What would you do?
By olydove
@olydove (1209)
United States
February 19, 2010 11:58pm CST
A while back I had a bit of an experience and I was thinking about it today.
I've come to realize something but as usually I am curious as to what other people think also. This brings me to my question.
You are on your way into the grocery store, and you look over. You see an obese woman that weighs about 400 pounds trip and fall as she tries to step up onto the sidewalk by the entrance of the store. What do you do?
I have included a picture to show you what "about 400 pounds" looks like.
7 people like this
22 responses
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
20 Feb 10
I would try to help. I am not 400 lbs but I am not 200 lbs anymore either. And I think we should all help each other and stop being so ALL BOUT ME ish.
But even with that said sometimes in this day and age helping people can be a big issue,like what if the person doesn't want help? And also you must take into consideration your own health...I mean you may not be able to help on your own...It is kind of puzzling.
2 people like this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Thanks for best response! 
Stubborn people seem to be abundant lately 
I always run into people who just don't want any help at all.
Stubborn people seem to be abundant lately I always run into people who just don't want any help at all.@olydove (1209)
• United States
24 Feb 10
No problem. LOL gotta love those types right? Here you think you're going to do something nice and help someone out even with the smallest gesture and POOF you get all but told to "F off." They don't even decline politely anymore,.. what's up with that?
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
You've brought up a very good point here,..
"But even with that said sometimes in this day and age helping people can be a big issue,like what if the person doesn't want help?"
You're correct now a days many people don't want help either because they're too embarrassed/frustrated about the situation, or just too stubborn LOL.
Indeed people these days seem to be very selfish and judgmental without stopping to think what if it were them that fell wouldn't they appreciate the fact that even one person might offer to help them up?
Naturally one needs to consider their own health and whether they can or can not help her on their own, so the first thing I think would be to kindly say to the lady "How about some help up?" and if the lady agrees and you know you can help her yourself, maybe walk inside and ask an employee to get some help for someone that fell outside, go back out to her side until she is up and safe. 
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
It is a shame. Who knows maybe this discussion will bring some light to some of those that are the "stand there and laugh" type folks. Sometimes all it takes is one person to say something or show example and people change their way of thinking. But then other times you can set by example 100 times over and the person won't change at all. 
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
20 Feb 10
I would run over to her and see if she was alright or needed help. I don't care what she weighs. I would help anyone that fell, man, woman or child. I do know some people that would stand there and laugh...that's a shame. Gosh it's embarrassing enough for someone to fall down ... in the first place never mind worrying about people judging..!!
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
mari I know exactly what you mean. They stand there and laugh or even turn the other cheek and just go on about their business as if the woman doesn't exist and is not worthy of acknowledging. It makes me sad to think how unsympathetic people have become in the past 15 years or so. It's like we forget how to be compassionate, or even kind when it's most needed.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
20 Feb 10
Oh my goodness this happened to me once when this neighbor of mine fell on ice and she was at least 350 lbs. Me stupidity tried to get her up but she kept falling and I definitely don't want to fall too. I think she must have fallen three times. Then her husband and son came to help but she was messed up by then. I did my best to help but being only about 117lbs at the time I didn't have the strength to pick her up.
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Bless your heart Lelin for at least trying to help her. I can imagine it was quite an ordeal and you weren't being stupid you were just doing what anyone with a heart would do and that's try.
Very true being small yourself there isn't much you can do alone to help someone in this situation. Again though I think if we are faced with this situation and indeed the only ones around to help, I would try to find some object that the woman could steady herself on to help pull herself up if possible. If all else fails call the medics. :)
2 people like this
@MrKennedy (1978)
•
20 Feb 10
What would I do? In all honesty?
Okay, I know many will hate me for this response, but I think I will walk past if there are a load of people about and let somebody else sort out the problem instead.
However, if there weren't many people about, I would ask for somebody to give me a hand (even my massive muscles cannot handle such a load) and help the poor lady.
And yes, I would have a good chuckle about it for the rest of the day
) and help the poor lady.
