your bestfriend's ex
By candyfairy21
@candyfairy21 (2039)
Philippines
February 13, 2010 9:42pm CST
hi there my lotters! i'm curious to see what people think and feel about an issue.... your bestfriend used to go steady with this guy whom she was head over heels with but they broke up sometime ago. you know your bestfriend still feels something for this guy although they have not seen each other in ages. then one day this guy pops up into your life. you became close as you get to know each other. then you both fell for each other... now he wants to seriously pursue you.... would you date your bestfriend's ex????
6 responses
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
14 Feb 10
If I have feelings for this person and I know that it is worth it giving it a try, yes I would go for it.. However if I suspect that all this person is doing is to make my bestfriend sad, or teast him, I would not go for it at all.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
true if it's the real thing fight for it if not don't waste time. :)
@mslena75 (561)
• United States
14 Feb 10
It would depend. I actually was on the other side of this situation...my best friend hooked up with an ex of mine. It felt kind of weird for me at first...but then again I am married and have been for years. I will always feel a little something for him, but in reality I could NEVER be with him...I know him too well!!! LOL She didn't really have any concerns as to how I felt, and as usual, she blew it with him anyway. I think if the shoe were on the other foot, I would feel strangely about dating my friend's ex, but not everyone feels the same. Alternately, you can't help who you fall for. If the friend was really bothered by the situation, I guess it would come down to how important her friendship was to her. Men are generally transient relationships, whereas real friends are harder to find.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
"Men are transient and real friends are harder to find"-- i agree with you totally. Is he worth wrecking your relationship with good friend? after all he was in your past. I had a bestfriend from grade school, we were close and we went through a lot together. i treated her like a sister and i thought she felt the same way too. One day she met this guy in a bar and they dated, of course the guy was introduced to me and i had no objections with their relationship. well, i thought the guy was okay. after 2 years in the relationship I finally saw that he was a brute beast. He was overly possessive and jealous of my friend. In fact one night they had a disagreement because the guy did not want her to see one of our female friend, so he brought her back to our college dorm but she left anyway and met our friend. He found out because he was calling my bestfriend on her cellphone and she turned it off. So the guy came back to our dorm and kept calling her and of course she wasn't answering it enraged the guy because he thought my bestfriend was doing it in purpose. So he threw stones at our window at 12mn! the next day as i was comming home from school i found my bestfriend crying and she said that the guy hit her and locked her inside his house. She managed to find a way out hours later. As a friend I was so supportive of her and even fought for her but in the end she and the guy got back and i was the bad guy!
@zoey7879 (3092)
• United States
6 Mar 10
I have no reservations against this, or a friend dating one of my exes. It can be awkward, but it's a free world and we can date who we want to date. It's our instinct to be territorial that makes us jealous. It's our brains that should tell us as a friend, we should want our friends to be happy.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
of course i will not. just to respect my friend. besides we already talk about it that none of us will accept our ex just in case and if so then she must leave our friendship first. and im glad coz none of us do. frankly speaking i used to have that kind of guy before. his my cousin ex and my cousin has been my best friend since we have the same age. the guy told me that the my cousin just misunderstood why he tried to get near and be close to her, he said he tried to be close to he so she can help him t\for me. its actually me what he wants and not my cousin according to him. but of course i didnt believe him. the fact that he just tell my cousin straight that he doesnt like her and it was me he like. and so i dumped him.
@faimei (127)
• Philippines
14 Feb 10
Definitely not. Because, in the first place, it would awfully be awkward. Second, I know why the ex and my best friend broke up. And third, I would not like to be with someone and be with m best friend, knowing that they had something. Basically, it's no-no.
But if I really have feelings. And it's really a considerable amount of feeling that I have not experienced with somebody else then I would have to do it right. I have to make sure that they have a closure. No one feels something for each other. Make sure that my best friend is really OK with it. And just take time to assess. Do not rush things in this kind of situations.
@dolphinlady128 (72)
• Australia
6 Mar 10
I would not. First because I know my bestfriend still have feelings for him. Second I value her friendship more than just any guy... There will be other guys, there will be other lovers, but to find another best friend it is hard.
If I did go out with this guy, it will feel too weird knowing that my friend has done sort of the same thing with him sometime ago. And also, this time I wouldnt be able to call her up and chat or talk about this as it will hurt her too much. A relationship without someone else to talk about it to has less excitement :)
BUT if I know my friend has no more feeling for the guy, they broke up nicely and for the right reason etc, and she is okay with me going out with the guy, and I feel strongly about the guy, then its all would be different :)
