Do you keep money secrets from your husband?

Philippines
February 21, 2010 3:01am CST
I wish my husband will find time to register in myLot.com. But not sooner. 'Coz I don't want him to read this particular topic. Hehehe. With so many reasons, I really keep secrets regarding money from my husband. At times when I earn and he doesn't know about it, I prefer that I keep it a secret. Anyways, I am alloting the money not for anything else but for the family. I just don't want him to know that I have extra money so that he will still work hard for the family. Although I have guilt about being honest, I chose to believe that my intentions are good. How do you see my situation? Is it just fair or am I a bad wife?
4 people like this
16 responses
@eshaan (6188)
• India
5 Mar 10
yes almost all women do this...though it is only for the good of the family, we do it for emergency, like when there is really the need and the BOSS ...doesn't have or allow to spend on particular thing ...but that is really important ...then we can take out our secret money and use it in that emergency....though there are no bad things involved in it...i think its good for giving small surprises to the family....
• India
23 Feb 10
No I don’t…rather my hubby is my finance manager and adviser and secretary all rolled into one. I was never good at maths and whatever little money I have, it seems too much of a bother to keep track of all the accounts and everything. And then what does hubby have to do apart from earning the daily bread? Look at me…managing home, office AND a kid’s studies too… at least let him do some constructive work LOL
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Feb 10
I don't think it's fair, but I don't think it makes you a bad wife either. I have done this myself a few times before. And each time it was for the benefit of the family. One time it was even to get a motorcycle for my husband. Okay, so the money was supposed to go towards us getting a car, but I figured my husband works hard and deserves a little fun. I knew I'd eventually get a car, even if it meant having to wait a little longer than I would have liked. I have to say though that I didn't like the fact that I had to start all over again as I hate all the secrecy! LOL Happy mylotting!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
22 Feb 10
It is such a coincidence that I should come across your discussion because I am feeling so guilty at the moment! I bought myself a new bag the other day because the one I was using was falling apart but I did not expect my husband would appreciate that fact! Anyway I bought the new bag and paid around forty dollars for it but when I took it home I told him it only cost twenty dollars! I know… I know it’s bad of me but there is no way he would have understood, the funny thing is that he looked at the bag and said, “Wow only twenty bucks, you got a bargain!” I do hold back sometimes with my earnings but aside from white lies like the bag incident, like you I always contribute the money to the family budget. Sometimes I don’t tell him how much I have so I can buy him a present every now and again without him knowing how much I paid for it! I don’t think you are a bad wife, after all it’s not that you spend all the cash just on yourself; the problem with telling him how much you have is that he may expect that all the time! Don’t feel bad, at least you don’t outright lie to him like I have!
@daliaj (5674)
• India
22 Feb 10
That is intresting. I think that you have all rights to keep secrets regarding the money you earn. I don't think my husband will find it a fault if I keep secrets regarding the moeny I earn, but I don't do that. Even if I make 20 dollars by online work, I will tell that to him. On the other hand, he also tells me about the grants and extra money he gets other than his regular work. If I get extra money, doesn't mean that he will expect me to spend more.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
i agree with you. we should not devulge to our husband all that we earned because they might not work hard as they are suppose to do because they know that you're still have enough to be use. i think it's not bad as long as we are also making the money that we have in good intentions or saved it for future emergency expenses.
@illfavors (590)
• United States
21 Feb 10
I don't keep money secrets from my husband. In fact, I make sure to tell him everything about the money that has been spent and what it is spent on. I am in charge of most of the bills and so he know I am doing the right thing when it comes to money. We actually don't keep any secrets about anything. We have an open, honest marriage.
@siZidni (1860)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 10
Hi..I think that there is all woman who did it.I think to be honest is better but maybe it's not right in every situation.I try to understand about your problem or about many woman who did it because some reason.For me,i have no secret with my husband and I think as partner we can communicate all things and believe each other.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Feb 10
i guess i should not be joining this discussion as this is a women's secret. but i want to share some point of views. i agree with almost everyone here that it is not a bad thing to keep money secrets from your husband. i am sure, you do that not for your own personal interest but you still look into consideration the deepest needs of the family, when it comes. that when in some emergency situations, you have something to pick out from the pocket. it can also be the reason for those family that only one of the spouses are looking for money or has a job. it could be you or the husband. i, as the husband, looks for money. and not only by having a regular job that i have a regular income. i also look for some extra cash online. my wife remains at home. so as of this time, i am the only one who looks for money. as a worker, employee, offline, i receive once in a while, extra money as benefits. my wife knows most but not all extra money or benefits that i received or will be getting, she should know. i have to keep it secret from her. for emergency cases. so that i can have something left for me, too. but the topmost priority for us, is family. i know, it is also your priority. and they are always first in you thoughts. love you sis.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
I don't keep any money secret from my husband. My money and his are but one. We are both earning and we have never had any money issues within the 25 years of our marriage. I am blessed enough to have a very responsible husband who have been a real good provider. On my part I am doing my best to be just as responsible so that we could keep our finances in good condition.
21 Feb 10
Hi Katpuchboy, Sometimes a girl have to have a little secret and be independent, I did have some money saved up which my hubby did not know but not long ago we were in need of paying some debt off and I have to give my savings to hubby, thats when he knew I had some miney off my own but he didn't mind that at all and has given back the money I have given him, he even give me extra for my own savings as he says it will help if I wanted to go away on a break with my friend. Tamara
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
21 Feb 10
No, you are not a bad wife. You are a normal wife. Normal in today's world is hiding things from each other. Abnormal, or weird, is when you have a totally transparent marriage relationship. Where you share absolutely everything with your spouse, and he with you. So, no you are not bad. I will say this though. I would encourage you to become weird, and end the secrets. You will end up with a closer deeper marriage that way, although it will be harder. But that's your call. :) Best of luck.
@hawkida (51)
• London, England
21 Feb 10
It doesn't matter what the rest of us think - would your husband think you were a bad wife for doing this? If I were your husband then I would be a bit upset if you thought I might stop working hard - that suggests you don't think I care about having nice stuff for the family and making money. It may be different for your husband, but you're treading a very dangerous line by discussing this with us if there is a chance he will see it and be annoyed by it!
@udaysexy (32)
• United States
21 Feb 10
i dont think its bad, it depends on your purpose of doing it, i wont do it though, i dont want any misunderstanding when it comes to money,
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
21 Feb 10
hello katpuchboy, actually, you remind me of my mom! haha but i don't look at my mom as a bad wife. i know she has the reason as to why she hides some money from my father...before. she just want to keep something to herself and so that she will have a money in case of there's a need. actually my father is kinda stingy..haha i guess they are hiding from each other but what's funny is that when its really needed, they both have money to use! they will just be surprise to see those money. but i must also say that sometimes it sparks a misunderstanding between them... but anyway, i can't judge them or you. all of us have our own reasons as to why e do certain things, as long as you are not using the money in bad things, i guess its just fine. but with me, i don't hide money from my husband, coz we are budgeting together! usually i will be showing him where all the money goes and most of the time i will be asking for some addition from him! hehe and whenever i have a money of my own, i always wanted to share it with him...even what i earn online, i do share it with him... i don't know, i just get used to it... good day!
@atv818 (1980)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Feb 10
Well, I was told by mom whose mom had informed her as well is to keep some money to yourself intact in case of rainy or stormy days and to keep it as a secret from their husband. No offense guys! I guess this is better than wives who spend every dime she can get her hands on. Agree?