Long-Distance Relationships

Malta
February 23, 2010 3:07pm CST
Hi, I'm currently in a long distance relationship and have been in such a situation for around 4 months. Thankfully he will be coming home in 4 months time. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you feel? The first two months was a battle against temptation and also there were many tears and lots of fear. The temptations stopped after a while but the tears continued. When I saw him for a week in January the tears stopped a bit but still appear once in a while. I believe I've been handling it all pretty well now, I'm not crying that much and I have been completely faithful. What do you guys think? Has it made you stronger or weaker?
14 responses
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I'm in a serious long distance relationship that has been going on for the better part of two years. Something in addition to that, is we have a 12 year age gap. I'm 30, he's 19 almost 20.... We've both battled temptation, personal issues, issues with each other. The distance has definitely made us stronger.
• Malta
23 Feb 10
You think you'll be able to be together soon? You very much seem to deserve it. I hope it all works out for you. I'm not one of those people who judges age and such, actually I'm quite a *no boundaries* kind of girl.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
23 Feb 10
Im hoping that it continues to work out. We seem to get closer each and every day, though, and typically spend hours a day talking online and via SMS. I don't care who judges us based on our ages... It just shows that I can still keep up with the younger crowd while maintaining what makes us 29 for the third year in a row folks be 29 for 3 years in a row lol
@winiepu (42)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Long distance relationship could break up with high probability. Too many uncertainties are involved with long distance relationship. Although people can communicate everyday with each other through internet and phone, they still find hard to overcome the space between them. This leads to misunderstanding frequently between people. People in long distance relationship also have greate opportunity cost. From time to time we hear a lot of story about temptations and betrayals in such long relationship. People are unfaithful with each other, when they meet others around them. However we still can see a lot of people surviving in this relationship. They know how to strenthen their relationship and find a lot of things to fill their life. In this way they believe each other and their life is busy and full of dream. As time goes by, they can adjust their life to this situation, thus making long distance shorter. Good luck to you! Hope you can find your true love in long distance.
• Malta
25 Feb 10
Thanks so much. I just can't wait for him to be home because it is absolute torture without him.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
hi beckie I was in a long distance relationship before and until now. Before it was just a commitment, But now,I'm a legally committed. When I was 20 years old I have a boy friend for 1 year and about a months, But suddenly I need to leave for another country to work,before I leave we've been discussing it for how many times and everything was Ok, we both made our promises. But after 2 months being apart the feelings are fading a little by little until it was totally gone.. And so we ended breaking up. After 3 months I met a guy, and this guy now is my husband, we got married but we need to be apart again cos of his work..And now, I am legally committed with long distance relationship.. And absence makes the heart grow fonder.But still it depends with the person.. If you're really devoted with each other.no worries.
• Malta
25 Feb 10
Im proud of you for not giving up on long-distance relationships. You seem to be like me, you learn from mistakes but keep your mind open. Congratulations on the marriage and I hope it only grows stronger everyday.
24 Feb 10
Long-distance relationships can certainly work - think of all the couples who are forced to be apart, like those from service families. However, you seem to find being faithful quite difficult and the phrase "the first two months were a battle against temptation" makes me worry for you. The poor chap hadn't been gone two months and you were "battling temptation"?! You seem to be focusing on the fidelity angle as you mention being faithful once again in your post. I would have thought being apart would have thrown up other issues too - the pain of separation, fears you were growing apart, the difficulty of meeting often enough. Take a good hard look at your relationship and decide for yourself whether it's what you, personally, need or can cope with. If it's a real struggle, then I would gently suggest that it's probably not.
• Malta
24 Feb 10
We hadn't been together for long, that's why first 2 months were tempting. It's quite different when you had been with the person for a long time. He too admitted having a hard time at first. But then when he came down in the third month, for a week, I was reminded of just what I'm fighting for and things changed considerably. He's going to come down in 4 months time, and finally stay here permanently, so I'm not worried XD there obviously were fears of growing apart, there were a few weeks were things got very hard because we were just having silent moments, and those are never good. And when we weren't silent, we were arguing. We spoke a lot about it and solved the problems and now are back on track. I'm gonna hang on for these last few months, cause I can't imagine me without him.. It's a killer. But thanks for your concern.
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
long distance relationships seldom lasts, maybe because the situation is really difficult for both parties. me and my first boyfriend was in that situation, we thought ours will last, we are into relationship for four years, we are very much in love back then. we thought we could already make it to our dream wedding but situation change when temptations came in. i learned that he meet someone there and became very close with each other, they eventually become lovers. things like that could always happen. but different things happen in different ways, i hope your's will be a different story. continue loving my friend.