And yes, I would have a good chuckle about it for the rest of the day2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
First-Thank you for being honest.
Secondly- Well nobody should hate you because of your response. We're all here to discuss things and without a difference of opinion or ones unique point of view well there probably wouldn't be much to discuss right?
Next- "I think I will walk past if there are a load of people about however if there weren't many people about, I would ask for somebody to give me a hand"
You know... I agree with you. If there are already several people helping her then odds are there wouldn't be much one more could do anyhow, but if say one or two people were helping I would ask if I could be of assistance also just so that they know there is more help if it's needed.
As for the chuckle LOL I think as long as she and nobody else was hurt in the situation almost every fall is worth a good chuckle
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
20 Feb 10
At the most I will garner help to see that she is on her feet as I will not be able to do much anyway on my own.
2 people like this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
23 Feb 10
That's a smart thing to do gabs, because it's definitely the safe thing to do as EMT's have training and most cases even equipment to help with heavier people. Though if she weren't injured I might see if some of the workers at the store would be able to come help get her up too.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3571)
• Canada
21 Feb 10
I would immediately attend to assure that she was not hurt. As a first aid attendant, i am bound by law to remain at the scene of an accident until paramedics, id necessary arrive.
If the fallen person said that they were alright, I would summons for help to get the woman back to her feet. naturally being that over weight, she would need assistance getting up.
Hopefully she would still be conscious.
My first reaction would be to get to her side to be sure that she was alright, first and foremost. I would then summons for some help.
@EvrWonder (3571)
• Canada
5 Mar 10
Well thank you olydove for your comment. I agree that it is the only thing to do. You can not just leave someone laying there helpless. How inhumane in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
That's awesome you are a first aid attendant. I personally am thankful for people in your line of work because in most cases those in your line of work are the only help available for many many people in the world.
For you the answer is a bit different than the general public because it is your job/duty to attend to a person, but at the same time what you have explained here is in my opinion exactly what every human being SHOULD do just because it's the right thing to do. 
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
20 Feb 10
Yell for help, because I know I can't get her up myself lol. I am small, not that strong, and have a bad back to boot; so trying to help her up is out of the question. I know that I wouldn't be able to just leave her there, I have too much compassion for that. But the extent of my assistance would have to be calling others stronger than me to assist.
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@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
That's awesome of you. Though if the lady weren't hurt I might refrain from yelling because she's probably already embarrassed enough and that might add to her heart ache. One idea I thought of is that usually heavy people can help themselves up if they have something stable to help balance themselves. Maybe if there is a milk crate near by or even a grocery cart that I can hold still as she helps herself up it would make things easier if there were nobody else around to help.
I'm glad to see the responses here. :)
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@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I probably would have thought of those things if I were actually there. I seem to be a lot better being in an actual crisis than playing "what if" lol.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Oh what do I say? I think that I would most surely laugh and be apprehensive about helping the lady up. After all, she's so heavy and what if she hurts me? But then again, it's so rude and very wrong to laugh, let alone not try to be of assistance. There could be many reasons she is as heavy as she is, and even if there's isn't, I would not want to be so heavy! I would want assistance if I ever was that heavy. I'd do the right thing, which is to help if I could. If I could not then I'd try to ask for assistance for the woman, or if nothing else sit by her and talk to her, of course making sure she's alright, and trying to get her mind off of what just happened. Surely a nice person would come by and help, or maybe several nice people. Either way, someone would surely come by would they not?
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@olydove (1209)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I think many would be apprehensive about helping her for the reason you mentioned, what if they themselves get hurt in the process. It's a good reason to worry about helping her get up indeed.
You are right there could be many reasons for her being that size. She could be diabetic, have thyroid disease, diet, lack of exercise even genetics play a role.
I don't think anyone would want to be so heavy. I've never heard of anyone that is overweight, wanting to be overweight, but unfortunately it happens.
It would be very nice of you to make sure she is ok and seek help for her. As to your answer whether someone would surely come by, from the many responses I've seen here it seems eventually someone would.
