Are You More Confident Writing/Typing Than Speaking?
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
February 22, 2010 9:37am CST
I would say I am more confident with writing because I have done it all my life and I write in diaries (even nowadays) to express myself as it is a way of getting things off my chest so I can face the following days ahead.
Once I learned how to type at school it was revolutionary! Someone who hardly spoke until she was about 3 years old could type freely without any inhibitions.
You see, I have Mercury in Pisces. What on earth does that mean? you may be asking yourself. Well, I'd LIKE to communicate as well as typing out my thoughts but I find it difficult to do so. There is a mental block. I don't stammer but I sometimes take ages to get my words out properly. Why? Because I "um" and "aah" a lot. Other times there is a word that I just can't say immediately and I've had instances where the person I am talking to finishes my sentences for me. The best word in the Cumbrian language I have come across is "cowie." I use it ALL THE TIME. For the uninitiated, you could use "thingy" instead and you get what I mean.
This is why interviewers have to catch me on a good, confident day. If my handshake isn't as clammy as usual we are on the right track. If I can tell the people on the panel like me I can talk better than if there is no reaction in their faces. I cannot stand deadpan, I want to be able to at least TRY to figure out their thoughts. The chattier the interviewers, the better. The more informal the interview; the better.
My one weakness (as Dorcas would say on "Lark Rise to Candleford") is that I fail to sell myself at every turn. I am hopeless at telling people how good I am at something.
My idea of a nightmare would be stand up and speak in front of a roomful of strangers...or even people I know, actually.
This is one of the many reasons that I love John so much. He stammers with his words. He finds it frustrating communicating at times but he is so intelligent that I always know what he wants to say. Sometimes it takes him a while to say it; and it's the same with me but in a different way, "um" and "aah" lol.
If my speech was as fluent as my typing I'd be a boss somewhere. A very good boss too as I hate injustice and will fight for the underdog daily. I would not tolerate bullying in the office. I would not email everyone in the office; I would talk to them.
How it must be wonderful to be able to TALK without stopping, like I am able to TYPE without stopping.
If I could ask God for one thing it would be for me to articulate what I want to say without an "um" or an "aah" spoiling it. I'd have a job in no time!
You see, I have Mercury in Pisces. What on earth does that mean? you may be asking yourself. Well, I'd LIKE to communicate as well as typing out my thoughts but I find it difficult to do so. There is a mental block. I don't stammer but I sometimes take ages to get my words out properly. Why? Because I "um" and "aah" a lot. Other times there is a word that I just can't say immediately and I've had instances where the person I am talking to finishes my sentences for me. The best word in the Cumbrian language I have come across is "cowie." I use it ALL THE TIME. For the uninitiated, you could use "thingy" instead and you get what I mean.
This is why interviewers have to catch me on a good, confident day. If my handshake isn't as clammy as usual we are on the right track. If I can tell the people on the panel like me I can talk better than if there is no reaction in their faces. I cannot stand deadpan, I want to be able to at least TRY to figure out their thoughts. The chattier the interviewers, the better. The more informal the interview; the better.
My one weakness (as Dorcas would say on "Lark Rise to Candleford") is that I fail to sell myself at every turn. I am hopeless at telling people how good I am at something.
My idea of a nightmare would be stand up and speak in front of a roomful of strangers...or even people I know, actually.
This is one of the many reasons that I love John so much. He stammers with his words. He finds it frustrating communicating at times but he is so intelligent that I always know what he wants to say. Sometimes it takes him a while to say it; and it's the same with me but in a different way, "um" and "aah" lol.
If my speech was as fluent as my typing I'd be a boss somewhere. A very good boss too as I hate injustice and will fight for the underdog daily. I would not tolerate bullying in the office. I would not email everyone in the office; I would talk to them.
How it must be wonderful to be able to TALK without stopping, like I am able to TYPE without stopping.
If I could ask God for one thing it would be for me to articulate what I want to say without an "um" or an "aah" spoiling it. I'd have a job in no time!9 people like this
42 responses
@donnakristel (1704)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
i can say that i am comfortable in writing than speaking. english is not our native language. i can speak confidently in english but the grammar is not that correct and vice versa. nevertheless, i am trying to express myself more in speaking (english).
as for my guy, he is good in writing and speaking (but he never ever gave me letters
) i told him to give me a card but he simply told me verbally that words aren't enough to say how he felt for me 
. so i shut my mouth and open my ears. :-)
) i told him to give me a card but he simply told me verbally that words aren't enough to say how he felt for me . so i shut my mouth and open my ears. :-)2 people like this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
Awww what a lovely repsonse, thank you for those sweet words. You guy sounds lovely, you have a great man there!
