February 9, 2010 3:25pm CST
I split from my long term partner a few months ago, he was breaking my heart for such a long time, felt so sad and lonely within the relationship. It effected my whole world, how i was about me, my family and friends, became so depressed.Though i'm on anti-depressants and do feel better emotionally, i'm still finding the split very hard. Its not being helped by the fact that he is with someone else now, and that he and i have still been sleeping with each other. I feel used all the time i allow this to happen but can't seem to break away from this cycle. I told him the last time that i know longer loved him and didn't want him in my future, I don't mean any of this as i love him with every fibre of my being! I know he doesn't love me anymore and i said it in hope that he would finally walk away from me and allow me to move forward with my own life. I feel happier in my head without him around all the time, my life is more varied and i'm doing so much more than i ever did with him. Yet my heart aches without him, without him i feel empty. I'm an attractive woman, so i'm told and have plenty of offers but i just can't bring myself to start seeing someone new, i know its a waste of energy and of my time so whats wrong with me, why can't i get over this....
10 Feb 10
There's nothing wrong with you. Actually, people just so easily "get used to" things around us. It's just habit BUT all habits, good or bad, can be broken off. What to remember is everyone should live, love, do things, etc. for themselves FIRST before others will do the same for you. You love yourself first before others can love you. YOU make YOURSELF feel better first and in doing so, will have a chain reaction to make others(family and friends/lover) around you feel better too. So easy to say but do what? Here's what you do: 1) exercise---this will keep you fit, in better shape and so more attractive and alive(see, you are doing something good for yourself first, your health benefit and your mind's more alert and happy). 2) start doing what interest you---a hobby, or activity and games, even earning money if that's what interest you. (be an independent person cos that's the most attractive type of person. See, you are still thinking and doing something for yourself, don't keep depending on others, that feels like burden) 3) start doing good deeds---you'll be blessed doing good deeds or helping others.(still thinking for yourself first even though it is helping others. God bless you) 4) start loving others---everything should start with your family. Love your parents, your siblings, and before you know it, you'll realize your heart's a big smiling one. Try it out and your mind will be occupied and your life will start anew again. All the best. CHEERS!