Separation of husband and wife?Will it affect the child emotionally?

@cloud31 (5811)
February 23, 2010 11:42pm CST
Does it affect the child innocents or would it affect young children's emotions when couples got separated and children will not be able to have a happy family?What do you think about separation? will it lead confusion to young children or will they feel rejected?How would they get affected to this?I am not pretty sure about how would they they feel about their parents separation. I just want to know what are your views about this? Kindly share your opinions about this topic.Thank you and happy Lotting!
4 people like this
24 responses
@daliaj (5689)
• India
24 Feb 10
Seperation of parents will have an effect on the kids for sure. I know how mad or tensed I will be when I see my parents fighting. No kid will prefer to live with step parents. They won't be very comfortable with step parents as they are comfotable with their own parents. It is good to avoid seperation especially if you have kids. It is a fact that people can't compramise on many things only becuase they have kids. But, please think about the future and emotions of kids before seperation.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
Hello daliaj Absolutely! children always longing for a happy family, they want to keep their parents company no matter what happened,I hope in every family there's not much about separation, unless its a worse case otherwise keep the family intact for children's sake.Revive love between you and your partner and make the best for your children. Thank you friend and Happy lotting!
• United States
25 Feb 10
Being the child of parents who split up when he was about 10, I will say it does effect the kids. I was effected and went to counseling for a few years, mainly for the reasons my parents split up: my dad made things hard. While it was hard, it was the better way. I now have no contact with my dad and my life has improved to better than when my parents were still together. My point with this is that keeping the family intact may not be the best choice for the child's future. I am much happier now that I don't have my dad in my life. I have even started calling him by his first name when I refer to him. The only way I have contact with him is when he calls...drunk. By the way, I'm 18 now.
@cloud31 (5811)
25 Feb 10
It is hard for children to understand matters when parents are involved many couples try to make their marriage works but its hard force one's feeling if its not work for both,as you have said somewhat you find your life improved to better than when your parents still together.Its about how everyone deals with emotions,you have did it because you have courage to face it...Anyway I'm glad you make yourself strong at your young age. Happy Lotting and God bless.
@rakesh284 (1473)
• India
24 Feb 10
I think this will definitely affect child emotionally because he might see others living happily with their mom as well as dad, he might realize this as soon as he starts understanding and will think that his parents are not co-operative so he living with either one of them. Later he may get curious to know his mother/father who has left him. He may also feel ignorant and annoying to the parent with whom he is staying currently. If people want to marry then they should take a oath that they will remain together for the lifetime.
@cloud31 (5811)
26 Feb 10
Oath will not be as good when couple starts to fight no matter how they tried to make their marriage works in many other way they will find themselves in situation they regretting about,so they finally decide to separate their ways instead of hurting each other and stay together with so much conflict. I just hope that oath is for life,unfortunately most marriage just last for a while. Happy Lotting!
@rakesh284 (1473)
• India
1 Mar 10
Marriages didn't last for a while and last for the lifetime. Especially in my country as it is our culture and so there is very less divorce or break ups after marriage but still there are some exceptions. And every country should have such culture and should avoid concept of live-in or dating other person after marriage so that trust factor will always be there and this may create a firm bond between Husband and Wife.
@common_man (1799)
• India
24 Feb 10
In the event of separation of husband and wife it is child who goes to emotional turmoil. Child's delicate mind finds it very difficult to accept the fact that he/she will not be able to meet / see / talk to one of his/her Parents.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
I also feel that way,i think couple should consider the minor prior to separation. Thank you for sharing your opinion.Happy lotting!
• India
24 Feb 10
yes, thats right. There are many cases where, couple on verge of getting separated, have decided to stay togather, in interest of their child. The child bound couple togather, and slowly they develop love for each other again.
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Separation, annulment, or divorce definitely affects a child. We all think that children are children and they are incapable of feeling what adults feel, but that's not true. Sometimes a kid feels more depressed than his or her parents. I've seen many kids go through the process of their parents separation. A young three-year old may not be able to fully express his/her emotions but it greatly manifests in his/her behavior especially in school. In an effort for parents to understand their children better even seek the help of a development pediatrician or a child psychologist. I know of parents who stay in a painful relationship for their children, but I think that that shouldn't be the case. If there is no more way for them to patch things up and have already exhausted all the possibilities of making the marriage work they MUST separate because in the end it will be the kids who will suffer the most. By doing this, parents can only but provide a strong support system for their kid/s.