@vandana7 (98778)
• India
22 Feb 10
Hi janey, my level of confidence differs based on type of crowd, and how many people are there in that crowd. :) If I am confident that the crowd is mostly as good but not much better, then I am pretty confident of talking. But if the person before me is somebody I am awe of, I've had it. :) And there are too many people who come in that category. :)
2 people like this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
I'm nervous in front of anyone really. I can involve myself in a meeting but I tend to skulk into the background rather than putting any ideas forward for fear of ridicule lol. Fortunately, I've not had to go to any boring meetings for quite some time!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Feb 10
My problem is that is second guess myself. I used to not do this, but I was never fully confident either. I do try to think of what I'm going to say before I say it, but I do find writing it out or typing it out is easier as we can erase before hitting "submit" or for instance, saying it out loud. Sometimes when I call a place that I need to know something I'll write down the questions I need to ask, whether I use the paper or not, it does help me to be able to word what I want to say more efficiently... I've got a memory problem, but well it's more of a not paying attention thing.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
Hello there! I do sympathise with your plight, I really do. At least you have a mechanism that helps you such as writing questions you want to ask before ringing someone up. I will have to try that one! The times I've been on the telephone and I've gone, "er, can you, er, help me with, er.." and the person on the other end must get fed up of waiting for me to finish my sentence. I get there in the end but it is an uphill battle my friend!
Makes me wonder how I've ever had a job in the past although the more I use the telephone the better I am using it, I don't have to think as much!
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Feb 10
It really helps to get your thoughts together when you write the questions down... and when you start to say er, and um you can refer to the questions... It'll get you off the phone quicker, and maybe not make you as nervous?
Some people stutter, some people just stammer (like you, and me) and some people have trouble pronouncing the words... I don't think any of these should ever hinder a job!
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
I agree with you totally. Some days I can speak and not have many problems and other days...it's like my brain knows what to say but my mouth doesn't. Do you know what I mean? If I get an interview in future I will make a point of writing things down. Strangely, whenever I have adopted that tactic in the past it worked because it helped me remember things better so there was no hesitation in my speech. Thanks for reminding me that it works!
Some days I can speak and not have many problems and other days...it's like my brain knows what to say but my mouth doesn't. Do you know what I mean? If I get an interview in future I will make a point of writing things down. Strangely, whenever I have adopted that tactic in the past it worked because it helped me remember things better so there was no hesitation in my speech. Thanks for reminding me that it works!1 person likes this
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
22 Feb 10
I hate speaking to people and likewise the thought of trying to articulate something to a small group of people let alone a large group fills me with dread. In fact I am well known on avoiding any situation where I am expected to talk to a group. I even hate communicating on the phone because there is something about just having to talk to people which makes me into a bumbling blithering fool, much worse than any Colin Firth or Hugh Grant character.
But then I am more comfortable of communicating through writing. Maybe it’s that when constructing some sort of prose you have the time to think, to craft and reassess before finishing. You can make sure you get your point across and it sounds right rather than being just a jumbled collection of words which fail to flow.
But although I am neither confident nor comfortable with being able to speak in a fluent manner it is not something which I greatly desire. In a way I have found a way round things and as such don’t mind not having that ability to hold people’s attention when speaking.
1 person likes this
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
22 Feb 10
Flattery will get you everywhere .... 
.... but in a way it proves a point because I can happily communicate and craft my response here but if asked something like this face to face I would struggle to come back with anything in the slightest bit interesting or intelligent.
I am the same though and happily spend the day in solitude with just the TV or radio to keep me company.
As for Colin Firth yes “A Single Man” came out on the 12th Feb here and it was much deserved award.
.... but in a way it proves a point because I can happily communicate and craft my response here but if asked something like this face to face I would struggle to come back with anything in the slightest bit interesting or intelligent.
I am the same though and happily spend the day in solitude with just the TV or radio to keep me company.
As for Colin Firth yes “A Single Man” came out on the 12th Feb here and it was much deserved award.1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
It's quite ironic that this guy millions of women drool over
(including myself) gets an award for playing a gay guy. There's nothing wrong with that though as it proves he's not a one-trick pony! Thank God for the QWERTY keyboard I say! Whoever invented the typewriter is a genius...as without the typewriter there would be no computer keyboards we know and take for granted today!