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
24 Feb 10
First, I would find out if the lady was hurt or not. Her answer would play a big part in what I would do next. If she thought that she was hurt, then I would call for paramedics to come and help her. I would stay with her until they arrived, if I could. If not, then I would try to make sure that somebody else could stay with her so that she would not be alone. I would also ask her if I could call someone like a family member or friend to let them know what was going on, as she would probably need assistance and a way home from the hospital. If she was hurt and needed attention, I am sure that not only would she like someone to know what was going on but also I am sure that those close to her would want to be notified and be able to go and make sure she was alright.
If she was not hurt, then I would ask her if she needed help up and offer her my arm at the same time. That way, it might not seem like just empty words but more of an honest and helpful gesture. People tend to be more inclined to accept help when they feel that the person truly wants to help rather than just feeling obligated to do so. It is usually easiest to get onto your hands and knees before trying to stand, so I would try to help her get into that position, and then offer her support and balance as she tried to stand. That does not require as much strength or effort as trying to pull someone up from a sitting position, and it is much safer for both parties. If she did not want assistance, though, then I would talk with her while she was getting up just to make sure that she could do it and that she really did not need help. In either case, I would probably tell her of something clumsy that I did to try to make her laugh and not feel so embarrassed by the situation. Trust me, I have plenty of stories to choose from, and I think that laughing would definitely help ease the embarrassment and awkwardness of the situation.
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Man purple I already gave Angie the best answer mark the other day, otherwise you would have gotten it! This right here explains in my opinion exactly what people should do if they were to come across the situation mentioned.
Some very important points you mentioned:
1- It is usually easiest to get onto your hands and knees before trying to stand, so I would try to help her get into that position, and then offer her support and balance as she tried to stand. That does not require as much strength or effort as trying to pull someone up from a sitting position, and it is much safer for both parties.
and 2-People tend to be more inclined to accept help when they feel that the person truly wants to help rather than just feeling obligated to do so.
You've obviously got some experience in this area my friend.
I agree 100% the laughter of someone elses embarrassing moment would definitely ease her current embarrassment. You rock!
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
7 Mar 10
You are exactly right, it's all about stability. For the most part even someone that weighs 700 pounds, if they are active and have use of their legs etc.. can get themselves back up with a little bit of leverage.
People tend to assume that all obese people are lazy and do nothing. That's not the case. I personally know a lady that weighs about 330 and she is extremely active. Runs around all day long doing this, and that and the other thing. Plus she works, and takes care of her 3 grand kids.
As for "I wish that everybody would take the time to put themselves in other people's shoes for a minute and look at things from a different perspective, because I think that if they did then we would be one step closer to having a much nicer world to live in." I say AMEN!
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Aw, thank you for such a nice compliment. It really was pretty easy to answer this question, though. I just thought about how I would want to be treated in this situation or how I would want someone to treat my loved one in this situation. Then, I answered with how I hoped that people would react. If we all did this, then I do not think there would be so much meanness and indifference in the world.
I saw some people honest enough to admit that they would probably laugh and move on or not know what to do. I wonder how they would feel if it was themselves on the ground and someone else laughing at them or ignoring them.
I wish that everybody would take the time to put themselves in other people's shoes for a minute and look at things from a different perspective, because I think that if they did then we would be one step closer to having a much nicer world to live in.
Also, some people were focusing on the weight as a factor. It really is not as much of a factor as people think unless they themselves are physically impaired. It is more a question of balance and leverage. A lot of people said that they could not lift four hundred pounds and they would have to call several people over to help. It is not like they would have to carry her any place - they would just need to give her a little support and help steady her. It would not be any different if the person was thin, frail and eighty years old and only weighed ninety pounds. This person should still get on his or her hands and knees and be helped up the same way. If you tried to pull even a very light person to their feet from a sitting position, you risk injury to both yourself and the other person, especially if the other person has injuries from the fall that he or she did not realize until he or she started to move.
It really was pretty easy to answer this question, though. I just thought about how I would want to be treated in this situation or how I would want someone to treat my loved one in this situation. Then, I answered with how I hoped that people would react. If we all did this, then I do not think there would be so much meanness and indifference in the world.
