Do you ever wish you hadn't updated your facebook relationship status?

By Leca
@lecanis (16664)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
February 5, 2010 1:04pm CST
This was my recent experience: I'm still in the process of getting a divorce, but I've been separated for almost a year, and I finally started dating someone! So my new boyfriend (who is a bit younger than myself) immediately goes on facebook and updates his status -- which sends me a message to confirm and update mine. I do so... and within a few minutes, I have a flood of people asking me questions about the new boyfriend, poking around on his profile trying to find out things about him, and generally being nosy! I'm not really that private a person in a lot of ways, but it really surprised me how much of an impact such a little thing had. Has this ever happened to you? Do you mind when your friends and family pry into a new relationship?
5 people like this
9 responses
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 10
Nothing like that. I did get a note from a long ago boyfriend wanting to know why my My Space profile said I was single. I just never finished setting up my profile.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
5 Feb 10
Haha! I'm sure that would happen to me as well! I'm not all that active on the social networking sites, and my facebook status mostly got updated because it actively sent me a message when the boyfriend updated his! Sounds like a lot of room for misunderstandings!
• Canada
5 Feb 10
And then theirs me ... Miss I have to be on Face Book Every day! I mostly just log on, go to the Save A Dog app, check out my friends statuses quick to see how their doing, change mine if I feel like it, and then I'm gone again. I usually don't stay on for too long ... with having a 3 year old and a 4 month old time is gold for me now a days!
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 10
If I ever got into the apps, I'd be doomed. Not enough time in the day!
2 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 10
I'm sooo glad I'm not on facebook. this story sounds like highschool, lol! Good for you for having a boyfriend. Brava! It's no biggie if he is younger than you! Just have fun , you deserve it.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
6 Feb 10
Thank you! And yes, very much like high school! Hehe, he's a nice kid! :P He's 7 years younger than me, but he's really good with Dusty, and it's not all uber-serious or anything. Plus... he's a gamer-nerd like me!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 10
That's fantastic. Have fun. Not everything Has to be serious.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Feb 10
I have had a similar experience on Face Book happen to me as well! After having my daughter on October 7th, she got added in my profile under children. Then floods of messages, comments on my wall, etc poured in along the lines of thanks for telling me you were pregnant, it's news to me, etc, etc. Which I think is total bs because like any happy mommy to be I posted about ultrasounds, doc visits, and of course my count down to my c-section date. Smells like a little bit of bs to me!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
5 Feb 10
WoooooW! I think maybe they just weren't paying attention and wanted to blame you! lol that or they all expected personal messages or phone calls, but who has TIME for that??? Especially if you have a lot of friends! I don't have my son under mine, I don't think. Weird. I should go do that. I do have his picture up there though. Mostly I play stupid games on facebook, honestly. I can't seem to resist them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Feb 10
I agree, they probably weren't paying attention and just wanted someone to blame! Oh well no biggie, I got over it . Face Book does have a lot of fun games. I am on every day because every day I go to the Save A Dog app and help raise money for shelters and get dogs cups of food . BUT that is all I really have time for now because I my oldest is 3 and my youngest is just about 4 months so I don't really have much time to be on the computer as much anymore!
@soulist (2986)
• United States
5 Feb 10
There are times when I do regret it. My boyfriend's ex went to my profile to see what kind of person I am or whatever, then went to my other sites, she basically stalked me for a little while and tried saying things to him that were so outragious that it was funny. Her family did the same thing. As far as his friends checking me out i didnt mind and my friends asking about him, they really didn't do that, other than my best friend.
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
5 Feb 10
That sounds like a pretty crazy situation! If anyone stalked me on other sites, they'd find a lot of weird things... but I can't think of any of my strange interests I haven't already mentioned to my boyfriend anyway! It wouldn't really bother me much if his friends were checking me out on facebook, but for some reason it bugged me when everyone I knew checked him out. Mostly because my family is bad about nitpicking anyone I'm involved with!
@soulist (2986)
• United States
5 Feb 10
It would bother me if my people would be poking around his profile too, I mean they know they would meet him at some point in time. I had one friend check his profile, my best friend but that was because she is very much protective of me.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (5853)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
I never had any incident like that but there was a time when my girlfriend and I quarreled and she hid the status and until now she hadn't reveal it again. It had a very negative impact on me as if we were going to separate because of that sign but she told me that she only hid it and never deleted the said status
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
7 Feb 10
Wow, that sounds a little silly, to take her status away though! It's weird to see how facebook and other such sites can be used to convey how we're feeling without actually saying anything at all!
@donna22 (1120)
6 Feb 10
I can see it from both sides because on the one hand if you put anything on the internet you have to be prepared for questions but on othe rhand, people should have some respect. It is one thing to ask in apolite way about your new boyfriend but asking questions that have nothing to do with them etc is maybe going a bit too far.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
7 Feb 10
Those are both really good points! And yes, there gets to be a point of too much nosiness, but I wouldn't have minded simple questions like where I met him or what he's like or whatever. lol
@MimiRemo (420)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
Changes in relationship status do cause quite a stir for some people. It's good when they do that because they simply support and care for you. But it's a different story when it's already out of nosiness. I do mind when people keep on asking unnecessarily about my relationship, it's like why can't they just take what's already been told and leave some things private...so my status has been set to "it's complicated" ever since. Hehe!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
7 Feb 10
Lol that sounds like a good way of looking at it! Mine was 'it's complicated' for a long time because I was still working out the end of my marriage, and that got questions too though! (Which I suppose it would, really.)
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
6 Feb 10
I think my relationship should remain between between me and my partner. Quite often I'll set my status as far from the truth on purpose so that people will generally leave me alone. I don't like leading people on, therefore I'm not going to do it. So people leave me alone if I announce I'm married or something like that just to keep people away from me. I'm not privite by any means, but I believe in having a personal life.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
6 Feb 10
That's a very good point. It's really not everyone's business. Having a personal life is an important thing!
@chaime (1153)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
Hahaha... Sometimes, we do wish we haven't updated anything.. hahaha.. My experience was I updated my status, my hubby and I had a little squabble and we fought and I typed in my status about what I'm feeling and many of my friends messaged me and asked me what was wrong and stuff and I was shocked coz I actually was just really venting, so I had to appease everyone of them, explain and well, I found it funny but humbling and amazing that they all rallied behind me ready to support me. Like you I really am not that private a person, but of course sometimes it's disconcerting when people, even those we do love and care for, pry into our lives and sometimes annoying as well, but take it in stride, you know they just want what's best for you and they are looking at your new bf's profile coz they want to know if he will be good for you. As long as they are not telling you what to do or maligning your new relationship, just smile and let them have a go, satisfy their curiosity who knows, maybe they'll have an insight or two that can actually help you.