why most man left their gf once they got them pregnant

Philippines
February 22, 2010 3:06am CST
i remember how sweet and romantic my boyfriend to me before. i even have our pictures together and i cant help but look at them. but now that he got me pregnant, so sad coz he left me without any words for me. knowing that i dont have job right now. i wonder why most men are like that. they are so selfish and dont even bother to think that being pregnant is not an easy job for the woman and yet they will add them emotional problem by leaving them. i want to kill him really. shame on him. no balls after all. what can you say about those guys.
6 people like this
40 responses
@binagupta (628)
• India
23 Feb 10
i really think this guys are fake, what ever they want they can do they should be punished so that they never do this again with any girl
1 person likes this
@kieszha (18)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hey there.,, i can relate to your story coz i have a sister that was pregnant before and her bf left him,,... it was raelly hard, the bby was also stress due to my sis is alwayz sad and crying... everyone of us is supporting to move on and thank god she made it the bby was safe and both of them are ok now. there starting to move on ... shame on him....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
not all men are like that, but most of them are immature to do such thing. i could understand your situation because i am also a single mom, the only thing is that the guy did not left, he is interested to marry me but i refuse. he was too immature and irresponsible for a husband. our daughter is already 6 years old right now and i just got married to a very responsible man while my former partner is until now a jobless person. with your condition of being pregnant now, be happy if he don't want to face his responsibility. don't live a miserable life with a man like him. life ahead is beautiful, think about your baby and the future you are going to have together. it will not be easy, but i know you can make it as i did.
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
your lucky then atleast someone marry you, i know i can still find someone but my concern is for my baby to grow up with a father figure, and i want the real father and not just someone else or the one that i might going to be married. i dont want to take the right of my child to know whose his/her real father is.
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
every mother wants the best for her child but if the father cannot even face the responsibility he have with you, do you think he is the best for your baby? i also have the same concern with you but i won't settle for least. if marrying someone just for my daughter to have a biological father and we will all live a miserable life is the only reason, then i am not into it. i applied for a job and earned a living just to raise my daughter, and now, i never have any regrets. my husband loves my daughter and treats her like his own. my baby deserves a man like him than a biological father who would just take us for granted. my daughter knows who her real father is, but she has no interest yet in meeting him. i think when she grows old, she would find for him, but for now she is well loved and very happy with the family that we have.
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
i guess your right. i can just simply tell my child whose the father is. since his not been a responsible father anyway. leaving us behind the time that we needed him. and yes your right, the child deserves to have a better life and a better father even if the guy is not the real father as long as we can give the child a good life.
@sublime03 (1811)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Did he leave you or he is just emotionally there for you? Anyway, I am very sorry to hear about this homeshoppers. I think on my opinion, the reason why they leave is because they do not want the responsibility. Even though they already know how big of a responsibility it is, they would rather be gone and live their lives as a bachelor. Instead of living up to what they have done, they just shy off thinking once the kid grows up they can just show up and introduce themselves. That happened to my close friend who I met back when I was in college and believe me they guy did not even call or show up at all. When the kid was around 5 years old he then showed up and was claiming that was his son. He wanted to see his son but my friend did not want to for the sole reason that he was not there when she needed him. Unfair,yes, but the pain she had to go through alone back then was undeniably hard for anyone to go thru. My advise is be strong for yourself and your baby. Life is far more greater to look forward to even when he is not around. You have friends and family to spend it with. Trust me, you can do it.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
he totally leave me for good without a words for me knowing i dont have job to support my pregnancy specially the birthing cost knowing also that i only live alone without means of income.
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I am sorry to hear all about this homeshoppers, I totally ask the same thing actually, why do some guys leave their fiancees in times when they're needed the most. I'm a guy too, in behalf of all the bad guys out there, I'm sorry ladies. I think it's true that some men, their strong outside looks, are just pretends, when it really comes down to it, some men are chickens, no-balls-at-all as you say. I also have friends that are all alone now and going through the same thing as you. Well ,we can't say that you're alone. you have the pretty kid in your tummy. I think it's just the shock, men can also take time to think. So probably your boy was shocked about the news and can't recover easily. Let's pray that he'll come back for the baby and you.
