Do the things you dont say, mean more than the things you do say?

@pandaeyes (2068)
February 13, 2010 8:43am CST
My husbands father died a few years back, he was not really very old but had been Ill a few years so it wasn't a surprise. The family went to see him and he said goodbye to them all before the last day. When he saw my husband he told him that he was more like him than anybody knew. My husband was very much surprised at that statement because his dad always treated him as a nuisance. I think they would have had a much friendlier and closer relationship if only his dad had spoken like that with him years before. I try to always praise and appreciate where I can because who knows when their own time will come? I wonder if we all have things that we haven't said to our family or friends, things we think about them but just never got around to putting into words? You never know when it will be too late to do so. What do you think ? Do you have things you need to say?
2 people like this
8 responses
• India
13 Feb 10
I feel so, many times I feel like telling many things and end up saying just , "nothing". i want to say "I love you" many times but I dont, I think I am shy in nature and hence do not convey many things. Also, when I touched with something, its hard to express me, Its hard to express when I am upset, its hard to express when I feel sad, Its hard to express when I am happy. So in all you can say that I have problem of expressing me. I miss my mother very much but I did not say anytime till date. I miss someone very much and end up saying NOTHING :)
2 people like this
@pandaeyes (2068)
13 Feb 10
ah that is sad about missing your mum. I think mostly people know when we love them but it is nice to hear it said out loud.
@patgalca (14650)
• Orangeville, Ontario
13 Feb 10
My father passed away 4 years ago this month. It was sudden and unexpected. As I talked with my sisters I mentioned that Dad never said "I love you" to anybody. I remember saying it to him years ago after his heart attack and all he could say was "Me too". I know I said it later on (always on the phone) and he just seemed uncomfortable. My middle sister bragged on about how Dad was always tell her he loved her and he missed her and all that stuff. I'm pretty sure it was a bunch of b.s. My other sister was silent during this discussion; my brother didn't say anything either. My father always ended every phone conversation with "Keep happy". That's the best he could do, I guess. He was very loving in every way, just couldn't say the words I guess. I would love to have heard him say those three words to me. I tell my husband and kids I love them every single day. You never know when the end will come for someone and I want my family to always know that I love them. I have told my mother too and she has responded with the same words. I think my brother and I have exchanged "I love you"s, by not my sisters. I'm kind of having issues with them, have all my life (I'm 47, they are 56 and 61). The only thing I would regret not saying to them is how they have made me feel all my life.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I believe that everyone has things in their lives that they feel like they should have said in retrospect that they never took the time to say. For me, I feel like I should have told my father that I loved him more often than I ever did. However, I didn't ever have the opportunity to do that because he passed away when I was fourteen years old. Now, however, I learned from that experience and I always make it a point to tell the people that I care about that I love them as often as I can.
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@MrKennedy (1994)
14 Feb 10
That is a very good queistion pandaeyes For me personally, I believe that is true. Because I have offended too many people in the past by giving my honest opinion, I now just tend to bottle up my true feelings to avoid conflict, and give vague answers like "oh never mind" and stuff like that
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
14 Feb 10
I think if we think about it, there is always more than one way to word a comment. It isn't always easy to say things without hurting people. We even have to choose between people sometimes because one is more important than another and the one who is left out will take offense, but we cant split ourselves in two just for that.
• Indonesia
14 Feb 10
i have so many things to say i want to say, thank you for my mom and dad, my sissters, my brothers i want to say i love you to them i want to say i miss my old friend i want to say i love them all even they make me crazy i want to say i love u to my boyfriend i want to say you're my world to him but because i'm ashamed, i locked my lips for years
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
14 Feb 10
You know ,you can write those things too. In a card,on a cake or a song or poem. It doesn't have to be you speaking the words if you cant manage to.
@gtloquero (271)
• Philippines
14 Feb 10
I am a type of person that is out spoken. As much as possible, from time to time, I say things what I wanna say especially to my loved ones. I don't want this gift of life ends without even saying what and how I really feel for that person. Everyday I see to it that I have told to my loved ones that I love them, I care for them and how grateful I am that they came into my life. And of course, somehow, I believe that "ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS."
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
14 Feb 10
I like that you are outspoken. People need to not be afraid to say what they mean especially to those they love.
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
13 Feb 10
I am really guilty of this. though it's not really a bad thing, I just think that this type of character can still be improved and should be dealt upon. I think it's acceptable to be like this at times but we should also make the effort to at least let our loved ones feel what we cant say. We may not be able to say what we want in words so at least we should assure them through our acts. I know it's really a hard habit to be always vocal of everything so showing them through other means just so our loved ones would understand is a must. :D
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
14 Feb 10
Yes actions are just as good aren't they. My father was mostly a doer rather than a sayer. I think when you have people go all of a sudden ,it makes you think more about what you are leaving out in your own relationships with family.
@dmrone (751)
• United States
13 Feb 10
There are days that i wish i could go back to say things to loved ones who have passed on, just to make sure they know. There are also days when i try to make sure the loved ones who are still here know. You are right, we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and sometimes we forget that. There are things that i should say everday, but take for granted that tomorrow may not come and don't say what i should.
1 person likes this
@pandaeyes (2068)
13 Feb 10
I wish I had told friends how much I valued their friendship long ago. I sometimes miss things like just laughing with someone till my sides ache. People are very precious I think .