@cloud31 (5811)
26 Feb 10
You are right of saying children doesn't have enough knowledge when situation wenr wrong with their parents.Only parents know exactly what makes children understand what was going on.Strong support and care of what children needs with this kind of situation. Happy lotting!
• United States
24 Feb 10
I believe it is even more harmful for a child to grow up in an environment where their parents are fighting all of the time and are visibly unhappy.
@cloud31 (5811)
26 Feb 10
I also think that way! happy lotting!
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
well my parents are separated indefinitely. i will have to find a way to get my father back here at home when we're already off to have our own lives so they could keep each other company when we're gone, and we won't have to worry about their whereabouts respectively when they grow old. but no really. for now i find that it's better that they're not together. i'd rather that they're living peacefully apart, than preying on each other under the same roof. i've become a bit closer to my dad now, but my mom's been overly melodramatic, as if i need to take sides. but there. by experience, i didn't really intend to over analyze the situation. i don't really think we intend to understand what's going on, we just grow out of it. but since i was the youngest and their only girl, it affected me in a way that i'm worried about them and how they'll be when they grow old, and we have a life to live. hence the first paragraph. i also find it hard to get into relationships, or believing in the concept of `forever`. it's like i've grown to be philophobic or something like it. but i hope someday i can resolve it somehow.
@cloud31 (5811)
26 Feb 10
hello hanna in many circumstances we cannot predict things and situation to happened, and for so many reasons we cannot hold on things we actually cannot hold onto.But all situations can be resolve if you have to make way in resolving them..I hope your parents will make a way for them both to stay and live happily somehow. thanks for sharing ..Happy Lotting!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 Feb 10
I think it is normally the children that really suffers, when their parents get a seperation. It can have a devastating affect on any child. Any child needs a stable an loving home to grow. TATA.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
Absolutely i agree with you.Thank you for responding!
@munnangi (25)
• India
24 Feb 10
if the child is suffered by any of those two poeple then it is compulsory to get sepeated
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
that's the best way to do otherwise the child will suffer more.
@munnangi (25)
• India
24 Feb 10
while marriage a couple promises they will share each of the sorrows and happinessess but y do they forget after aa course of period , r they playing with each others life?
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
Yah that is obviously happening now a days, we cannot predict what will happen next somewhat still hoping marriage will be as sacred as they both bow infront of those people and in heaven. happy lotting..
@munnangi (25)
• India
24 Feb 10
yes it affects the baby a lot and a couple should never got a thought of seperating frm one another, marriage is the one , excusing each other and sharing happies and sorrows with each other , but never a baby should suffer of these two people and they even dont have the right to hurt the baby at any cost
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
hello mun, I hope all marriage will survive but how much they tried to keep, sometimes they must have to part their ways for so many reasons,in previous topic we had here on Lot, its hard and unfair to keep each other and keep marriage just for the sake of the child,the fact that marriage with no love consider as nothing and the question" Will you stay for the sake of your child? many of us may say "YES" and some may say "NO" so what do you think the best way to do? To be honest with oneself and do each responsibility to make things goes well with the kids even you're separated with your partner,the responsibility to be father, to be there with your child and let him feel your not abandoning him/her,just the reason is between you and your partner its about him/her. Happy Lotting and God bless.
• India
24 Feb 10
ya i think the children will feel bad and they will be affected emotionally if their parents are separated . i think the child will require the love of both the father and the mother and separation between them will have a lot of hard feelings in them ./ they affected in many ways and they will have some of longitivity in them . its surely affects the children .
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
hello dilipmiester, yah i have the same thought as you, it may affect the child without both parents by their side its hard for them to understand why it has to be end like that,They seems rejected though its not the way it goes, they might just feel that way. Thank you for responding.Happy lotting!
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
24 Feb 10
Yes it would most definitely affect the child. With the parents split up the child would end up losing out on time with both parents because it would have to spend time with each parent instead of with them both. My parents have been divorced since I was born so it didn't really play that big of a role in my life because I've been used to being just raised by my mother. The longer a child has to bond with their parents though the harder the divorce will probably be on them.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
hello jambi you have similar situation with one of our co lotter,sad to know that your also a victim of separation of your parents, i strongly believe that it would be good and be the best if parents will do their part in raising up their children. Happy lotting!God bless!
