Oh my I just can't do any thing without a man!

@Hatley (163781)
Garden Grove, California
February 14, 2010 11:17am CST
This is triggered by another discussion. I was reading it and thinking 'but theres an other dimension to this thing about a woman always has to have a man. That is does a man really want to be married to a woman who is so helpless in everything she has to cling to a man just to barely be able to walk across a room. I mean this is the person whom he wants to bear his children? What is your take on this? Wouldn't it be better for a woman to be able to be more self sufficent? To bring strength as well as love to a marriage and be able to cope for herself when her husband is at work? I think we have to be strong too as well as love someone, and be able to workout problems for ourselves. We should bring independence to our marriage so we are partners not the poor little helpless fluttering female.
22 people like this
57 responses
@floridia (296)
• Algeria
14 Feb 10
god have created women for men and men for women, women can't give away of men neither men can. they are super power together, and very weak to be separated.
4 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi florida yes I know that but also a woman should have more pride in herself and what she c an do for herself, as this will but just make a good marriage better. two people who support each other are much better that a clingy woman who give no support but accepts much and all support.
• Boston, Massachusetts
16 Feb 10
Hey friends, let's be gender sensitive...both sexes have their own unique characteristics. they can live without each other and still be happy with life. it's not a competition of who's weak and strong, who's dependable and dependent---it's a matter of being your own self and it by chance you find a mate then you will be complementing with other and be appreciative of each other's strengths and weaknesses.
2 people like this
• Australia
14 Feb 10
Hi Hatley. First of all - love your new avatar! It is so fitting for you: a kaleidoscope with everything perfectly in place. You have so many facets, but together they make a complete, pleasant harmony. I believe marriage is a partnership as two people work together as one for the betterment of each and the family. We each have our "roles" but they can - and should sometimes - overlap. I can do most things myself, including (note to Lamb) change a tyre on the car. In fact, on the old style motor of yesteryear, I actually stripped down the motor of a Morris and reconditioned it. Don't ask me to do ANYTHING though on the new-fangled contraptions! Looking at things from a man's viewpoint, however, I know how PLEASED my hubby is when I ask HIM to do a small "male" job for me. I honestly think it is a boost for the man's ego when a woman asks him to do a job. Of course, this would have the opposite effect if she did it constantly! (Don't tell them I said so, but I think men are emotionally just overgrown children)
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi cloudwatcher thanks, I had a bunch of graphics I made,and that is one of them. Yes I agree marriage is a partnership and we decided to split up our duties, and myhubby begged me to take over the household accounts, he did them for a short while and oh my,he forgot to pay utility bills and he forgot to put down withdrawals in our bank account, so yes I agreed to do that, he fixed things around the house which really I could have done but he loved to do it for me and that was okay as it made him almost purr to think he had helped me. Yes cloud I wont tell on you but men really are emotionally just overgrown kids, just listen to my fifty year old son and his friend, talking about a car race and making the sounds of a race car like teens when they did it. he he h e. we did have a lot of things we overlapped on , and when he could not work I did go back to work, and gladly, I was the other half of a team after all.
6 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
14 Feb 10
Hi Hatley! I'm one of those independent women that does NOT need a man to make my life complete however, I'd love to have a man in my life but I don't need a man in my life. Let me tell you a story and you have to laugh for it is funny now. When my husband was in the Army, he was stationed in Texas and we had bought our first home. He got orders to go to Korea for a year so I was going to be left alone for the year. One day our toilet in the master bathroom wouldn't flush and luckily I had hubby on the phone and he was telling me step by step on what to do however, he forgot to tell me to pull up on the stopper to flush out the water that was in the tank and proceeded to tell me to take the take out the plug at the bottom and I got water all over the floor! We had a good laugh about that but in the end, I got the toilet to work like it should. LOL That was one incident, there's a few more! One day I was opening the top of the cat box so I could clean it and in those days, the cat boxes had "keys" that go into the sides to hold the top onto the bottom. Well, not thinking, I had set the "keys" on the sink and one of them had fallen down the drain. (leave to me! lol) I got hubby's wrench and got the pipe opened up and stupid me, turned the pipe upside down above my face and splashed water all down the front of me! And no, I didn't get the key. It had apparently went down the drain. The next incident was the riding lawn mower had a flat tire. I didn't have a clue as to how to get it off for it's different from cars so I figured out that there was a pin and figured out how to get it off but to get it off the lawn mower itself was another story. I couldn't find the jack so I got some cinder blocks and it took all the strength that I could muster to pick that thing up (rear end) and set it on the cinder blocks. I tugged and pulled and tugged and pulled and that darned thing gave me hell but it did finally come off. I went and got the tire fixed and came home to put it back on which was a totally different