who will choose?

@nophie (2338)
Indonesia
February 20, 2010 9:45am CST
one man is man whos you love in the past, and after years you meet him again. and for some reason you decide to make relationship with him because he has waiting for you for almost 14 years. of course the purpose is get married with him, but his financial is not ready, even he loves you so much but he's still thinking about financial. but you love him and want to get married soon. other man, whos just you know. but he has good job and dont worry about financial matter. but you dont love him. Which one you will choose, considering that marriage life is not easy. we need money to get better life also for our child in the future, but other side can we live with man whose we dont love?
12 responses
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
20 Feb 10
first of all, nice to hear this case.lOL.is it your expereince or only your imagination experience, LOL? let me differentiate one by one, and you can clarify one by one too 1.is it deserve to make a relationship with someonee only because he is waitinf for you? so where is in the name of love? 2.whats the matter about the financial if you and him love each other? i think in java (correcy me) culture if the man and girl love each other (in java words, trisno), finacial problems is second number because with love they can overcome any problems for their love. 3.for the second man who recently you know it, what a sign so you can say you dont love him? i think it`s about time nop, let open your heart to anybody who love you so much iam waiting for your responds back to me
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
can i respond ...? you are right .. for me at least, when we love someone truly , then we should choose love over everything else
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
20 Feb 10
sanajana, ya i want to hear your responds too
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
yeah, i think it's easy when there's no words from parent. but girl's parent want to their daughter has a better life than before. it difficult to choose. i think it is not right to choose a couple but we dont know him at all.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
20 Feb 10
love - Love sould sometimes mean getting ready for the future.
This is a situation that you and only you can decide(if this concerns to you).Think it many times.I would think loving someone is the best thing we ever feel in our entire life.It makes us happy but sometimes painful but it is also interesting.I believe that if two people love each other then they can work out together for their future.So for me i would choose the one who loves me and i feel the same for him also.You can still plan to set aside the marriage until you are ready and keep the relarionship the same.You can both plan for your future.
• China
21 Feb 10
it's a old problem. it is a problem of love and money. in my opinion you will be regret for you choice.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
that's why i have to think and pray to choose. but my heart choose the one whom i love. no matter how porr he is. thanks for sharing.
@kibagus (92)
• Indonesia
20 Feb 10
I think you should get married with someone that you love and rich! and you live happily forever.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
handsome, rich and love us. good combination. but it`s hard to find the man like that.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
yes, you right adhy. perfect combination i think. but it's really hard to find that guy. but who knows? maybe GOD has prepared someone for me.
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
i hv known my husband for 16 years before we were married, but he did not leave me and neither did i, we were together all those time and went tru all the financial hardship together .. now we are married for 3 years, we are struggling with our finances, but since we met untiil now we have been together because we love each other. if the man of past has been in such way from the beginning they should not have split at all instead wiorked together .. if it was tru love .. and she would not have looked for a replacement lover man will always look for money as their responsibility is more than the woman, but the woman can be a silent partner during all times .. based on your argument to choose the bdetter earning guy, what happens if he lost all his money after few years pf marriage, will you leavee this guy to look for another 'moneyed' guy for your childrens sake or .. help himto his feet .. remember the wedding vows "offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live" (from :http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingvows/a/traditionalvows.htm) cheers
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
thats a romantic story and touching for my heart.i do hope i can get my old friends who admire me (but never tell me) and we meet again.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
yup, romantic story. i do hope the rich man go away from my life. this is difficult because of he is my brothere's friend. but really i dont want to dissapoint other guy twice. hope everything will be easy. Thanks sanjana_aslam
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
I will choose the man who will love me most. That will be my way to know who will I choose. Then will I know who will I choose among them since I know myself and what I wanted to be happy and contented and at least no regrets from my decision. I believe that the love he can give, can do many things to be inspired at all time and will never stop doing things that will make his partner happy. If both of you love each other, then even you do not have much of material things in life, you can work things out to have a better life by working together as one. Both of you will be inspired of the love you have for each other that will give you one aim in life and for your family. Working things needed in life is not hard to find. If both of you support each other and use your strengths together. If you chose, the man who you really do not love but because of financial security reasons only. No matter the wealth he has and give you. You can never work things out to be in love with him the same as the man you really love. Material wants or money cannot buy real love. So Choose the one who will give you the assurance of your contentment and happiness in life. It is your own choice in life. Whatever steps you make,there are always an effect.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
22 Feb 10
yes, you right. your comment is very helpful for me and more realized what should i do and choose. love can be bought with a lot of money. we just need happiness, no matter how we poor, as long as we happy, it's really doesnt matter. thanks for sharing Genericbe
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
I will choose the one i love but we don't have money. Money is everywhere, if you will just find a work and opportunity you have that, but it is not easy to find the one you love. When I am happy inside, I am sure i am happy outside. I can do everything with happiness and positivity, because I am with the one i love and nothing else. Happiness and peace of mind is still important than money.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
22 Feb 10
yes, you are right grecy, i think love can't be bought with a lot of money. but money can be found everywhere. it's really make me realize that money is not everything. happy mylotting grecy.
