i do need your opinions. will you accept this kind of man as your boyfriend?

Singapore
February 21, 2010 10:39pm CST
hi,everyone. Recently there is a man chasing for me. He is very handsome and wealthy so that there are many girls like him and chase him. To some extent i think he just wants to get me but not to be married with me. He is so attractive that i dont think i can refuse him, but i know what i need now is a reliable husband and family, not a handsome playboy. However,i cant control myselfe not to think about him. So how can I control myself? How can I refuse him? How will you choose if you are me?
4 people like this
31 responses
@ralphido (843)
• India
25 Feb 10
well.. you seem to be in real temptation.. only way to get rid of it is to give into it.. that way, you wouldn't have to sit wondering whether it would have somehow changed your life if you had decided to go with this man.. even if he just uses you and throws you away, you would have learned one of the most valuable lessons in life: "we don't learn from seeing others mistakes, we have to do it ourselves.."
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Hi crazyenglish! Are you sure he is playboy? He might be handsome and many girls would be falling from him but that is not necessarily means that he is already "playboy"... As long as he is not jumping from woman to other women and don't take advantage to those girls who are roaming around him... Anyways, I don't know the real him and of course you can tell if he really is like that or not crazyenglish. I think you better trust your instinct crazyenglish. If you think and feel that he is not serious on you and just want to play around... then I suggest that you try your best to avoid him. I know that it is kinda hard especially if we are also attracted to the guy. But remeber, if you entertain him still, you are like allowing yourself from falling on him and eventually get hurt. Actually there are two possiblities: he'll fall inlove with you too or 2. You will end up crying and regretting that you don't stop what you're feeling right now. What do you think is more possible result?
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
2 is more possible...:(
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
Oh that is so sad crazyenglish! Then I guess you better try hard to avoid him... Remember the more you entertain him and get along with this person the more you will make yourself like him more... The deeper you go, the deeper your wound will be. You better cut it now crazyenglish now that it is still early and the emotions are not yet strong enough to resist. Good luck to you Girl! I know you will meet the right man for you soon. Just don't rush things. Happy mylotting! I hope I have help you somehow in anyways...
• Singapore
24 Feb 10
thanks,medrano. i will keep looking for the right person,but maybe i will try this playboy as a boyfriend and try my best not to fall in. your opinion is really helpful and appreciate.:)
@dorothy09 (1520)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hi crazy english, for me If I am on your shoe, I would think for a long term need. YOu know for yourself that the man that have been chasing you wanted only to get you not to marry you. But who knows he will change for you :) Might be he is so in love with you and he will marry you and be faithful. You just said you cant refuse him, use your mind above your hurt. You might get hurt if you also show to him that you really want him Make him look for you, make him court you chase you first..
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
thanks,dorothy. i hope things will like what you said,but i dont think he will love me so much that he will give up other girls. Maybe im fresh or a little bit different for him,but i dont think he will stop at me and get married with me. he call himself as "a bird without feet" that means he will never stop.
@verabear (797)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
If you know this about him already then use that to convince yourself to just stop being hung over him. You know what's best for you, even your heart tells you you cannot trust him to take care of it. Whatever it is you are feeling for him right now might just be the rush because he shows that he wants you, that he chases after you. there are other men out there would want you AND LOVE you.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
i cant find another one to like now.that's another problem too.
@urbandekay (18312)
23 Feb 10
Why are you called Crazyenglish when you hail from Singapore? all the best urban
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
i just named radomly,think i can change it afterward,but found that it cant be changed..do you know how to change it?
@urbandekay (18312)
23 Feb 10
Ok no need to change it, I was just curious all the best urban
@Lata_45 (219)
• India
22 Feb 10
well say no to him rememeber beauty doesnt last forever but stuff that lasts is good heart so beleive in this n say him NOOOOOOOOOOOO
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
it' difficult..Lata..especilly currently i dont have another one who can take the place of him.
