Does sexting bother you?

United States
February 3, 2010 10:51am CST
I have a friend, let's call her Theresa. We use to be closer friends many years ago, but now are not as close. To explain, people change over time, while some remian the same immature teenagers. My friend, Theresa, recently found me on Facebook after we haven't talked for nearly thirteen years. So I friended her back in her request to befriend me. I confirmed, because I knew her so many years ago. We have since talked on the phone a few times, and what gets me is although she has some kind of mental disability, she hasn't grown into the adult I hoped she had as my friend. She would start our phones conversations by describing all the men she had been with, and how many times she has been engaged, and how many kids she has from these hook-ups. What saddens me is I think her boyfriends and even soem friends could be taking advantage of her mental disability. I still want to be her friend, but when do you say enough is enough? When does being a friend to someone include separating yourself from them in order to prevent going down the same road. After talking to her, she has sexted me many times with disgusting and pornographic pictures onto my cell phone. In turn, I texted her back and requested she not sext me anymore. I think she took it personal, because now she doesn't call anymore. I think it is just that I am in a different place than her, and I don't find the same things funny. Am I being cruel here because she is disabled and acting like a teenager? Don't I have the right to say NO?
8 responses
• United States
4 Feb 10
'Sexting' is when two people exchange sexually explicit texts and pics. Is your friend sending you dirty pictures of herself or telling you the dirty things she wants to do to you? If not then she is not 'sexting' you. If she is just sending you pics that are supposed to be dirty/funny you are in your right to ask her not to send them. But really if you don't want them, just delete them when she sends them. I really see no harm in sending joke pictures. Before the internet and camera phones people passed things like that around on paper. To answer the original question of your post, No 'sexting' doesn't bother me.
@diyonzi (117)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
friends come and go.. and sometimes the friends you have in HS would not mean they'd still be your friends after HS. Sure you had good times when you were younger but yeah people change.. and you begin to have differences in the things you enjoy doing.. that's normal. Maybe you can try talking to your friend calmly about your concerns so she would know what really bothers you. If she takes it against you.. then atleast you tried to tell her. ;D
@ElicBxn (60185)
• United States
4 Feb 10
That's not really disabled, that's rude. If you have politely said - don't do this - then she can either stop doing it or go away. Apparently she doesn't have anything else to do but sext, so she went away - I would say - "good." Let her go since what you did was ask her to stop doing something and this is apparently the only way she can stop.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
4 Feb 10
Of course you have the right to say no. I think that your friend may better understand where you stand if you talk to her straight. Sometimes people are the way they are towards others because that is all they know. Thus going back to the taking advantage of her disability. Explaining in a very frank manner that the way she is acting is not who you are may do her a great justice. She may be embarrassed by your reaction..assuming of course that she is disabled. You may need to call her and say hey..you are my friend and this is how friends help each other..this is ok with me and this is not. Someone with a disability may require a much more detailed explanation..especially if they have been treated in a certain manner by a lot of different people for a longtime. If this is not something you can deal with..just leave it as it is but if not..then you have to have a plan. Sexting to me is a personel choice..not one for me..but what ever...not to me please..because I'm uncomfortable with seeing a strange tail on my cell but whatever floats your boat if I'm not involved. I'm not a very judgemental person but I have very strong beliefs where I am concerned.
@lugiar (39)
• China
4 Feb 10
It's so complicate to the age of mine,I don't have friend as long as you two and never had such problem,but wish you good luck!
@MrKennedy (1996)
3 Feb 10
I hate it because it just seems so pointless and vulgar. I mean, who knows what kinds of images this person will send you, and even worse, who else will have a gander of them down the line, thus making it seem like you're some sort of creep
@olisaur (1932)
• United States
3 Feb 10
I think sexting is a major violation of personal boundaries; unless you are a p-rn star, keep it in the bedroom. Technology is just advancing so quickly, that people (and parents) don't really know how to deal with it in a healthy way.
@thuhuong (828)
• United States
3 Feb 10
Sexting does bother me as my phone is accessible to anyone who can open it up. I would think that for your personal mental stability you might want to distance yourself from this long-time friend because you both are in different places. Even as you don't speak up about how she talks, it is hidden in the back of your head as a tumor. It's ok to be an adult and break off friendships. I've learned not everyone can be your friend so don't stress on that.