How do you dump someone in the nicest possible way?

Philippines
February 10, 2010 10:07am CST
I know it's kinda difficult connecting nice and dumping, but how can you say it to a very sweet guy that you are not just that interested in him. The situation is my friend has been texting with this guys for about six months. at first his kinda interested with the guy but she is not exactly attracted to him. At first the guy confessed that he like my friend but my friend said that the guy is not really constant in terms with the communication which was a bad thing for her. She plans to meet the guy and say to him "lets just be friends" i said to her don't bring it down to him that instant. You should do it gently by telling him why you cannot be with him. So she asked how? What do you guys think she should say or open up the conversation? The guy is sweet and caring but not consistent. He is sorta romantic not really sure though.. I'd like to know your idea how would you dump someone like that in a nice way
2 responses
• United States
10 Feb 10
There isn't an easy way to do it. There never will be. Especially if the person doesn't give you the luxury of being a jerk. I've always found having a good idea of what you're going to say is key. Delivery is the other consideration. Don't be mean, have the courage of your convictions behind your words. It's a mistake to start things off like a pseudo-date. All that does is send mixed signals. It's not a date. If the attraction isn't there that's it. End of story. If she's just been texting this guy, well, that's not even a relationship. Just be honest with him. It's like pulling off a band-aid. If their relationship is really just based on phone communication I would do it over the phone. Don't waste his time by getting him excited to see her just so she can give him "the talk." I think it's kinder to be direct.
• Philippines
11 Feb 10
I did suggest her just to text the guy about it because it really doesn't need to do it in person but she said its more formal to meet him in person. We have the same point of view its really a waste of his time and really misleading to meet up with him just to dump him. I'm just waiting now how the guy would react or how things will go if she continued her initial plan.
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
10 Feb 10
A smile can dull the pain. If you can somehow execute a genuine smile while ending a relationship, your chances of not upsetting the other person as much increases. Good luck with trying to do this though. There are bound to be questions as to why you want to end it, or if can be worked out with time. Many have tried, but all have some up short when using this someone rational technique.
• Philippines
11 Feb 10
The was her first plan meet up with the guy and smilingly tell him "Let's just be friends". I said to her that is too direct. Hopefully she would not do that directly to the guy.