@Lata_45 (219)
• India
23 Feb 10
ohkk so try him I mean give him a chance may be he would change in terms of play boy thing so gofor what your heart sayd
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
If you are satisfied to be number one, where there is number two and number three, or if you like to be included in his collection then go for him. But if you want to be only one, then choose a faithful guy. Since a handsome like him is chasing you, it means you are pretty, you have a special appeal to guys. You can choose a guy, just be careful, and choose the right one. Since you are already looking for someone to marry, then choose someone who is faithful and serious lover. The key is to not fall easily. Let them prove their love to you. They should be patient and always wanted to serve you. Choose wisely! Good luck! Happy myLotting!
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
thanks..actually sometimes it is the feeling of being chased by a handsome and wealthy man that i cant refuse, you know that's the dream of almost all of girls..your opinions are really helful.thanks again:)
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Well, what you should do is talk to him. Tell him that you are not an easy girl, you are not like those girls that he has played with before. Tell him that you have no time for playing. If he will only play with you, then tell him that you are not interested and better leave you. But if he really loves you, then he should prove it. He should learn to wait and prove to you that he can change and he can be faithful. Well, for now, control yourself. Don't act too obvious that you like him too. Just put in your mind that there are still other guys that are better than him. Since you are already looking for husband, then look for someone that is ready to marry you, of course they should prove it. Well, just choose wisely, don't easily fall. Good luck! Have a nice day! Happy myLotting!
• United States
23 Feb 10
Do you have any real feelings with him? Would he make you emotionally happy? It seems like you want security, and he has financial security, but from what you said, it doesn't seem like he has the emotional security you want.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
yes,you are right.i dont have the emotional security with him.
• United States
23 Feb 10
If know that you want a husband and a family, this is not the right guy for you, it is natural that being him so handsome you feel attracted to him, but you have to think with a cold head, guys like this most of the time don't change, there are exceptions, but they are very rare, if I would be you, I would try to cut all sort of contact with him, because if you do it, then the temptation won't be there all the time, if this doesn't work, tell him that you know that he is not looking for married and you do, so nothing between the two of you will work.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
oh..the methods are so cruel...i cant endure it now..im so sorry to say that and to myself.
@TAZNEM (656)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
well if it was me i would indulge since i like him in some way but afraid that he'll just ditch me after getting what he wants. so i will just play with him for a while so i could really know him if he can be a family guy, but of course don't hsve s_x with him. and every time he insists i will just refuse him repeatedly and if he gets angry because of this then i know that he will not be the right man for being so childish and immature and break it off then, I'll definitely miss having a handsome wealthy boyfriend but at least i had a chance to experience it without giving up my chastity..
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
oh..TAZNEM..think yours is a good suggestion. i need a dicipline that control myself not to fall.
@snowy22315 (47241)
• United States
22 Feb 10
It sounds like you might be prejudging him. How well do you know him? For all you know he might want the same things that you do. Don't push him away until you know his character a little bit better. He might want o be married and has the potential to be a relaible husband.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
i hope so.but so rich as he is,the possibility is very little. he has all aspects girls dreamed..if you were him how will you do? will you choose a boring life or just enjoy playing?
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
22 Feb 10
You should really stay away from him. No matter how hard it is. Once you have played his little game, you will be alone again. It is not worth getting hurt by someone like that. TATA.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
yes.that may be the reality,the simple and direct reality,but we girls,most of us cant accept this reality although we know it. we can only survive in our dreams.
• India
22 Feb 10
You saw this man and if go with him, may be next day you might see another man much more handsome than the earlier one. So this is life and you cannot say anyone being the best. I would suggest you to concentrate on long term relations if you want to get married soon. Temporary relation will not have much for you, its gone after few meetings when he is away you will realize that it was a mistake. just a personnel opinion/suggestion.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
yes..what you said is what im worried about. he is a play boy, but im not a play girl. im afraid that finally the one who will get hurt is me. but as you know there are not many brilliant opportunities in our lives that we can really enjoy, i am also afraid that if i let him slip then i will miss the happiest time of my life. thanks.
