The full story of the Rs 800 gift!

@sanuanu (11238)
India
February 1, 2010 9:24am CST
If you have been reading out my discussions then you must be aware of the fact that I was in love with a girl in my office and she rejected me. Ofcourse, it is not easy when you not get your love, is it? Now, so just to forget that girl, I have started making friendshipe with other girls. In the process, I have made one good friend and I started noticing that she doesn't like me talking to other girls. One day, I did spend some money on a girl and she came to know it somehow(!). well, that day she didn't talk to me at all. She didn't want to do any talking with me. I felt it very badly and I couldn't sleep the whole day. I was so angry on myself that I went shopping and bought a very costly gift for her. Next day I gifted it to her. She accepted it with grace but I wasn't happy. I tried to tell her that I dont' like her being angry on my talking to other girl as she already has a bf but somehow I couldn't tell her and eventually what came out of my mouth was that "I don't want to be your boyfriend but only want to be your friend!" Well, after that she is not talking to me at all. I don't know if she is expecting another gift from me!
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8 responses
• Malaysia
2 Feb 10
Well, like it or not, you are buying friendship. Friends that keep getting gifts to be friends again can react in two ways, and for not so good reasons too: 1. She accept it. And she'll keep finding excuses to be angry with you, and get more. 2. She doesn't accept it, because she feel like you are buying her. Once or twice would be okay, but more than that, she'll think you see her as easy to buy with gifts. see sanu, the reason we stayed friends because you couldn't buy gifts fr me since we live far away. If you keep buying me gifts, I would rethink our friendship too. Either way, what's her problem? If she's not your special girlfriend, then she shouldn't be in the way of you getting one.
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
3 Feb 10
Well, I didn't try to start a relationship with her at all. It was her decision to be a friend of mine. Well, in that process I felt that I am getting involved with her. As you know that I have been in great great trouble with the relationships, I am really really afraid of starting another one and believe me I didn't try to buy her friendship, believe I didn't. I gifted her because there was a reason behind that. You know that I am not that kind of a guy. Had I been believing in these kind of things then why would I wait till get to age 27 before attempting this!So, when I get attached to her and one day she ignored me and didn't talk because I was treating another girl in the same office, I get restless. I was angry and hence in turn I bought something to gift. Yes, she accepted it and she was happy, here I missed a thing and instead of asking her for a date, I told her that I had her in my dreams. She got angry with me on this thing and then to make things better from my side, next day I told her that I want to be only friend of her. Still, she is not talking to me at all and I guess I should give up too!
• Malaysia
3 Feb 10
whether i or you believe or not believe that you don't buy friendship doesn't matter, because intentions and actions tend to be misunderstood. THe fact is, you buy her a gift, and then you said your intentions to her. So,in this matter it is what she perceive was the problem.
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
15 Feb 10
I think now I have realized where did I make the mistake. yes, she has all rights to think that I was tying to buy her friendship. These days, she is not talking to me at all and I have no problem with that because whatever she is doing is right. A good girl will always do the same thing. What a fool I was! A moment of anger and I spoiled a very good relationship with that girl. I must say that it must have hurt her too! I have said sorry but I don't think that sorry would be enough.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
8 Feb 10
What is the matter with you? Stop buying gifts for women who are not interested in you. Save all that money and passion for someone who wants to be your girlfriend! Do people date via the internet where you live?
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
15 Feb 10
Nah, people don't date via internet at my place.
@celticeagle (121005)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Feb 10
If I did something like this I would be angry with myself also! Are you trying to buy their friendship? Friendship based on materialistic gifts?! Is that real or just what the statement evokes? It is very sad that this sort of thing is going on. I think these girls are acting immaturely and you shouldn't have to buy gifts for anyone for them to be your friends.
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
15 Feb 10
I was not tryign to buy her friendship at that time. It was moment of anger or restlessness which asked me to that thing but when now I think about that incident; I realized that she might have thought that I was trying to buy! If she is not talking to me it is perfectly fine and that is a sign of good girl. I must better not interfare much in her life now on. I know it must have hurt her and I have said sorry but it seems that it is not enough for her!
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@celticeagle (121005)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Feb 10
Give it time.
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Feb 10
Maybe she's expecting that you DID want to be her boyfriend? Which would be weird if she really does already have one!
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
3 Feb 10
This is what making me go crazy as what she wants! Was she expecting me to ask her for a date? then why did she got angry when I told her that I got her in my draems!
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Feb 10
Well if she had any class at all she'd return the gift.
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• India
10 Feb 10
Hello my friend sanuanu Ji, Well, I think 'LOVE' can not be purchased.It comes all of a sudden and with on ejerk.Though we both are kep away miles apart fromthis type of problem.We were married by our parents and never had that chance.I think, one must give sufficient time for any feelings to be developed among others. You have sowed seeds by spendingg Rs.800/-, now you put some pestisides so that, they become plants. But first decide yourself. May God bless You and have a great time.
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
15 Feb 10
Let's see what happens. I have said sorry but she is not accepting it. Yes, I did things in a little hurry and I hope thigns get better in future!
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
3 Feb 10
This girl already has a boyfriend and she is annoyed because you are talking to another girl…WTF? She has no right to be annoyed at you if she is with someone already! I would not have bothered giving her a gift, if she is a good friend she would not care who you talk to. Obviously she has a romantic interest in you and it sounds as though she doesn’t want to dump her boyfriend until she knows you want to date her which is most unfair to the poor guy she has been dating!I would cut my losses and forget about her...
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
3 Feb 10
So, the message I am getting is that whatever I did was foolish act and was wasted! It seems that I will never learn! LOL!
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@savypat (20246)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Are you still in primary school. Don't you have a sister, cousin or mother who could teach you something about women? You need a full blown course. No one including males and females can believe a gift without strings attached. Can't you see yourself in others places? If someone had given this to you how would you feel? You need to put a lot more thought into relationships. I just hope you stop getting hurt, but you do this to yourself. Be kinder to yourself and don't extect to much of others.
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@sanuanu (11238)
• India
3 Feb 10
I know that my parents and sister can't help me out and on the other hand they know that if I fell in love again it will be difficult for me if I get betrayed. So, always they tell me to be far from girls!
@scififan43 (2440)
• United States
6 Feb 10
you realy can't by love with gifts, but I am sure you undersand that. I think that is good she decied to be your friend. that is probley want you could use is some femaile friends right now, I am sure a gf will come latter. She may have other reason for not wanting to talk to you now.
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