(including myself) gets an award for playing a gay guy. There's nothing wrong with that though as it proves he's not a one-trick pony! Thank God for the QWERTY keyboard I say! Whoever invented the typewriter is a genius...as without the typewriter there would be no computer keyboards we know and take for granted today!@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
Well, I have always admired your style of writing anyway so it seems to me you don't have to speak AT ALL if you don't want to! I can go all day without seeing a soul but, due to the fact I can express myself on MyLot or I have tasks to do (or I can speak to the cat, who doesn't judge lol) then I'm OK. I've always been fine in my own company. My brother is the same. However, Mum HATES being on her own even though Dad is mainly in the front room out of the way, anyhow lol. Strange woman!! She has this huge garden and actually LIKES being on her own there, on a gorgeous sunny day.
As for Colin Firth, way to go with his BAFTA, bless him! Has that film come out in the UK yet?
1 person likes this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
22 Feb 10
Hello, Janey. I'm happy with speaking and typing - in fact most people who know me would say I'm too happy to talk! I enjoy public speaking. Last month, our Scottish neighbours invited us to a Burns Supper - yes, we have them here in Spain - and I was asked to do the reply to the 'Address to the Lassies.' It's supposed to be humorous but kinf, and my neighbour said I was just the person to do it. Although I say it myself, it went down really well, and I got a standing ovation.
I'm very nervous beforehand, but I do prepare well, and once I stand up, I'm fine. I've been on a couple of tv quiz shows as well, and, although I'm nervous ahead of the event, I can put other things out of my mind and do what I have to.Basically, I love expressing myself any whichway, because I also do a lot of writing.
1 person likes this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
22 Feb 10
Hello, Janey - and thanks for the compliments. 
Yes, I did have a 'wee dram' before the speech, but not enough to make me incapable. Although these occasions are great fun, they also mean a lot to Scottish people - especially if they're away from home, so it would be very disrespectful to deliver a speech while the worse for wear due to the affluence of incohol. 
Yes, I did have a 'wee dram' before the speech, but not enough to make me incapable. Although these occasions are great fun, they also mean a lot to Scottish people - especially if they're away from home, so it would be very disrespectful to deliver a speech while the worse for wear due to the affluence of incohol. 1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
Well that's very true. I think we all become even more aware of where we are from when we leave (if that makes sense). Good for you my friend!
1 person likes this
@washingtonmark (367)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I think just about anybody would be more confident in typing or writing than speaking because they do not personally have to stand infront of an audience.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
I meant speaking in general, not necessarily to loads of people but in everyday life. Whenever I go to interviews, if I was able to read what I wanted to say instead of conveying it with spoken words from my head I'd have a good job by now. I hope you see what I mean. Thanks for your repsonse, by the way, it's much appreciated.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
23 Feb 10
Well I am a lot like you. Though I don’t know much about astrology, my sun sign is Virgo which I feel is the weakest of all zodiac signs. With its inherent introvert character and low self-confidence, shyness is my second nature. Just like you, speaking in front of a room full of known faces, is my worst nightmare. We have this monthly birthday celebration at office where a small token gift is given and the person whose birthday it is, receives and gives a small speech…a very informal affair with lots of leg pulling and general fun. Can you believe that I opted out of this ceremony just because I am too shy to make that small speech even to colleagues whom I’ve known for more than 11 years now (I made the silly excuse that I don’t want my birthday to be made public!) I am so very sick and tired of my tongue-tied nature and I’m no longer a starry-eyed teenager! *sigh* well, I guess nothing much can be done now…and yes BTW writing is obviously my chosen mode of communication LOL
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
24 Feb 10
Yes, but the world doesnt wait for us to settle down and open up...I've lost so many opportunities just because I could never be the go-getter, I could never beat my won drum...and I hated myself for that and withdrew more into my shell with my inner grudges...I just hate my sun sign...
anyways, next time I'm gonna tell God to send my as a scorpio...I just love their aggression and arrogance and the way they carry themselves to victory against all odds 
anyways, next time I'm gonna tell God to send my as a scorpio...I just love their aggression and arrogance and the way they carry themselves to victory against all odds @Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
I do feel for you as my husband is a Virgo like yourself. He is intelligent like YOU so please don't feel bad about not being able to speak in public, John is exactly the same. The in-laws wanted him to do a speech at our wedding do (which was actually a month after we were married in Vegas, but locally for friends, etc that couldn't come) but I put my foot down as he'd secretly told me that he didn't really want to do a speech. Luckily, we got our wish but it was so unkind of his parents to even want him to do this, knowing what he was like. I know him better than they do!! There is nothing wrong with being shy; I feel it is better to be like that as - in my experience, shy people are deep thinkers. They just keep a lot to themselves, that's all. I like that!
