when you are at the end of the life road

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you may be curious that why I post this topic, which is very miserable for people to rethink. We are used to all sorts of news on earthquake, fires, gun shots and surely off course diseases. But no matter how familiar we are with these news, we might or might not be truly touched until it really approaches us. I do not have the courage to say it out now until three days later when I read the medical report. I would not believe it and accept any bloody truth until the last moment I see the solid proof. My mom is suffering from serious illness. I can do nothing about it. She is strong but I am not. I can never feel how she is feeling now when one knows that the road ahead is drawing to its end. How does it feel? sense of fear? I am horried by even thinking of it. It's cloudy outside. Inside, my heart is gloomy.