@allknowing (56782)
• India
24 Feb 10
The decision to separate in itself would have already created enough heat resulting in turmoil of the worst kind among kids. Surely there would be wordy warfares not to exclude physical assaults, etc. Where there should be a one big happy family atmosphere here we have a situation where the house would be divided certainly not a welcome thing for kids. Need I say more?
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
That's well enough and its a great pleasure sharing your opinion regarding this topic. Thank you and happy lotting!
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Definitely it would. However, it depends on the person whom the children grow up with how to help them cope up with this crisis that they were forced to face particularly it they are still too young to understand why it happened. I'm a single mom of three who brought up my kids alone. I made my kids understand that things like this are sometimes beyond our control and did not instill hate for their father but i saw how my youngest son had been envious of children whose father sends them off to and fetch them fetch them from school. I know that until now this negative feeling has not been healed as he refused to understand why a parent could just ignore his kid like what he feel in his case.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
I agree with you so attention should be given to a child to avoid this kind of turmoil,parents should know how exactly to deal with their children when situation like this cannot be control. Thank you for sharing..Happy lotting!
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
actually,the moment a child saw and witness the argument of their parent. the child emotions also might be affected, how much more if thier parent decided and agreed to separate?.. this decision made by thier parent may lead them to become confuse on thier surroundings, inconpetent of what they want to do. the parent has the responsibility to be the guardian and discipline to teach their children. if they got agreed to separated and have thier own lives, it will lost not only their relationship as a couple but thier oppurtunity to become a good parent and model and most of all the good future awaits for thier children.
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
Yah absolutely it affect children when things went wrong with parentsm, and i can say that its hard to cope up feelings being rejected, although its nott exactly how it means but children will think and feel it that way. Thank you for sharing and Happy Lotting!
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
I'ts always the childs lose when parents decided to seperate. No matter how hard we try to provide them their needs and how much love we can give to give them as a child it is always not enough. Im speaking in my own experience. No matter how hard my mom raise us siblings still at the back of our minds lies "what if's". What if our parents did not separate? will it be a lot happier? will it be a lot better. Are we not worth enough to be love since our father left us? Are we not enough to be keep and taken cared of? those were some of the questions I had when I was a child. And still now the pain is still there. Though how much I tried to think of a better things that had happen to me still the pain hides somewhere beyond my heart. don't know when it will heal or will it ever heal. Only time can tell...
@cloud31 (5811)
24 Feb 10
So sad to know that your a victim of this situation, I hope you can totally overcome the consequences it brought to your life..Now i understand that it can affect children afterall.Yah i agree that if parents will make their both ways and share responsibilities in raising up children it would be happier and better. Open up your heart sheen to forgive and accept things it will be better for your own family. Happy Lotting.God bless You!
@HCecilia (12)
• Brazil
25 Feb 10
Yes, of course it will. Because it's not every time that the child's father/mother will be there. and every person needs their parents to teach them what's right and what's wrong and help them when needed! so the parents will be a missing factor in the child's life.
@totor_53 (223)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
of course it would affect the child emotionally because they would feel a great lose on their part. on the case of an infant, that child would more likely to be a stranger in their life for they will forever seek the love of a mother/father.
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I think im in a good position to state my views about this. Being together or being separated always affects the children's emotions. If two couples stay married but fight like strangers everyday, exposing the children to domestic violence is just as bad scene as being separated. So when i have to choose for the lesser evil, i chose to break the marriage ties and hope to work hard so that my children will recover from it. And can i just say with pride, that my children have survived a broken marriage! And they came to realize they prefer to live peacefully and accept the fact that their parents can't live together harmoniously. Takes time, i just gave all my best to give them love and assure them , that its not their fault at all that their parents got separated. Children suffer from domestic violence. With separation,they have a better chance to survive and become emotionally stabled adults.
@EARLZHAN (938)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
Yes.. absolutely.. the child will really suffer emotionaly since he/she doesn't want to lose both of his/her parents. To avoid that kind of problem the parents must find a solution for their problem in their relationship. If the only solution is to separate from each other the parents should find a way to make the child understand the situation. It can help the child to adjust frm a very complicated situation which is created by his/her parents.