story!! It just would not go back on! Finally, I put my back up against the wall and sat on the floor and kicked it with both feet which knocked the lawn mower off the cinder blocks a couple of times but I did finally manage to get that damned tire back on and of course, there was a lot of cussing going on but I did get it on! LOL Then another time, I had finished a beautiful cross stitch for my hubby because he said he wanted it for himself so I finished it and got it professionally framed so I wanted to get it on the wall but with something that would hold it tight so I got one of those things, which I call a screw with a butterfly thingy that goes into the wall and works like an anchor. Now, I don't know a thing about drills and the like so I tried to change the bit but I didn't know how and couldn't figure it out so I hoped it was a drill bit and not a screw bit so I was slowly drilling a hole into the wall and was going right slow and I thought I was doing alright then I hit the button a little too hard and ZIP! right into the wall and there I had made a huge hole in the wall!! I got to laughing at my self so hard because of all the crap that I had been through and now this, what else could I do but laugh! Crying wasn't going to make it better to I just laughed my butt off!! Then I got some spackle to fix the hole and had to wait a little while for it to dry and then sand it down a little bit then try again. This time I did it correctly and got the picture on the wall. So you see, I'm an independent woman. I don't need a man. I want a man in my life but don't need a man. LOL The other things that happened was, my car had broken down and it was going to cost me $700. to fix. That was A LOT of money back then! Plus, I had rescued a kitten only to have to put it to sleep because it was so sick and I didn't know till the morning I had to take it in to be put down which really killed me. I had helped a friend with a place to stay and then stole from me. Let me tell you, I had learned a lot about myself during that year. I truly did.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Feb 10
Hi catsndogs wow what a year you had. but the thing is when we try and goof we do keep on till we finally get it right. I had things I just could not do and so did my husband so we made a good team too. but I had to laugh when I learned he knew nothing at all about a car's innards. He could not repair anything in a car,while I had the idea all guys knew all the ins and outs of car parts. but he could cook up a storm and often did as it was one of the things he did professionally. I was so glad Ihad worked for years before we married as later on in our marriage he became disabled and I needed to , had to actually go back to work, but I could and did, which was okay with me. He was pretty good at repairing stuff in the house, but we had a son who seemed to be born with screw driver in one hand and a drill in the other, at age 12 He could outdo my hubby at electrial repairs of any kind.poor guy he is now an unemployed very good computer programmer.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
14 Feb 10
Hi Hatley! I definitely agree with you! What man in this day and age would want a woman who is needy and felt that she couldn't live without a man in her life? Women are more independent than ever and most men want them that way! Most men when they meet a woman want them to have their own job, their own place to live and be able to stand on their own two feet! If a woman is too needy and clingy most men would run the other way! My bf was seeing someone before we got together and that was one of the reasons he dumped her! There is no room for someone who can't hold their own in a relationship or marriage anymore! This world is just too tough a place for that sort of person!
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Feb 10
thank you Opal you make me blush. I was responding to another user who has been here awhile. she was really hurt as a young newcomer just literally tore her apart, making fun of her for being old, the woman is only 50 or so, and having boring discussions and a bunch of stuff'I will not repeat, but I did tell her that that was flaming when someone made fun of you in a very insulting way so she did report the person. I had thought that young adults today might be brought up better than to openly insult someone here in mylot like that, it was just pure meanness' and spite. I insisted she report that user and I guess she did too. I am shocked at that young newcomer's being so openly insulting in her response to my friend,. thats no way to treat an older person.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
17 Feb 10
Hatley! You are the prime example of what a "real woman" should be! You are worth your weight in gold and I know that your husband was so proud to have you for his wife! You will always be one of the people here that I will always look up to and I wish all the younger mylotters would take tips from! Unfortunately, they have a whole different outlook on life then we were taught and one day they are going to be sorry! Love you, Opal/Leslie
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 10
I think just as there are women who can't get along without a man in her life, there are men who want women who are dependent on them for everything. There is someone for everyone....the real challenge is finding that person. I have a good friend who defines herself by her fella. She wasn't always like that but in recent years she has become very dependent on relationships to define her. When she is with someone she is really happy but when they break up or even when they are just fighting, she becomes almost despondent, and it makes me worry about her sometimes. I am very independent person, don't like having to ask anyone for help with anything so I definitely need a partner who understands and allows this. I couldn't be with one of those men who expect their partner to be the helpless, damsel in distress type. We'd drive each other crazy!