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
I am confident with speaking. Well, I am an instructor and have been conducting emergency courses for the last 8 years. This requires me to speak all the time. Of course, at first, I always have this butterfly in my stomach most especially during the first day considering that those around me are all strangers. But later on, I was able to gain confidence about myself. With respect to writing, I do write but not that very good at it. Perhaps If I would rate my writing skills, it is just on the average.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
Hello there jpso138 and zed_k4, many thanks for your responses, it is much appreciated. Yes, I suppose confidence is what it's all about as far as speaking is concerned and being an instructor on emergency courses will help with that. The more you do the better you will be at it. As for the writing; can't see anything wrong with it myself!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Hi, Janey1966. I am better at typing than I am speaking... In large crowd that is. I can speak well but I am more on the quiet side. I express myself better to people that I don't know by writing.. But to those that I know well, It tend to write better to.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
22 Feb 10
My answer is all mixed up... I am a better writer when I don't know a person.. But when I know a person well and feel comfortable around them, I will speak better. I only stutter when I get nervous, I am sure that most of us does. I can type good either way of how I know of a person. When I was a teenager, I used to keep a diary too.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
I am addicted to diary-writing, it is part of me that I cannot let go...and it has been so since I was 11. I am now 43 lol. That's a LOT of diaries!
Yes, I am the same with people I know. I am always shy whenever I start a new job. I have had instances whereby, because I hadn't gelled immediately with the people I'm with I got snotty responses from them, as though I didn't like them or something. It's not that I didn't like them; I couldn't gel with them because they were very strong women, strong-minded..or some would say "battle-axes" and I found them initimidating. This might be why I get along better with men as - in my experience, they call a spade a spade and if they don't like you...they TELL you! No messing about!
Yes, I am the same with people I know. I am always shy whenever I start a new job. I have had instances whereby, because I hadn't gelled immediately with the people I'm with I got snotty responses from them, as though I didn't like them or something. It's not that I didn't like them; I couldn't gel with them because they were very strong women, strong-minded..or some would say "battle-axes" and I found them initimidating. This might be why I get along better with men as - in my experience, they call a spade a spade and if they don't like you...they TELL you! No messing about!1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
23 Feb 10
Throughout my life I have found that I can get my point heard much better through my written wotds. I seem to have more flow with my thoughts when I write them down.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
I am the same as you my friend. I have become better as time marches on...but not brilliant at communicating verbally, unless I am annoyed at something, then I don't miss out any words at all lol!
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
23 Feb 10
Yes i feel more confident while i speaking more than writing .. because i think if i writing then i feel.. that is sufficient or not.. but when i speaking then mostly people listen my voice carefully.. and also they gave their response to me.. and it is confidential for me.. have a nice day and keep mylotting always..
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
Even though you say you are more confident in your speaking than writing, I feel there is a lot of potential there in the way you write. Thank you so much for your response, it really means a lot.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
Hello! Many thanks for your response and yes, we are very similar aren't we? I could type all day but talking? Er, no! LOL. You have a great day too my friend.
@binagupta (627)
• India
23 Feb 10
hello friends hey i am very much comfortable while speaking but sometimes my words are twisted which makes me embrace but i handle it in a very careful manner but sometimes i have to think before speaking so that i will not go wrong.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
If you speak as well as you can write you are on the right path my friend. Many thanks for your response, it is much appreciated.
@annitm24 (6)
• India
23 Feb 10
pretty much all my life i,ve sucked royally at speaking to people in order to communicate complex points,unless i was extreemly versed on the subject an even i make horrific grammatical and other errors when i get excited.sometimes people think i shutter when im speaking.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
I've understood you my friend so you can't be that bad...and welcome to MyLot. We are here to support you as much as you want us to.
@derek_a (10874)
•
22 Feb 10
Yes, that is very interesting about having Mercury in Pisces. My mother sun sign was Pisces and she would often find it difficult to communicate, escpecially if she becamse angry or excited about something. I have no idea where her planets were placed because we had no idea of her time of birth.
I have many planets, placed in Scorpio, which is another water sign. And whilst as a kid I found difficulty in communication I have managed to overcome this in adult life and as a therapist have run my own self-development groups where talking to groups of people was all important.
Astrological influences are very fascinating, but I view them more as challenges than absolutes. So I guess you could say that my task was to "come out of my shell" and become more extrovert. Like you, I write things doan a lot and always have done as it still helps to clear the thoughts. _Derek
_Derek1 person likes this
@dawnald (85136)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Feb 10
Way more confident writing unless I am in a situation that is completely comfortable for me.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
23 Feb 10
I know, it's great isn't it? 
