Will you change your religion if your lover ask this to you?

Romania
February 24, 2010 11:39am CST
You change your religion that you have from your parents, because of love for your future husband or wife? If your hus/wife ask you this, will you be agree? Do you think you can keep your religion , and future spouse can keep one on his? What religion will have your future children? From my point of view, I think religion is something that involves free will, I think two people can love them and keep every religion and future children can be allowed to choose what religion you are older have chosen. You were in such a situation and what decision you take?
9 people like this
55 responses
@coolcoder (2020)
• United States
24 Feb 10
First off, I'd be sure that the man I marry is already Catholic. That solves the problem right there. Hypothetically speaking, however, no, I wouldn't change my religion for anyone. This is one of the rare times when I say that it's either my way or the highway, and if a man can't handle that, then I want nothing to do with him.
2 people like this
• Romania
24 Feb 10
Okay, but if you love him, you will refuse marry with him just because he have another religion?
1 person likes this
• Australia
25 Feb 10
Well said coolcoder. Marianna, like coolcoder.. I wouldn't think of dating someone outside of my beliefs
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Hi both,but love is blind, religion may be an impediment to be with someone who is not your religion?
@dipak06 (913)
• India
24 Feb 10
i will never change my religion for anybody...i love my religion whatever it may be...and if anyone will love me she should accept me with my religion...i can not say strongly whether my wife will belong to be from the same religion or not because no one can say what happen in future ...but i am not going to change my identity...
2 people like this
• Romania
24 Feb 10
but if she will have other religion, you will ask her to change her religion?
2 people like this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Asking another to change his/her religion just so one feel comfy being married to the other is disrespectful (both of the other AND God!), arrogant, rude & faithless. How does anyone who takes God seriously do such a thing?! Maggiepie "Our Constitution was made only for a moral & religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." ~~President John Adams
@Jennlk84 (4219)
• United States
24 Feb 10
When I dated seriously I would take religion into consideration. Luckily pretty much everyone I dated was a similar denomination Christian as I am. My husband and I have very similar beliefs and were able to agree on a church. I don't think I'd be able to "change religions" for someone because that would require me to change my beliefs and that's not something that I want to do.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
You may have to accept his religion because of tolerance, and you keep yours?
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Feb 10
"Have to??" No...the only thing we "have to" do is please God! And God is not pleased by people whose faiths are chucked aside for any reason! "I would rather that a man were hot or cold. He that is lukewarm I will vomit up out of My mouth!" ~ God Maggiepie "Our Constitution was made only for a moral & religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." ~~President John Adams
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Feb 10
No, I wouldn't and I don't think it's right to do so. You should only convert to a religion if you believe in it. There's nothing wrong with taking instruction in the other person's religion and finding out though.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
In my opinion, it should change your religion, you believe in something, change a name with another is often a stumbling block, love can make miracles, but can destroy life too. Religion means telerancy and love
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Feb 10
Hello Marianna, My ex husband was an Atheist and I respected this. Im Catholic and we got married in a court of law. My priest used to tell me that if it didnt work out with him, I could always get married in Church!! I wouldnt ask anyone to change religion for me. I have NO right to do so. Religion is private and I would respect someone I love too much to have them change. I would expect the same respect back. If not. I wouldnt marry someone who would ask me to change my religion for him. No way. If he can disrespect me for religion, he will for other things as well. Its not a good start either way.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Hi, remember about a story what i heard few years ago...a Christian Orthodox woman got in love with a muslim man, and they decided to marry. Love each other very much, and she accept his religion, as he accept her with her religion, and they marry in a court of low, no problems. But you know a Christian girl want to be bride with the white dress is a dream of every girl, to feel for a day princess. So much this man loved her, and even if he was Muslim, he made a surprise, and brought a white wedding dress, he bring a Christian priest at home, and get married and her religion, without his family to knows. It was an admirable gesture on his part, and that means true love. Do not you think so?
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
25 Feb 10
No. I think that it's very disrespectful to ask someone to do that. I figure if you like me enough to marry me, you realize I'm an entire package and you don't get to just pick the parts you like. Human beings don't work that way.
• Romania
25 Feb 10
You're right, love means tolerance. first of all, to live nice and clean and correct, if we accept someone as is, with all it has, in rest are just empty words. he must accept you as you are and you must accept him as he are; is simple, this mean to love somebody
@kaylayoe (295)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I don't really follow any religion. I believe what I choose to believe. I love god and all his creations but I don't know enough about religion to follow one. If I did and my current boyfriend asked me to switch I would in a heartbeat. I love him so much I would do almost anything for him.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Love is the most beautiful feeling, the purest, and helps us to live as best we can. But I apologize, I can not say that i would do just anything for love, even if is the greatest love of the this world, you will steal, you will kill, you will lie for your lover? This is about principles of life, not about religion.
@olisaur (1932)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I kind of agree with you- I wouldn't convert to the same religion as my spouse just because. I believe in what I feel I should believe in. I respect other people's beliefs, but I would never MAKE myself, or anyone, believe in something.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Hi, i am Christian Orthodox, so I was raised with fear of God, not a practitioner, not a fanatical, parents and grandparents I have learned that religion is in the soul, in characters, and the first rule is tolerance, and never ask someone to change their religion, that means you believe in God to accept, to love, to respect, and forgive, no matter which language do all this and how to name your religion.