4 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi crimsonladybug I had worked for ten years when I met my husband to be and we were both hospital workers .we decided we would be partners and that I wo uld keep working until our first baby decided to come aboard. we shared household duties, then when he became partly handicapped and could not work first I went back to nurses aide then because he was unhappy with my working in the hospital, I started working at our local library as a page. He did not mind that..
6 people like this
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
14 Feb 10
I have a friend like this, she can't hang a picture on her own. She is always asking me if I want her husband to come do this kind of thing for me. My husband works away from home most of the time, if I had to wait for him to get things done I would be sitting on a mountain of repair jobs. I changed my own furnace filter the other night and she was totally amazed. I keep trying to tell her that the coy helpless female act only attracts guys that end up being control freaks, but she's lived like this for years and then complains her hubby is a control freak. Most guys will love rescuing a damsel in distress once or twice, but a constant helpless female ends up being the proverbial ball and chain instead of the partner it takes to make a marriage work.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi jewels and garden gerty. both of us wo rked in the hospital and met over making a surgical bed. we were married six weeks later. we decided we were a team, a partnership, and we would each bring his or her own strengths to it. so he would help me with the house work and caring for the kids, then when he was felled with colon cancer I had to go back to work. I was so glad that I knew two different job, so went back to being a nurses aid, then later worked in the local library.
4 people like this
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
14 Feb 10
Hey GardenGerty..we've had a few of those coaching sessions ourselves while hubby is on the road..it comes down to working together to get it done doesn't it? Hatley I couldn't agree more..you take what each one brings to the table and put them together in partnership that works for both of you. If my husband had to worry about everything here at home too, he wouldn't be very good at his job and that could end up getting alot of people hurt. He's proud of the fact I am independent and man enough it never hurts his ego.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I hate these kinds of women! It's 2010. We vote, we have jobs, don't tell me you can't figure out how to fix a sink and you're an able-bodied person. We're firefighters and police officers. We should know how to mow our own lawns. If I weren't in a wheelchair, I would do all of these things myself and would not rely on a man to do all these things for me. I might break a nail, but so what?
2 people like this
• Canada
15 Feb 10
I totally agree with you. The fact that I am physically unable to do a lot of things has to do with a physical challenge, NOT with my gender.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Feb 10
hi cripfemme and danishcanadian we are all in agreement here. and danish just because you are physically unable to do a lolt of things does indeed have nothing to do with your gender at all.
2 people like this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I hate these kinds of women! It's 2010. We vote, we have jobs, don't tell me you can't figure out how to fix a sink and you're an able-bodied person. We're firefighters and police officers. We should know how to mow our own lawns. If I weren't in a wheelchair, I would do all of these things myself and would not rely on a man to do all these things for me. I might break a nail, but so what?
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
14 Feb 10
I maybe a woman but I have the mental capacity of a man. This could frighten or draw the opposite gender to me but as a woman I have never depended on the male species to provide for me. A man called a husband is only important to me to create and upgrade my status to a mother. Other from that I am a strong lady in all departments except probably my physical strength which I surrender as I was framed as a woman so my strength is not as strong as the physical strength of a man.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi zandy most men now days I think rather like the idea of a woman who did not depend on a man to provide for her. both hospital people we met at work, and I went back to work as a nurses aide when the kids were older then when my husband was partly handicapped with a colostomy I gladly went to work in the library. I am not physically strong like a guy but other than that I cou ld hold my own.
4 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
14 Feb 10
I don't understand electrical things and the mechanics of a car but I cna manage most of the rest. I wouldn't expect a man to be able to bake a cake so I could do that while he changed a fuse I feel that woman should be able to have a say in things and should balance a relationship out in all aspects, emotioonally and pratically. I see no reason why the male should have it all on his shoulders. They should not take over just as the woman shouldn't either. It should be a blend, a mix, half and half, neither one relying on the other but sharing. Women bear the children but both should help rear them, not just the mother. Then both the girls and the boys should do the same things in the house while growing up so that later, when they are adults, there are not biased with 'male things' and 'female things'. It all begins at home.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
14 Feb 10
That sounds soooo familiar
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
14 Feb 10
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi diana I was like you about electical stuff and cars, the rest I could handle, as my husband hated doing the fiancial part that fell to me, but I also worked part time, except for awhile when Ihad two children in 11 months. then a few years later I was glad I knew how to work in hospitals as my husband was partly handicapped due to a colostomy, following colon cancer.My son was in his late teens and also worked. We managed okay and I was glad to be able to be the breadwinner in an emergency.it was my husband, God love him, who felt bad because I had to work, so I went to work in the library instead, and that was so much fun, it was not like work as I loved the whole crew,we got along like family. My husband had alwasy shared work with me when the children were little, and he changed diapers, did laundry and most everything else but he refused to wash dishes as that had been shoved at him growing up and he always was the one elected to do the dishes out of his three sibling. I did not mind the dishes as he was so helpful in every thing else.
