.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Thanks very much for al your nice comments!
@Porcospino (18617)
• Denmark
31 Jan 10
My husband and I usually don't argue about the internet. I use it more than he does, but he doesn't mind. He often watches movies on his computer while I am surfing the internet on mine, and sometimes I watch a movie with him while I am on the internet. I am very happy that we don't have a lot of arguments about the internet, because my ex-boyfriend was often angry about the time that I spent online, and he thought that I ought to do something else instead. My ex spent his spare time on tv and games, and I never understood why he couldn't accept the fact that I liked to spend my time online. He even told me that he was going to hide the internet cable from me, because he didn't like my hobby. I often wished that he would just accept that my hobby was different from his own, but that never happened and we just kept arguing about the topic.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
2 Feb 10
Sounds like you have a more peaceful relationship now!! Thats great. My husband seems to be getting over it now. Maybe hes thought about it!
@livewyre (2455)
31 Jan 10
I try not to spend so much time on the PC that it raises the issue, but 12 hours IS a long time... I don't think you're going to have anything like that amount of time on your hands when the little one arrives
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
31 Jan 10
No thats right, which is why I'm working hard now, because I imagine my time to be very illusive for a while!!
• United States
31 Jan 10
Right now, my work is on the computer but someone does not always see it that way. I use the internet to work, expand my education(in writing and for college credit), look at celebrity gossip and play solitaire - in that order. It doesn't really develop into an argument but when I run into problems (i.e. lack of RAM, converting PDF docs or uploading files), he hears me fussing but has no idea as to what it is I am talking about. Not every problem can be solved by buying another computer. :) I don't mind sharing because the web is becoming the place to find work as he needs another job but taking the time to explain things such as profile creation can be frustrating.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
31 Jan 10
Yes I think my husband feels a little belittled by how well I get around the internet, how fast I type etc. I also have learnt SO MUCH for free online, and I used to go to a virtual university which was great!!
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
31 Jan 10
i dont get any problems in my time spending on the internet with my wife because my work depends on it.but if you say the time i spent using the computer,then there goes some arguments with my wife because when i do something i dont stop until i finish it even if would take me until the break of dawn.most of the time my wife would ask me to stop and take some sleep and do ti when i wake up but.but i dont.but still my wife wins in every situation because i have to give anyway since she is right and concerned only of my health so i stop and take a sleep.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
31 Jan 10
Yes my work is on here too, and I like to complete what I', doing, though he expects me to just drop everything! I'm trying not to finish at the same time as he does, but with my social life on here too it often happens after work time. Yes you must get your sleep, it's nice she cares.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
31 Jan 10
George could care less what I do online. As long as I'm not bothering him, he's completely fine with it. Sometimes he'll sit by me and look over my shoulder, and when he does that I close the lid. He doesn't need to be that nosy. Not that he understands much as it is anyway.
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
31 Jan 10
I don't know whether I'd like it if he was nosy. My husband does take an interest but isn't too nosy. Bjealsouecause I don't get out much it's great to heave a personal life online. I think he just uses it in arguments anyway though he did tell me once he was jealous of the computer. lol
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
14 Jun 10
My husband isn't all that crazy about the time I spend on the internet, but I remind him that he spends a lot of time watching TV. When we first met, he thought I was on the internet because I was bored and thought I'd get away from it when we were together more. Little did he realize that I totally enjoy goofing off on the internet and I have absolutely no plans to stop. He's adjusted to it and now that I have a laptop he comments that I don't watch TV with him because I'm on the computer. I just remind him that I could go back to my desktop in the other room and he wont see me!
• China
24 Mar 10
Hi there, we do have sth. in common. Everyday, I have to work with pc for 8hours but never got surfing internet without supervisor's approval. So I still keen on internet at my own house. PC is only thing I can do with at home and I can't imagine the days without a computer. It's not your faults to like surfing internet. However, considering your health, some outdoor sports should be in mind. This is the situation that you are a single woman without a husband. But I got a girl friend I will talk much to her, and that may do me a lot of fun. I enjoy that. I do not quite know your situation, and there is truly something else to do but surfing internet. I am happy to meet you here and very pleased to be your friend! Have a nice day!
@millertime (1398)
• United States
7 Feb 10
I had a similar situation with my (now former) wife. She resented me spending any of my free time on the computer but she would think nothing of spending hours on the phone talking to her friends. She didn't seem to mind if I watched TV or read a book but for some unexplainable reason she didn't like the time I spent on the internet. It never made any logical sense and she wouldn't really say why it bothered her so much. No matter now as we are divorced (do to other reasons) so I can do whatever I want including spending time on the internet. Well, good luck to you working out the issue with your hubby. Hopefully, he will come around to a more reasonable attitude.
• Bangladesh
4 Feb 10
Well, dear madam! I'm not married yet and that's why I haven't got any chance argue with my spouse. But I'm hopeful about not getting any chance of quarreling with my better-half. Because I'll spend time online for creative tasks, not for killing time only. May Allah grant you a happy, comfortable and peaceful life. Have a nice day!
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
2 Feb 10
Nope, Single is the way to be. I can spend 20 hours a day online, or I can go out, or I can watch a movie, or I can watch TV, or I can simply drive to the beach. I can do whatever I please, and I have no girl somewhere bickering at me about it. No whiny screaming kids spitting up all over you either. You pretty much have to determine whether being married is worth is, and then act accordingly. If it is, then you have to argue through these complaints, and find a balance that works for the both of you. For me, I'll just stay single and do whatever I please.
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
2 Feb 10
My ex used to complain a lot that I was always online. When I split up with him, it seemed that I had spent less time online but realized, too that I had an addiction to the internet. I was like you, spending a minimum of 12 hours a day online while working a full time job. Funny thing was, like you, he had other interests. He always had something to do whether it was golfing, playing baseball, bowling league...all kinds of outside interests and friends. He would constantly belittle or degrade my friends and they just stayed away. My life, if my kids weren't around, was on the computer. So how deprived are you going to feel when the baby comes along and you can't spend all of your time online? If it's going to be a hard break for you, you might want to slowly decrease your time on the computer. While our situations might be different, it seems like we like doing the same thing. It was hard for me when my internet was shut off...I'd go visit my niece or sister and spend more time online at their house than I would visiting with them. It was hard to give up and when I realized it was an addiction, I knew I should just start living life 'outside the box'