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
I empathy with your present condition and how irresponsible your boyfriend was after you gave all your trust and affection. Most men leave their partners when they are already pregnant because never in their mind had accepted the responsibility being a father. The only thing they have in mind is the relationship benefits they can have from their partner. These guys are not mentally and emotionally prepared for the obligation and never reconsidered the emotional set backs of their girlfriend or partner. I can say they only think of themselves. They are afraid of the responsibility and maybe they do not see their partner as a long time partner but an affair only. They are physically only a man but totality of them is not a real man who is responsible. In your condition right now, I cannot blame your emotions because it is hard to accept now that after all what happened, you are left alone!. Your compromise with your family, relatives, and peers on affections and blames are present. You are facing many difficulties alone, that supposedly you are focusing your pregnancy stage by taking care of yourself and the child. The best thing I can suggest for you is to be strong now. There will come a time you will be facing your irresponsible BF. Your life will not stop even he is not there anymore. This is the challenge in your life. Time will come he will have no guts to face you for real. God will never fail you and those who have a good heart. Be thankful, for in this stage, you are able to know the people who are supporting you and be putted in gratitude.
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
yes thank you, actually words that i read here help me a lot to lift up my depression right now. specially that i dont have anyone to talk with her but myself. its very helpful that theres someone who understand my feelings even though i dont know them at all. i appreciated your response and i hope i can beat this failure in my life though my child is not a failure to me, i just look at it as a gift from god for me to be strong and do better things in the future for the baby.
@Mike4me (567)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
I'm sorry about your story, I really think it's better that way than being someone who can't even take responsibilities. Like what others said, some men tend to leave their gf's when they get pregnant simply because they are afraid of the responsibility. And even I dont understand why some of them are like that. If ever I get pregnant with my bf before marriage, I wont even require him to support me or our baby, If he really loves me so much, then he will do it in his own will and not feel guilty about the responsibility. And obviously, your ex didnt love that much, but i know you will do good without him. Just work hard for your baby and yourself, i know you can do it. I believe in you!
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
yes, if the guy is responsible enough to think that way. i dont care if will take me nor returned to me as i also dont like him anymore, if im looking for him, its bcoz of the baby. the baby needs a father.
@towongfoo27 (2989)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Did your boyfriend ever say why he left? That might be something to ask about, because your being pregnant may not be the reason. I am not a guy, but I did have my first child at 18. So I can understand. I am guessing a possible reason is because he doesn't want to be saddled down with the responsibility. It is a big job to take that on, and maybe he just wasn't as prepared as he initially thought? Maybe he just felt trapped. Who knows? Usually it takes two to tango, so perhaps there is some role you play, too. I also think that just because a man leaves after getting a girl pregnant doesn't automatically infer he is a piece of you know what.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
my current boyfriend dont bothr to left meany message why he need to go. he just gone. i tried to cll him, at first his phone and cp was just ringing then right now for a week now, none of his phone are now ringing. looks like he tried to cut them maybe he already change it. i dont think its just a trapped since we become friends first before. in fact his the one who offer his love to me knowing i was still in love with my ex that time. he took advantage of my loneliness pretending he care and love me. but when he found out that im pregnant his just gone.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hello homeshopper, It's really annoying to see situations like these gives men like me a very bad name. You know i have seen your picture before that eye avatar of yours and i can tell that you are pretty and beautiful. unfortunately, you got the wrong guy to spend your life. If i were him i would take responsibility to it. i wouldn't blame you if you started being strict or at least hate men for a while because of the situation that you are into. at least you have a new inspiration now and that is your child. i believe as long as you two are together, you don't need a man in your life, consult with single moms every where you find them and you will see how lucky you are. he will regret that in the end. my advice, take care of your child, attend parenting seminars specifically for SINGLE moms. there's a will, there's a way and God will guide you through it.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
thank you, actually i guess he only took advantage of my loneliness that time coz thats the time that i had problem with my ex before, he was once my friend who offer help and care for me during the time that i was so sad. tried to make me happy. too late coz i trusted him so much.
@cloud31 (5811)
22 Feb 10
His afraid of responsibility and i feel sorry about this,hope you can have more courage to face your situation now for the sake of your baby.. And for the man,he will surely feel sorry about what he did to you. God bless!
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
yes i guess his afraid of responsibility, though financially i know he can coz his a will known person and a consultant to many big firms and company here in my country. perhaps his not ready for responsibility yet. i really dont know. as for me, is nothing but a coward.
@nocturn98 (956)
• Venezuela
22 Feb 10
Don't call them men. There's nothing manly about leaving your pregnant girlfriend. These kind of people are cowards who don't know how to take responsibility for their actions. Karma will get them soon.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
yes his not man enough to be a father of my child. maybe his a gay lol. and i just hope he will get the karma since its the baby he left and not mow. coz if its only me i can afford to live without him, i can find someone else i know but for the baby, i feel so sorry about it. i just hope he cant sleep every time the baby cries and i just hope he cant sleep at night lol, am i bad to think of this? well he deserves no mercy after all.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 May 10
I think that men that are able to turn their backs to the responsibility of being a parent to the child that they helped to bring into the world should be punished in some way. I was very lucky when I got pregnant with my daughter in that my boyfriend was mentally and financially ready to be a father. He supported me through my pregnancy and was there for me from the minute that Kathryn was born. We are married now and I could not imagine my life to be any other way. I would have probably killed him if he'd walked out on me.
