What is your answer to a man who proposes to you merely after meeting for 3 days
By Katie2009
@Katie2009 (144)
China
February 15, 2010 6:23am CST
This is really confusing and unbelivable to me and I do hope I can find some suggestions here. Deciding one's marriage within just a week sounds impossible to me who has a huge doubt about this offer,which,to me,only exists in movies and fairy tales.
Could it be that easy that a smile determines a life and one's character? I can hardly believe it,however unfortunately I encountered such male.This is one,and the other is that he wants to have physical relationship with me the second time we met. What's more,he would say impolite words about it in front of me claiming adults should not be so conservative and girls should be proud of it? What a conceited man! And he should be a Chritian! Surprising and stunning!
Personally,overnight love happens sometimes due to one's keen insight,whereas risks of unstability also coexist in such marriage. He is rather kind and sympathetic to miserable people,but could I just believe him for only three days. Trust can get me the truth,can't it? Please give me some advice? Sincere thanks!
9 people like this
25 responses
@chocolatelle (277)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
If he thinks he loves you that's why he wants to marry you right away, i'm thinking it's not love but just a physical attraction. just like what you said he wants to have physical relationship with you. It should be deeper than that. How about emotional, spiritual ,etc.? You can't neglect those too in a relationship. Please think about the answer you're going to make over and over again because once you said yes to him you can't go back. Get to know him more. Get to know his background, culture, beliefs and the likes. Give more time for your relationship to grow (1 year i guess). If he can't wait then he's not worth your love. remember, you're going to say yes to the one you want to be with for the rest of your life and will respect you and your family, not to the one who's going to treat you like a servant or some toy. He should treat you like a queen that you are.
2 people like this
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you very much! I cannot imagine how helpful mylot is here now. I'm sure I will not make stupid decision to this matter.
1 person likes this
@chocolatelle (277)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
I'm glad I could help. you take care katie2009! ^_^
1 person likes this
@WiseReptiles (854)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Love at first site is possible but you have to ask yourself the way you feel as well? It is hard to say if he really truly wants to marry you or just get in your pants. Sorry about being so blunt but you did say after the second day he wanted to have physical relations with you. Go with what you think and if you think it is to good to be true than it probably is.
2 people like this
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you for your reply.I think you are right and that is what I a m concerned about
@lucy02 (5016)
• United States
15 Feb 10
That's way too soon. I once dated a guy who started talking about marriage after the second date. He had been married several times and I think I know why. He didn't take time to get to know the women first or give them time to know him. He was unfaithful in all his marriages.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Sorry for the man. He probably would not know in his entire life what kind of woman really suits him. Thank you for the reply
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
15 Feb 10
Hi katie, I think you should take atleast one month to know that person and if he/she is right life partner. In Indian culture its normal to get married after two-three meets. If you are confused please take time and decide.. cheers!!
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you very much. But I am not an Indian anyway. After reading those previous replies,I can almost get the answer
@patms1 (521)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I would run from this man as fast as I could. This guy sounds like he has some very bad mental problems. Evan if "loves happens over night" you still need time to know and understand each other. It sounds to me like he has no respect for you and never will have. You don't say how old you are but if you are young you should tell your parents or some one because this guy sounds dangerous. If this guy really is a christian then he must belong to one of the weird groups that wind up being called cults. Again, RUN DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS JERK.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
I will listen to you. And I will start to train my muscles on the legs from now on. Thank you very much!!!
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you very much. I'm pretty sure about the importance of marriage and the decision. Sometimes I think I need to see more of the world through others' eyes
@beatrizguiselle (1118)
• Spain
15 Feb 10
after 3 days of knowing him... Its either he wants papers, money... Or he is just one really freaky weirdo!
There is no way you can get to know someone in just 3 days... Don´t fall for it dear.
1 person likes this
@katsalot1 (1618)
•
15 Feb 10
To be honest, I would run a mile from someone who suggested marriage that quickly! I would assume that there is something very wrong with him. I do think that attraction is often immediate, but not love. There are so many things that you could not possibly know about each other in such a short time.
1 person likes this
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Knowing someone is definitely more than a smile can do. Thank you for your reply!
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
16 Feb 10
Hi Katie,
During my college days I met someone like this guy. I met him in a party and that day he was all over me. The next day he was at my doorstep and asked me out, to which I obliged. The third day he was offering me marriage, and I was like, are you crazy? Okay, he was financially stable, didn't really look bad, boasts of a good family descent, but other than that, what do I know about his personality? Practically nothing. It was a tempting offer, but I had a good mind to refuse. I learned later on that he has actually asked every girl he met to marry him, because he knows that with the promise of marriage, he can easily get the girls laid.
Think again, he could be a predator. And btw, welcome to myLot!
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
17 Feb 10
In my culture, that used to be the case. However, these days we see young ladies getting pregnant without a husband. Back it my time this is considered unacceptable and a disgrace to the family, but now the society has become more tolerant of these occurrences.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
17 Feb 10
For some reason,our culture is changing toward a strange direction.I am not sure whether it can be regarded as an advancement.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
In our culture,traditonal culture,girls can't have physical relationship with men before they swear on the altar to each other,however,this has completely changed since the economic and cultural globalization. Marriage should be absolutely carefully handled. Thank you for the reply
@chatelaine09 (433)
• Australia
15 Feb 10
Hmmm that does sound a little unbelievable...However I would say NOOOOOO
I would tell him perhaps we need to get to know each other better before deciding whether we want to spend our lives together.
That bit where he says impolite things in front of you,you could ask him to stop because it makes you uncomfortable. If he respects your wishes maybe he would,but if he doesn't that does not sound like ideal husband material.
