bedroom doors and friendship

Was it in your pre-agreement that you will not be sharing that particular room you're in? And if your rent is exactly divided by 2 and she has her own room, then your reason for locking is a valid one. BUT if there's a particular thing inside your room that you two agreed to share, then you have to compromise or find a solution to the problem. Try to ask her first what is it that bother her about you locking the door. And then talk to her about how you feel about it too. Hope this helps.

Wow, could it be that the privacy you need she doesn't see as I found that being open and living together may mean at times she'll hop into your bedroom and you into hers. As the level of intimacy as friends may be more professional than she thinks and that she may want to sleep in your bed at times. I know roommates who are close enough to do that and it seems like dorming as well but if that's not in your agenda, you should have specified in the beginning when you both started living together. If on the other hand, you're finding out about it now, it's good that you brought up the discussion to clearly be in the open with the issue. As of now, it may be a bit irritating but as all frustrations go, a conclusion will come eventually for the better.

hi abitcurious, you are not being unreasonable at all but your friend is. You have every right to close and to lock your bedroom door at night when you sleep. My daughter closes her bedroom door each night and for all I know she might lock it. She is 16 and I respect her privacy. I knock before entering and i would not get offended if she locked her door. She also locks it during the day when she is at school. I do have a key in case of an emergency but I don't use it. She locks it because she has an older sister who has in the past helped herself to borrowing clothes from her. It is her room....her place to go for peace and privacy. If she wants to lock the door then that is her right. Your's too. It's really too bad your friend feels this way. Why does she care if you lock your door? Does she have any reason to want to go into your room while you are sleeping? I don't understand why it would matter to her one way or another.

You are correct.You have all the rights to maintain your privacy.Even thick friends should have a space left for each other and they should respect that space.Only then a relationship can exist smoothly.As you are not willing to loose her friendship,talk to her kindly to explain your views.If she can't understand,quit the place.

I think that you do nothing wrong~ It's your right to do anything you like except illegal things in your room~ Everyone has oneself's privacy,if my friend like to do that I won't say anything about it~coz I need to respect her/his habits,If I don't like the way she/he is I think I won't live with her/him together~

Hi! well, it is good that you lock up your door when you go to sleep, because anything can happen and it is better to lock it up

well, i lived with my sister (as adults) and we had both locked our doors at times. so i feel that you do have a valid point. what needs to happen is that you both need to rationally sit down and talk about the situation. ask her the 'real' reason she's upset about you locking the door. reassure her that this doesn't have to do with her it's just that you need privacy and so does she. this seems like a petty argument so there must be something else that is bothering her. figure that out then find a common ground solution.

You are right, she is wrong...

Hi, abitcurious. You have the right to your privacy. No matter what! Is this friend of yours homosexual? I mean she wants to be around you a lot.. I don't blame you for locking your door as you would go to sleep. Your friend needs to let you have your privacy because you are entitled to it.

Your friend is being quite inmature. You have every right to lock your bedroom door if you wish too. You pay your part of the rent so she has no say in what you do in your bedroom nor does she have a right to say anything about you locking the door when you sleep. Maybe she is afraid of feeling alone and with you behind a locked door she is feeling both alone and afraid.

Hello abitcurious, Well my point of view is that yes, you're allowed to your privacy. Sharing an apartment with someone doesnt mean you have to share everything in your life. You might be friends, but for this reason, she should understand that friends let friends live. I would do the same, I would lock my door when I need some "me" time. If she's angry with you for it, maybe she's sort of "into" you?? Why would she be so annoyed by you locking our door like a wife would be with a husband?

I think privacy is very important to us. we need a personal space to do something.and need a quiet for sleeping.You need to talk with your friend,anf told her why you do that.If you are really good friends I think she will understand you.

I had a similar situation with my roomate in college, I guess everyone living together has a bad period once in a while - it's normal. From my experience the best way to resolve any problems or doubts is to talk. Most of the arguements start because of a misunderstanding and a simple, open talk gets everything out in the open. It might be uncomfortable or awkward at first, but that one talk is much easier than going on for days without communicating, or keeping something inside and feeling bad, angry, sad ... and then in the end you have to have that talk anyway! So the best thing is to do it right away. Most of the arguements are some silly little things that get blown out of proportion as time passes ... and the more time passes the problem gets bigger.

Everyone has their own privacy.I will not interfere in other 's privacy,of course, there are some things I do mot let others know. I am surprised why She would be unhappy? Dosen't she lock the door? And why her reason for? Try a good communication , and explain.She will understand you if she is your good friend.Ture friends will not care about such thing.

Hi Abitcurious Living with a roommate/housemate problems with privacy do arise at times. Having experienced it myself I know that when I had 3 roommates I always locked my door...just because I paid my share for that room and if I wanted to be alone I could do just that. No one took it personal which is what your house mate is doing. Now as she said she grew up in a house where the doors were never locked...that is all fine and well...but maybe you should explain to her that she is now an adult living on her own...and she can make her own rules now..and if she or you wants to lock doors.its nothing personal...and its perfectly okay with you...

How would she even know you lock your door unless she's tried to come into your bedroom uninvited? You two are roommates, not a couple, and she should respect your privacy. It is unreasonable for her to feel she should have access to your room, it isn't a common area of the house like the living room or kitchen - it's YOURS. She is being unreasonable and if you want to lock your bedroom door then go right ahead.

Well you have your rift to your privacy. She has nothing to do with you locking your bedroom door. She also has privacy and can lock her bedroom door. I think you two will make up and your friendship will be stronger.

If you really value the friendship with this person then you should tell them that you lock the door out of habit or that it helps you sleep and that there's no offence intended as a gesture. Ask her why it is such a big deal and also try not to show that you are pushing her away. But be firm and stress that you may have a private life behind closed doors and it would be selfish of her to want to be included in that.