@scja16 (323)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
Yes i think that he has no balls to face reality. At the first place he did that to you so he need to be a Man to you and to your coming baby. It so sad to know that there are people like that but atleast it shows how strong you are as a person. So keep it up, let us just pray that the guy will come to his senses and realize what he needs to do. Always pray to God to give you strength and guidance as you go to the path of being a parent to your baby. God bless
• India
12 Mar 10
You are right homeshoppers I think this is the greatest sin that any girl as pregnant give up. Man should not do. This same thing dismantled and farm out of radishes. Also girls should not have affair before marry.
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
hi there, I'm so sorry to hear that. Some guys are just in for the ride but not for something serious. I think the guy is not emotionally ready to handle the situation and he felt trapped that's why he left. I know it's never a good reason but honey some guys are just like that and sadly you caught the wrong fish in the pond. The best thing to do now is not to focus on him. You gotta think you have a baby now and have bills to pay and take care of and most especially when the baby comes out. Focus your attention into making money that would be a good source of steady income that would be enough or more than enough to put heads over your roof and put food on the table and money for emergency needs. This should be your main concern now and not that guy.
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
I really don’t have experience on this, but I believe when a boyfriend left his girlfriend after he found her pregnant, that is an act of cowardice. Your boyfriend is coward and he is not ready for responsibility. They only wants pleasure from you and nothing else. That is why it is so hard to give out woman virginity, because it only lead to problem if the person involve have no responsibility. If you are going to do it make sure that the girl will not pregnant , that is what others will say. You are also responsible on this. You both decide to do it anyway. Now that you found out that your boyfriend have no balls, you just have to do it alone. I can’t say you have to forget him, what he done to you is unforgettable but I am hoping he will have a face to be on your side because the first person you ever need is him. I hope things will work out in the future, but don’t wait for him now, you have to do it alone now. You have to face the consequence of your action. I know you are hurting, but the best way is to move on now and to take care of yourself. Just prove to that no balls boyfriend of you that you can stand without him. And treat him nothing as you surpasses it all.
• United States
24 Feb 10
This is a subject I do not think that I will ever understand men nowadays Now I am not saying all men but more and more are becoming to the point it is easier to just walk away than do what should be done. I do not think I will ever have these answers I have had three kids three strike outs one may say. All three times the fathers if one would have the nerve to call them that were sadly lacking and with 2 of them they were planned. I think it is a sad statement when it has become socially acceptable for men to walk away and not take responsibility for thier deeds if this was back in the older days men would be shamed it would not be the common it says something about society today a society I fear my kids to have to enter someday
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I went through this with my oldest daughters' dad and now he realizes that he made a mistake by not being with us. However, he said he just wasn't ready for such a commitment and that he still need to grow up. He should have thought about that then. I just feel that it is too late now as she is 19 and I raised her with little help from him and then my husband and I got married and he raised her from age 2 on and got to adopt her at about age 8. My husband is her DAD and that is what matters to me.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
24 Feb 10
That happens alot here in my country too. From way back in history. In my country we call these jerks sperm donors. This type of male is why i use the word male to describe them instead of men. Its them that are missing out on the life of that child. Never say bad things about the sperm donor to the child. The child will know in time what a jerk he was. You are the one that gets all the blessing for yourself. Remember for all the suffering your doing now blessings will come your way. Jah bless you and your baby.
@thuhuong (828)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I'm sorry homeshoppers as that is a bad thing for men sometimes. They get this bad rep and they don't know why because of men like these. I don't know how or what happened but when a child is abandoned no matter how bad your relationship is, you do not abandon it. the only other thing I can think of is if it's not his. If he's suspicious of that. But if it's his and he runs away, shame on him.
@pandaeyes (2068)
23 Feb 10
Men like that are cowards really. They only want the fun bit of being with a girl but not the work of a commitment which a child would bring. It is so sad when the girl really loves the man and yet he has decided she is not worth living all his life with. It makes me angry to think there are people like that. In the UK if you were left, you could get a paternity test to prove the child was his and he would be ordered by the court to pay upkeep for his child even if he never ever saw the girlfriend again. Sometimes even then, the man manages to avoid paying anything.