@DavidJan (15)
• United States
24 Feb 10
religion has nothing to do with love/family. Actually I don't have any special religion now.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Love is a mixture of each religion in power to forgive or reconcile.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
24 Feb 10
if i had a religion that i practiced and believed in strongly, then no. however, i don't. therefore, i say i would change my religion to his. i only say this because he doesn't follow any religion faithfully either. just like most people, he was brought up one way, but not practicing anything now. he also wouldn't intentionally lead us into anything crazy or bad. if he got us into a religion that didn't go with the things we BOTH already believe inside ourselves, . for instance, sometimes there are strange cults. he would automatically suggest we remove ourselves from it...waaaay early in the game. he's a good person, so i would see what was up with him. he also wouldn't pressure me, or stop loving me because i wouldn't. this is not what his personality is like.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
In my opinion, faith in God is in our souls, inside, not the church where we go or where we worship , the best religion, is religion good souls, fear to God, to love people and power to forgive, the rest are only slogans and things that make us lose the essence of faith and life . What i must change?
• United States
24 Feb 10
I will never change my religion for a man. This would be giving up who I am as a person. This man that loves me so much would never ask this of me.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
If you love me, accept me the way i am with all what i am like human with my religion, with 10 kids, if i have, with everything....if not, not! i am right?
@HansonFan (1659)
• United States
24 Feb 10
No. Thats one thing that needs to be discussed right off. If the two religions are not compatible there are going to be too many arguments over it and children might never happen because of it! Seriously, though, a religion is something you believe in and your boyfriend or girlfriend should never attempt to try to change something like that. If the two religions are similar enough, teach the children a mixture of both and let them choose which one they like better.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Hi, first religia means tolerance, you love the guy next you, and never forcing him to accept something he does not believe, tolerance and wisdom are the two stones in a relationship, we need respect and understanding, however religion is not a coat that you can change when you want, maybe your partner will respect you more if you support the ideas, because he fell in love with you, not your religion
@oindy54 (3446)
• India
24 Feb 10
I would not change my religion if I were in such a situation.I expect my lover to understand that,and if he loves me truly then surely the difference between our religions should not bother him.If it does I shall try to explain to him that it really is a matter of praying to one God that has different names in different religions.Ultimately it is the same universal force to whom we are all offering our prayers and seeking grace.So if we follow different religions,it should make no difference to our love.Because we love and care for each other,we should give more importance to the person rather than the person's religious beliefs.I think a spirit of tolerance and understanding are the bases of a relationship,and if I am fortunate enough to love a human being who is tolerant and broad-minded,I hopefully will not be told to change my religion by him. If I married a person of another religion then I would try and inculcate the positive values of both our religions in my children.I will teach them that love for humanity is the ultimate thing they have to learn to possess and religion is only a path to that,a sort of a guidance for us-both mental and spiritual.
1 person likes this
• Romania
25 Feb 10
Good answer, and is in my acceptance, human value lies not in religion that we have or that we please God, however He is only one even if we call them differently, maybe this can be a stumbling block for two people who love, and always can find solutions.
• Canada
24 Feb 10
No, I will not change my religion for anyone. Religion can't just be changed like a pair of shoes. My husband did not change his religion for me either. Religion is too personal to change just because of another person.
1 person likes this
• Romania
24 Feb 10
My opinion is that this is most wise decision, when two people really love
• India
24 Feb 10
Not really. If one can love without thinking of religion as barrier, one can live with that person without changing the religion.
1 person likes this
• Romania
24 Feb 10
so,each with his religion?
1 person likes this
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I have heard of many cases like this, where a man should change his religion because the woman's parents wouldn't agree or permit their marriage otherwise or it was the request of the partner, or vice versa, especially in my region because the population is consists of various religions mainly Christianity and Islam. As for me, I don't think I could. I believe that when you truly love somebody, it must be unconditional therefore must not require a forced change of anything at all be it religion or lifestyle. In my experience, it is usually the muslims that require their partner to convert before marriage. I sometimes find that insulting or offensive but then it is the individual's choice so I cannot interfere with their decision.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I think its very important to have a same religion on a family because its a key for unity. If on a sunday morning, two of your family member will go to a catholic church, one will go to a islam church and one will go to a christian church what does it looks like? Religion is very important in uniting a family. If both of you has different religion, you should have a talk and try to participate to one's religion so you can figure out whats the best for the family. Parents should decide on what religion to follow and let them guide their children to the path where they are. Beside, children cannot decise yet for the right religion for them. When the right time comes, they also have the free will to decide on what religion to follow when its time for them to decide for their family.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
sure if i think that it will help us have a peaceful life. the said that sometimes one must sacrifice for the one you love just to show them how much you love them. and one must appreciate it. its hard to make decision of course specially if you know that its not the belief you grow up with. so the other partner must also understand. somehow, acceptance still the best and respect one's belief.
@Mady2791 (547)
• United States
25 Feb 10
But then it would not be honest with God and yourself.
• Bangladesh
10 Mar 10
No, ma'am. I'll never do that. I'm a Muslim and love my religion more than my life. That's why I'll a Muslim woman to follow the rules of Islam to the fullest as much as possible. Have a nice day.
@figjam00 (1450)
• India
1 Mar 10
I think if I have a lover who asks me to change my religion then is he my true lover? I think otherwise. Religion is something that is imbibed in us from childhood so its pretty hard for me to change my religion. I might change it but I won't do justice to the other religion for sure.