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
In my opinion regarding your situation, better choose your real plans about your wants in life that will stay for long time than gamble yourself to someone who will never give you any assurance at all but for the meantime. IT is hard to let go of yourself the feeling of attachment and affection from a guy whom you have seen good looks and many chases him. But, if this guy in your inner knowledge is one who wanted to just play with you and putting his limits in a boyfriend guy type, would you think if you allow him in his own conditions would be fair for you as a woman who has her own dreams for a lifetime partner. On the other hand, It is very hard for you to resist that kind of guy. Especially if a playboy one. You will have to make more gambles and the possibility of winning his heart that will meet your dream is by chances. Unless, he had learned his lessons well and it was you who made him realized that. I cannot blame if you cannot control yourself. Especially if the affection and physical attraction is strong. The only thing I can suggest about your concern is, pursue your dreams in looking for an ideal partner and control yourself in this playboy guy by totally getting rid of him. You have to look for some divert options like getting acquainted with friends, peers or any that would catch your interest. You can refuse the guy if you decided that your relationship with him will never be permanent at all no matter how you do everything for him. But, if this guy had changed and was able to realize your his partner for real. Then, refusing this guy totally is not needed but to give enough time for both of you to get to know each other and forget the past mistakes he had done then Start a new life for both of you. Remember that, Love can be not perfect. It bring you hope or despair. But, if you made right choices for your life. Wherever you may be, Love will always come in your time and the way you dreamed having it. We make our choices for our life. As long it will make you happy and contented.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
hi,Genericbe..thanks for your so detailed reply. i have marked it as the best reponse. you are so kind and warm-hearted,like a sister or a good friend who are chatting with me. thank you.
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
22 Feb 10
It depends what you want from your life. If its fun and adventure is one thing. If you want a stable relationship he does not seem to be the likely candidate to fill in that position. Use your mind not your heart in such situations.
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
i like this sentence"use your mind not your heart"..but it's difficult for us humanbeings to refuse such a bait.
• China
22 Feb 10
Handsome and rich is not the fault for him and it doesn't mean that he is a bad boy.I think you love him and maybe you can get a try with him. Yeah,you could talk with him first to know his attitude to marriage and others.But if you keep up your mind to refuse him, you can't regret,otherwise,it would be very painful for you.
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
i have felt painful for long time. im weird that i think he will look me down if i ask him the attitude of marriage.
@towongfoo27 (2989)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Just because the man is handsome and wealthy doens't infer he is a playboy. Maybe he is looking for a mature girl that can see beyond the obvious. Maybe do not count the handsome man out so quickly, because for all you know he might be looknig for a serious relationship, too?It is natural to think of the men in our lives. Yet on the other hand, maybe the handsome and wealthy man is aware of how girls perceive him, so he knows what to play to, to get you interested. It could go both ways, and you will never know unless you take a chance and find out for yourself, right?
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
yes.anything is needed to try. but for me the price for this chance to try is my love and my treasure time. im not young already. but still thank you, towongfoo.
@srganesh (6350)
• India
22 Feb 10
do you really know that he is a play boy?then if you don't want him in real life but still your heart longs for him,have him as your dream boy.Enjoy his thoughts in dreams and even live with him intimately in your fantasy world.You can easily neglect him in the real world.And once you get your lovable husband,this imaginary world will vanish.
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
since there is such a perfect dream in your mind everyday how can you find and accept another one as your husband?...
@daliaj (5689)
• India
22 Feb 10
It is difficult to refuse a man who is handsome and rich. But, every girl needs a to make a stable and happy family and that is the reason behind finding a lover. So, you should first talk to the man and find out his intention. He is handsome and rich don't mean that he won't make a good family with you. Know his true intetion, and don't go for it if you find out that he preferst to take the relationship for time pass.
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
unfortunately, i think his intention is just getting me..but most of time i dont believe this and still hope we can get married.
@jbaunillo (258)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
nah uh! if i were in your place, i would not fall for him. since you want a reliable husband, better find another much worthy for your love. if you fall for him, in the end, you'll be the one who'll suffer. you just cant trust a person like that especially who has looks and riches.
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
yes. that's what im worried about and i dont want to waste time,because i have been not a little girl already. i am afraid of being hurt.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
You should refuse him. You can control yourself and refrain from thinking him by focusing on other things. Maybe going to a mall with your girl friends. Try to hangout with others to remove your focus to him.
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
but in a long run? even if i am occupied totally i still cant think about him in the bottom of my heart.