5 people like this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
14 Feb 10
Hi I can't be a helpless woman and I don't wanna see helpless women as well. Women indeed are weaker vessel but that does not mean we are helpless. In fact God created us to be the helpmeet of our husband. What men can't do, women can. It should be a a healthy partnership. Each one should strengthen one. If our husband can work, we can also do.It does mean having our own job too, but the task of being a responsible wife and mother is the most noble job we can ever have. We should not be over dependent on them because we are not created to be futile and to be sponge all our life. We are created for a special purpose. A woman is a completer. Without us, men are incomplete and for that...we should prove our worth.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Feb 10
salong you are so right. God did make us as a helpmeet and if we cannot enable ourselves to be self sufficent how can we be helpmeets.We sort of completed each other, I could not mow 'a lawn but he could not do the books either so I did our books and keep our account straight and he kept the lawn preety.He helped me with household chores when we had two babies in 11 months and I was so eternally grateful to him. when he became disabled in later years,I was only too happy to be able to go b ack to work to h elp support our family. Being a mom is one experience I am so happy to' have had and when my son comes to visit me now I am even more grateful.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Feb 10
thanks thats a lovely writing from the bible and does makeone stop and think too. I should read it more than i do but at least I do try to live it as much as I can,
2 people like this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
That is exactly what a couple should be! I admire the beautiful relationship between you and your husband. I am just quite sad that he became disabled later. Nevertheless, I am glad that God filled you with strength so that you could be strong enough to handle the situation. Your husband is so blessed to have you and I believe you too are blessed to him! I was so inspired by your examples and this brought into my mind the perfect example of a woman in the Bible. That woman is found in Provers 31:10-31. She is the Virtuous Woman. Please allow me to quote the verses for some inspiration: [b]Proverbs 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength,and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth our her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands And let her own works praise her in the gates.[/b] I BELIEVE YOU HATLEY DESERVES TO BE CALLED ONE THE VIRTUOUS WOMEN OF THE MODERN TIMES AND I HOPE YOUNGER WOMEN SHOULD LEARN FROM YOU. GOD BLESS YOU!
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
14 Feb 10
I think girls should be raised to be self-sufficient, so that when they get older, they can 'choose' to have a man, rather than 'need' to have one. Otherwise the message that they're sending is that they necessarily love their man, but have to have him. That is not to say that two people cannot need each other. We all have areas that we are strong in, others that we are not. Open the hood of a car, I am as lost as my husband is in the kitchen.
2 people like this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Feb 10
Hi Hatley, like your new avatar. I can say I can't agree more. There are roles that people fall into when they are married, but that doesn't mean they have to give up or create a whole new personna for the sake of that role. I think I'm a strong woman. If I can't fix it at least I know who to call. I can't stand marriages where both parties don't know where all the finances are. To me that is spelling danger in a hurry. I think all women want that softer side to come out when they have a partner, but I don't think you have to sacrifice everything you are and let go of who you are completely. I would rather WANT a man around then NEED a man around. I think that right there is the entire difference in a relationship too.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi kprofgames thanks thats my own artwork. yes my husband and I met when we both worked in St lukes and we were married six weeks later. We made a team, he did any electrical stuff but I could do any of the rest of housecare, loved to paint too. Then when he became ill with cancer, I went back to wo rk first as nurse's aide then as a page in the library. He did manage to do a little light housekeeping while I was away working, it was good to know I could help out.
4 people like this
14 Feb 10
A strong YES to that Hatley! Women need to be self-sufficient. For it is only then that she could make the family tree perfectly whole. For some time we might say we need a man in some aspect in our lives especially on stuffs which require more strength like lifting heavy things...On the other hand men need women too in things like giving them children...With this we need to be whole enough so as to supplement which one might lack...And sure enough, a happily sufficient family will evolve...
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi dragonangel indeed we did bring our own strengths to our marriage and we met at our hospital jobs. I did the family finances paying bills and balancing the checkbook while he helped with housework and childcare too. we were always partners, and backed each other up so that nothing went undone or done badly. I went back to work when he was partly handicapped because of colon cancer, it hurt his ego that I had to work,but I felt glad that I had something to do that i could fall back on .
4 people like this
15 Feb 10
And both of you were able to sustain in that arrangement mainly because of a strong committment of LOVE...