• Malta
24 Feb 10
I'm very sorry. But thanks XD
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Im currently in a very strong and loving relation right now with my army boyfriend for almost 2 years. He's been deployed in Afghanistan, but he makes sure he never misses a day to contact and reach me. He calls, he text, he gets online no matter how busy he is. He would leave messages when he's on mission. We shared happy and sad stories and we both cry and get mad sometimes but still we are very much inlove with each other. Its still going on right now and guess what we have never been together. He's still in the army, my country is in the red flag of the US military so they only time he can come here is when he gets out this year. We share a connection, we trust each other,we share one heart beat and most of all we communicate and reach out to each other, i think that makes us stronger.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
24 Feb 10
hey there.... i feel i can a bit understand your problem coz i have been in a long distance realtionship for 7 years..... the one i love stays around 800 miles from me. we seldom meet.earlier it used to be once in a year then it became once in two years.for the past 1 1/2 year we have been meeting in something like once in 6 months.i know how it feels when u have to stay away.... its been 7 years n my tears havent stopped even now.......... when u meet the person u feel good,u chersih every moment. but once the person is gone. u end up missing the person more n wanting to be him/her even more as far as i know this only makes u love ur partner more n more as time passes by........thats what happened with me atleast
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
I have a friend that have had a Long Distance Relationship, Her girlfriend was working on Denmark. Her girlfriend always warned my friend that He should behave on our place, because when she come back they will marry each other. Two months ago my friend resign to his Job then he don't have money to contact her girlfriend in abroad. Then after that my friend went to the parents house of her girlfriend because that day is the birthday of her girlfriend the suddenly the younger brother (8 years old)of her girlfriend told him that "her sister got a new bf". Then after that she called her girlfriend that why she didn't told that... then their plans has gone.. :( That is why I don't want to have a Long Distance Relationship because I know one of you would cheat. :(
@cherrc (666)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
dear, it's a commitment. no matter how many temptations there would be and u keep holding on with ur relationship with the person means u totally commit urself to be faithful to him. it's not an easy task knowing for a fact that u dont see ur partner often. what u did is great! well, i've been in a long distance relationship for one year now and not in the position to know whether it would lead us to something better. during the earlier stage was a paranoia syndrome. plus fighting over temptations. we both don't know for now what comes next and we're both happy. we process each moment everyday, one step at a time. :)
@anc457 (186)
• Thailand
24 Feb 10
same situation- for me were over 14 months now and still OK, we only see each other every after after three months for just a week or less. depends on holidays etc. am in asia my hubby's in europe. most of the times we're meetng half way. anyway we chat almost everyday and calls almost everyweek. alittle bit expensive though but that's life. hope sometime we'll be together as well. handling relationship depends on both parties, needs talk and understanding ----- and patience hehehe
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
I had experienced long distance relationship but it didn't work out. My previous boyfriend got tempted with another girl. I was even the last to find out coz even though his sister knew about the other relationship, no one told me about it. I felt so down when i heard his confession but later on i got over it and moved on with my life. Now i'm happily married. This is my experience but i'm not saying your long distance relationship will not work out. Just be faithful to each other for the relationship to go strong and it will last. Good luck in your relationship!
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Same situation as you, my boyfriend and me were in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years already but not straight 2 years since we saw each other for a week last July 2009 and December 2009. We were in a full long distance relationship more than a year (April 2008 to July 2009). At first, it is very difficult to handle since we were always together in our first 3 years. We never thought of break-up and we’ve been faithful to each other up to now. We always tried our best to communicate with each other often. We have some misunderstanding and fights but it does not take too long. We have plans and I think that makes our relationship stronger. I have a plan to visit him this Holy Week and I’m already excited.
24 Feb 10
I haven't been in that kind of relationship myself but It can work as long as you both put in the required effort and commitment, I have heard of relationships like that not working because of trust issues and you need to be able to trust each other. I can't see it working all that well if it's like six months at a time but shorter times would be easier.
@Mike4me (567)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Oh I'm in a long distance relationship and I can say that it made me and is making me stronger. I never had times that I can say that temptations are everywhere. I believe that you only get tempted when you really don't know what you want in your life, or you are just not sure and you're taking a lot of stuff in your mind into considerations. When i first started my relationship, I made sure if it is what I really want, can I do this with him far from me? or Do I really want to be with him that bad that I will do everything just to be with him and stay with him? And I answered all of those questions, and they are the ones guiding me throughout my relationship. Oh don't forget about the most important thing as well, you love for your partner. What you are experiencing is missing the person you love, It does happen to me all the time, like all the time and most of the day, I cry, but crying DOESN'T mean you're weak. :) just be yourself and show your love how much you miss him, it helps.