I saw some people honest enough to admit that they would probably laugh and move on or not know what to do. I wonder how they would feel if it was themselves on the ground and someone else laughing at them or ignoring them. I wish that everybody would take the time to put themselves in other people's shoes for a minute and look at things from a different perspective, because I think that if they did then we would be one step closer to having a much nicer world to live in.
Also, some people were focusing on the weight as a factor. It really is not as much of a factor as people think unless they themselves are physically impaired. It is more a question of balance and leverage. A lot of people said that they could not lift four hundred pounds and they would have to call several people over to help. It is not like they would have to carry her any place - they would just need to give her a little support and help steady her. It would not be any different if the person was thin, frail and eighty years old and only weighed ninety pounds. This person should still get on his or her hands and knees and be helped up the same way. If you tried to pull even a very light person to their feet from a sitting position, you risk injury to both yourself and the other person, especially if the other person has injuries from the fall that he or she did not realize until he or she started to move.1 person likes this
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
of course, the first reaction would be to try to help the person stand up. next, you will ask if the person is hurt. and if so, try to make a call for help. but i think your curiosity lends another meaning to this situation you want mylotters to comment about. i am not sure though what that is. the 400-pound woman is not only obese, her weight is unimaginable. it's not commonplace to see a woman that size everyday.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Unfortunately these days it is becoming more and more common to see men and women that size or close to it, but you are right it is extreme. I don't want to explain my curiosity just yet I would like to see more answers here first but I will in time.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
23 Feb 10
This is true Cardio vascular diseases and diabetes are more common with over weight people. One thing doctors need to be cautious though because in one of my family members case they are blaming everything that is happening to that person on her weight, when that person isn't extremely over weight.
I know obesity contributes to many health problems, but not all of them.
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
indeed, olydove. having extra pounds seems to be so commonplace that diseases related to obesity, like cardiovascular diseases and diabetes, have also risen dramatically. and doctors attribute it to being overweight.
1 person likes this
@Beautyfactor (1512)
•
22 Feb 10
I would simply go up to her and ask her if she was okay, and then ask her if she would like some help getting back on her feet. If she said yes I would go into the store and ask a member of staff to help me to help her.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I would stop to help. If I could not help them, I would get them the help they need. They are people too, there is no way that I would just keep walking.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
21 Feb 10
The question is very easy. I am 105, so all I can do is call for help. If nobody is close by, I may call 911 to come and help her.
There is nothing I can do with heavy person. 
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Feb 10
olydove As a person who is not that big, but is quite overweight
I would go by my own experience. Ihad a bad fall on the sidewalk
beside my favorite restaurant,and tried to get up. Usually when one falls you just put your two hands down on the ground or floor,or whatever, and p;ush yourself up onto your feet. But I had one huge problem. I tried to put my left hand down alongside my right hand and try to get back up on my feet. But my left arm just dangled.Passers by called the paramedics when they saw I must be badly hurt, and nobody tried to lift me as my shoulder was paining really bad. The paramedics told the bystanders not to touch me and they lifted me onto a backboard then onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. So if I saw that very big woman fall that is just what I would do, never try to move someone 
huge like that,you would more likely injure yourself and perhaps the person you were trying to help. let the paramedics always handle it , they are trained for that, we are not.
huge like that,you would more likely injure yourself and perhaps the person you were trying to help. let the paramedics always handle it , they are trained for that, we are not.1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
21 Feb 10
That is very good sound advice Hatley. I agree with you that if the woman were hurt indeed let the medics handle it. But I would ask the woman if she was hurt and thought she could get up because I wouldn't want to call the medics if it weren't necessary as they are busy busy.
@kaylachan (57561)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
21 Feb 10
I would try and get the woman help. I'm not physically that strong and I'd be afraid of hurting her more or myself. I don't want to hurt people and if I was ever in a postion to where I thought I'd do more harm then good I'd back off bigtime. But, I would see to it she got help.
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