I could never come up with that name for him in a million years!
I could never come up with that name for him in a million years! @Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
It's the same with me. I feel sorry for our Prime Minister at times because he's not very good in front of loads of people and he has to speak in front of them all the time. He's better than David Cameron (Tory opposition leader) who Mum calls "Oil of Olay" due to his shiny face hehe lol.
1 person likes this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
I could do well in both areas since during my school days even though i am shy but when it comes to oral recitation, reporting and stage acting i am not afraid to show what i know as long as it is graded but when i am back to myself again, i am not really the extrovert type, meaning i only becomes so vocal when it have to do with school activities. Likely, the things which i like to do most of the times is to read anything from articles from internet, newspaper , magazines, books and other sources. i also loves to write when i have a fresh ideas that it one way i could express my feeling and thoughts at the moment that I am writing. i could even concentrate to the topic which is forming in my mind to put it into writing. i think it is more easy to express oneself when one is not emotionally upset since if one is angry the mind is not relax ans so the writing outcomes is also affected. In live conversation it easy to know if the person is lying or pretend while if one is writing one could write all her imagination and real experiences like a diary being shared to anyone to much delight by the author it could become a sources of her lifetime earning when one submit articles and being paid per view.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
A very interesting response, my friend and thank you. I only once had to "star" in a play along with 3 other pupils at school. I only had a couple of lines but I hated all those faces in the crowd watching me. I greatly admire actors who can command an audience on the stage. I mean, how talented is that? Stand-up comedians are the same. Total admiration for them all.
I only once had to "star" in a play along with 3 other pupils at school. I only had a couple of lines but I hated all those faces in the crowd watching me. I greatly admire actors who can command an audience on the stage. I mean, how talented is that? Stand-up comedians are the same. Total admiration for them all.
@dilipmiester (932)
• India
22 Feb 10
i wont say that i am not too comfortable with speaking at all . i have no problems in speaking to any one straight but i find it difficult to speak with anyone in telephone . i dont know why ? i cant speak well with my friends or close relatives in phone for more than 2 minutes . i can speak to them in hours at straigt . but i can text to them well through phone or anything . in those situations only i find my self comfortable in texting than in speaking
i cant speak well with my friends or close relatives in phone for more than 2 minutes . i can speak to them in hours at straigt . but i can text to them well through phone or anything . in those situations only i find my self comfortable in texting than in speaking @Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
Thanks for that interesting response, it is much appreciated. I am fine with people I know on the telephone (for example, I can talk to Mum for hours) but anyone I don't know I just want to get off the telephone as soon as possible. Strange that isn't it? It's not like they can SEE us is it? I used to text a lot when it was a really popular thing to do but I have no mobile phone at present so I cannot text now. I hardly ever shorten words as I find it irritating, I don't know why! Perhaps it's my love of English that prevents me from texting words like "u" instead of "you." Haha!
1 person likes this
@universe2o6 (356)
• Brazil
22 Feb 10
I have a good dominiom over english and portuguese languages. I read a lot of books, magizine articals and I chat online dailey using both of the lnaguages. I have a good vocabulary deposit in both, so I can chat online in both formal and informal speeches when I feel like it. I have written reviews for many things like music and movies for many sites or blogs so my typing is very tuned up.
As for talking, I find myself to be very articulate, my level of 'shyness' in public is close to 0%. I am in a group of teatrical plays so I have a lot of training in the area of speaking in public. I am also a very high spirited guy, I like to talk to everyone and I'm also good at making people laugh. I'm kind good at differentiating informal speecha nd formal speech, as I've gone to several job interviews and I've surprised even myself at my level of intelectual talking. I do tend to say many phrases and expressions wwhich are higley informal, among friends, so I always fear of using these terms when I have to be formal. But i do train in the mirror every now and then to keep my toungue from getting tied.
Overall, I think I'm doing good in the 'language' traits of my life, I can type well and talk well, results of many years of actually training (reding, writing, acting). It's good to have a good ability to chat, it can get you almost anywhere in life!
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
22 Feb 10
Goodness me, how clever are you?! I wish I was good at the formal speech and using big words to express myself. I can do this quite easily in written form but if someone said to me the dreaded words, "sell yourself" or "what motivates you" I have big problems. My mind goes blank; my sweaty palms return and I babble on about nothing in particular until they get bored and go "onto the next question" usually only after about 30 seconds. Lol.
1 person likes this