@jobmoone (442)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
A good question if you want to value your self or value the others...your self or your culture....a life is a gift given to us...I think it depends upon how will you balance both...for the sake of your family's situation or for your own sake...if your family has little benefit for this situation why not choose your lover? If your family really NEEDS your help maybe its ok to sacrifice for them...the other man can have your body(a material thing) but your heart can never be taken which really knows where should your heart be. What can you say?
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
i think my family not get any benefit from him. and really it's hard to live with someone that you dont love.
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
no matter what people say you will always choose the person you love the most. but the basis of marriage is not just money, although it is something to be considered. Love is not a feeling it is a decision that you commit to and decide on every single day, for if love was just based on feelings all marriages would have crumbled by now. love, faith, hope, respect, and trust are the solid basis of marriage for it to work but of course your unique personalities are also a factor in making marriage work. I once knew of a couple their love story was like any other. The woman belonged to a rich family and the guy worked as their houseboy. The man and woman fell inlove and the woman's family was against it because they man was really poor. But they fought for their love. The man was patient and hardworking, he had a goo business acumen, in a few years time after his marriage with the woman, both of them were able to establish a good business and that is a gasoline shop. Now they have several businesses and they are millionaires and they are still together after 40 years. I know them quite well because they live in my neighborhood. On another hand I know of a woman who married a man not by her own choice but because her mother taught the guy was good for her instead of her sweetheart who had money. The guy she married was poor but he was hardworking, loving, patient and kind, He was a family man, and although she did not love him when they were wed the woman eventually did fell inlove. Together they weathered the storms of life, they had children... well 6 of them! They were blessed with good children who landed good jobs and helped out the family. After all they went through raising a family their hard work and dedication to each other and for their family paid off. They were able to move into a good neighborhood and were able to afford new things. Most of all they were married for 62 wonderful years. How did I know? I'm telling you the story of my grandparents!
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
Wow, beautiful stories. the core of the stories is love, isn't it? but in story number 2, like my cousin case. she has been forced by her mother to marry to man whom she didnt love. but until now she still can't love him. her marriage was more than 10 years.
@prasunsam (359)
• India
20 Feb 10
I think love is a valuable emotion that is very hard to find. Money can be earned by hard work but love can't be created its natural.No matter how much money you give to a person but it can't compensate for love. So i think love should be the choice. You should go for a partner whom you love.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
yeah, you right too. money can be earned by work, but love cant be bought. i'm rich but dont have love, it will futile i think
@emediloy (701)
• Indonesia
20 Feb 10
Hi nophie..i just want to say just follow your heart feeling. maybe you should pray to god, ask to decide the best for you. money is nothing if you're not happy, but sometime love just ain't enough. so, just pray, pray, pray. i'm sure, if he really really loves you, he would do anything for you. he would work hard to make you happy. to provide everything for you and your family next.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
well both of you right, love can be bought. i have a cousin, she forced married to a guy. after 10 years her marriage, she sill cant loving her husband. even her husband rich but she didnt feeel happy, she said is it my desinity to be sad forever. Oh My GOD i can't imagine if it happend to me.
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
We can't live without money nowadays .... Money is the most important thing in our life. We can survive without love, but we can't survive without money. If I were you, I will choose the one who loves me more than I love him, and of course he has to have a good job. Feeling can grow ....
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
well, that's i want. hehehe, i choose the one whom i love but still take long time to get married.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
WHO do you think you should choose? It's actually the person who you love most. I think that's a better way.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
i think yes, i must choose person whose i love