1 person likes this
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
I asked him not to say the same things again but he didn't stop right way and started to say Im my mom's baby. Well, what can I say? Thank you for your answer. I know what to do now
@deenaly (162)
• Malaysia
16 Feb 10
I always believe that a person who asks for a hand in marriage is an honest and sincere person. However, there are some men who actually have something else in mind. I think one way is to know his reasons of proposing. Direct assault (not literally) may not be the best way, since we can never know how honest a person can be. Try to investigate him. Learn his background from people who know him. Tell him to give you some time to think. Don't worry about not been able to love him; it can bloom after marriage. If after giving some thought and checking the person's background, you still don't want him as a husband, then tell him with words which should not hurt him much. Or, straight away pray to God to give you His direction, then do the above mentioned. If he's the one for, you, you'll know.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you very much. God told me that he was joking. I wish I would not have been to that place now
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
16 Feb 10
A friend of mine made a habit of proposing to woman, he was so full of crap, he told them they were beautiful etc., etc., Only me and a few others knew that by night he Slept in a Prison, because he was a career fraudster. Out on day furough,
You probably would have believed him as well, he heaped on the sleaze too.
Warning Dump him..... Find someone you can trust, because he is saying this to practically everyone he meets.
Oh and he doesn't men a word of it.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
Thank you very much. One thing is kind of sure that he is an MBA,but this is not important. I hope your friend would not know about you saying this about him though
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
17 Feb 10
Yeah he is aware I told him to his face. I also called him a total Loser a waste of space, and a fully paid up member of the Morons Club.
Our parting words were, let me think Oh yes Have a Nice Life! Not that I actually meant it.
People like that need to hear the facts! For that I am unashamed.
I am of Franco/German descent, we don't get pushed around.
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
17 Feb 10
Oh and just in case you wonder. We are def. not friends now!
@thunderbala (748)
• India
15 Feb 10
If you really like the person you can go on.. but try and ensure if he is a good guy and love is some kind of great feel.. if u got any such feel towards that person thats love... you can positively answer if you like him and vice versa.. i would suggest you to not heed to others for this cuz you are the one to decide your life.. good luck..
@kaylayoe (293)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Well, he doesn't seem like someone I would ever marry. You've only known eachother for 3 days? You should know better that this would just end very very badly. And I wouldn't marry him if he wanted to have a physical relationship with you after hardly knowing you. Don't you want a man willing to wait until marriage or at least wait until he knows you? Someone who treats you right and with respect. I don't think trust can get you the truth. What will is dating this man for awhile. Getting to know him. You may think you love him and you probably do but get to know all about him. His flaws, personality, family, past and what he wants for the future. Who knows what knowing those things can change. There is no way you know him well enough just after three days. Even three months isn't enough. Good Luck!
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
A person cannot be known well to me in only three days which I am pretty much sure about it. And by the way,Fellow Mandybeau,I has not been convinced that this is a good idea. Everyone has his or her own thouhgt and your thouhgtfulless answer sometimes can hurt someone severely. Say NO to a person is not difficult but it is wound that is hard to heal. Admitting that love is hard for me is not a joke. Everyone has a right and reason to fight for her genuine happiness,don't they? Thank you for your reply anyway. It teaches me to think fast when encountering such problem again
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
17 Feb 10
Hey, Guys like this one don't have feeling to hurt. I think you have led a very sheltered life, which is a shame, as it has left you susceptible to the type of creep this Guy so obviously to everyone else is.
I wasn't joking I say what I think.
I am unsure about the wound that wouldn't heal, are you having us on this has rather alot of responses and really, as someone said you should have worked it out for yourself.
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
16 Feb 10
i think that he is a sick perv. I can't believe she is daft enough to even contemplate this, has the World gone mad.
Tell her No everyone please. She has convincd herself it is a good idea HEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
18 Feb 10
Well,I didn't say that though,just dragged his name put it on the blacklist. Thank you for your response!
@persona_touch (1701)
• United States
16 Feb 10
I would be shocked cus its like a meet you three days ago and you want me to do what?
@becdmd (704)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
If I would meet a man like that..who proposes after 3 days..of course it's a no-no for me, it's obvious that simply means that guy is only desperate to have you not thinking that you have to get to know each other first, before to get into that kind of level of relationship, for me, friendship should be established first, because it's the foundation of a healthy relationship...saying yes to this man would be risky, you would end up in divorce afterward if things didn't work out as you planned it. So be very careful in choosing the right man...be patient and falling in love should not be in a rush.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
I am very patient at least I think I am. I don't need to run for this since I'm still a student. knowing someone does needs more than 3 days,maybe 3 years. Thanks
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I don't think 3 days is enough to really know a man and be able to really can tell whether he is really a good man or not. I say give it more time and don't rush on things. This kind of decisions needs to be thinked about like a hundred times and you have to make sure that the person you'll be marrying is really a good man, and someone who will respect you and just love you.
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
Good for you! why is he pushing things too fast anyway? ... God bless you too. 
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
16 Feb 10
I told him that I needed more time and he said not too long. I guess NO would be the best answer to him. Thank you for the guidance. God bless you!
@renaissance2010 (249)
•
24 Feb 10
i wouldn't say yes after 3 days! You hardly know this guy. A life of marriage with him could be a big mistake. Plus to say yes this early could seem desperate and like you don't have any other options. I wish you all the best!
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
24 Feb 10
Hmm,it is not like that. I'm not considering this to be a good choice,but wondering the result of saying yes.Thank you for your comment!
@renaissance2010 (249)
•
25 Feb 10
I didn't mean to offend, i was just looking out for a fellow women. I am sure whatever choice you make it will be the right one. I was just giving an opinion.
@mdbanks123 (41)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I think jumping into a relationship after meeting him for 3 days is not safe.You should get to know the person first. Most relationships fail because they hardly know the person before having a commitment.