@AmbiePam (84650)
• United States
14 Feb 10
One thing that makes me happy to be single at 28 is that I am independent. If and when I get married, I won't be following my husband around trying to gain his approval. I know I can stand on my own two feet, and won't be emotionally needy or lost without his direction. I would hope that a man would be able to appreciate that. I don't think any sane man would want his wife to be completely dependent on him.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi ambiepam I was brought up to think I should know how to work at something just in case I got married and things happened where my husband could not wo rk, good thing too as he was felled with colon cancer, and had to have a colostomy, so I did take over as head of household and it was fine. he disliked it as it hurt his ego but when I changed from nurses aide to library page he did not mind it as much.I think that if both people know how to work at something, the woman brings in strength as well as love, and it helps to make things so much easier all the way around,.
4 people like this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
14 Feb 10
YOu have a very strong point here Hatley, I agree with you. I believe in today's generation, we have a lot of independent, strong and very sufficient woman who are wife and mother!
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
hi yes I think while my mom had no say so in family money affairs as my dad would not let her do any thing, she did teach me how to handle money so when I married a man who just could not remember to deduct the checks from our household checking account, I knew how to handle the f amily finance accounts and not screw things up. I also had to go back to work when he developed colon cancer.
4 people like this
14 Feb 10
hi Hatley, Very good point, my mother had always taught me to be independed, always worked hard and know how to pay my household bill, when I got married, my husband took over the paying of the bills why I buy the house food shopping but now I am unable to work but still pay something towards it, I do all the cooking and general house work while he does the washing, now he is at work all day and most time he warks late so I handle most things, to be honest, he gets underfoot when he is around, I am not a little housewife that depends on him all the time, but I do know someone who is, she cannot cook and has been married for many years, her husband has to come home from work and do all the cooking and everything else, she works partime and then go shopping to buy colthes, wow! what a nice life, but she cannot do with her husband and is very clingy to him, lol! Tamara
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Feb 10
my mom taught me how to do the finances and how to clean and cook and etc. so when I got married finally, I had ten years of working as a nurses aide under my belt and worked until I w as nine months pregnant.As my husband admitted he was lousy in doing the household bills I had to take over so no checks would be forgotten to deduct from our bank balance. I did not mind as he helped me with all the househole chores but dishwashing, as at first we had two kids just 11 months apart. When he became ill I took over as breadwinner, first at the nurses registry then as a page in our local library. loved the job.
4 people like this
@Java09 (3075)
• United States
14 Feb 10
I've been on my own with out a man for my whole life,that's why I like to own dogs.They keep better company,I'm not interested in getting married.I do have a daughter ,but was never married.I don't have a relationship with anyone,I feel I don't have to be with a man if I choose not to.My lhasa apso wouldn't like me to have a boyfriend he's protective of me.I rather deal with dogs anyways.I do all the hard work around here,and if something needs to be moved I do it.I'm definately not helpless.I lived on a farm when I was a teenager and the guy who owned the farm paid me to help him out.I did heavy duty work at that age.I helped unload hay baild ,fed the cows.It was fun.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
14 Feb 10
I agree. No women is suppose to be helpless. Cgange that plug yurself and open that jar. Men are a very handy and luxurious tool to have around, but really girls, wake up and smell the coffee. There is nothing wrong with you, or are there?
2 people like this
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
you have a very nice way of putting it, hatley. a marriage is a union that is basically and principally a partnership, where the two partners share equally in responsibility and grow together strongly to build their family. it is not meant to be an arrangement for interdependence. with one weaker and the other, the weak one would cling to for strength. you know, it's not always the woman who is weak in a union called marriage. at times, there are couples where the man is weaker than the woman and depends on her on a lot of things, including day-to-day survival and living.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Feb 10
hi bystande yes a marriage is a partnership, we sometimes were 80'/230 sometimes 50/50 or again 60/40 but we shared as equally as we could and when cancer reared its ugly head, and my husband was unable to 'work I was so glad that I could go back to work and help my family when needed. He felt badly that He could not work, but I assured him that he would be well soon, and he could take over but for now we needed me to keep our family afloat.
1 person likes this
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
i really don't know how to respond to that. but you're a great woman. you are also a strong and reliable partner to your husband. i could only understand the feeling of helplessness that your husband now have. i, too, have an incurable disease, but i manage to make a comeback, managing the disease with everything i can muster. i cannot afford to sulk in a corner and nurse my despair. but i briefly went into that when i learned about my health condition. i don't know how severely affected your husband is with the big c... but take heart, you can help him come back...
1 person likes this
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
i am sorry, hatley, i didn't realize that your husband passed away already. anyway, being able to talk about it, also takes a lot of courage. you are a great woman, indeed, hatley. i salute you for staying with your man till he ran out of options...
1 person likes this