do you apologise or wait for people to forget the issue?

@ksmita (515)
India
February 24, 2010 2:13pm CST
hi. many a time there were arguments either with family,friends, colleuges, strangers..but i hardly find anybody givinig up and apologising..how hard it could be to say sorry. i still use three magic words- thank you,sorry,and please -generously. but never got it in return. strangers we can ignore, but imagine friends saying something harsh or rude in your face and don't even have the courtesy to say 'sorry'. they take you for granted and think you'll forget everything and things will be normal again. personally, i can take strangers insult, but if it comes from closed ones, then it hurts!
5 people like this
25 responses
• Canada
24 Feb 10
Hello Ksmita, If someone close to me hurts my feelings, I'll take it in stride and sort of put it aside even if it hurts. If a stranger says something rude on the other hand, unlike you, thats when I draw the line. I'll let them know to their face!! I will say Im sorry if I notice Ive said the wrong thing to anyone, family, friends or strangers. I also say thank you and please easily. It doesnt cost anything to say those words and it means a lot.
3 people like this
@GADHISUNU (2164)
• India
25 Feb 10
I do say sorry if I had really hurt someone. But in my life such situations arise very rarely. For I am a very careful speaker, in public, by that I mean when I am speaking to others. But there are situations with my spouse when frequently sparks fly, in the heat of anger but then most of the time my wife only says sorry for almost invariably she would have begun it all. She would also be the first to speak and say sorry et al. But in the rarest of the cases where I had been nasty I had said sorry. But most often she will demand and take it. I have a strange spouse who thinks fighting like street dogs is communication.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
25 Feb 10
It depends on the person and the situation. Quite often if I know I might be in the wrong I'll appologize, but if I don't then I let it go. Quite often its not worth bringing up a situation or making something worse then it needs to be. Nor, should I have to take the blame if I'm not the one at fault.
2 people like this
@wythe25 (96)
• United States
25 Feb 10
If I feel that the problem is my fault, I will apologize. However, I don't mind if it's the other persons fault and they don't apologize, as long as it's nothing really serious. Otherwise I expect it. If the topic is both our faults, and I apologize, I expect an apology back. If I don't apologize, then I don't think it's my fault or we can just get over it.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Feb 10
I do the same as you do, I always apologize when ever I do something wrong to someone, I have a lot of pride but I try always to put everything aside and say that I am sorry. Some people believe that if you don't talk about the problems people will forget about, wrong, people will remember and will resent that you didn't apologize, or clarify issues that you may be having. I think also apologies are important because it let them know the other person that you are humble enough to realize that you did something wrong that hurt them.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13045)
25 Feb 10
If i was the person that had done something wrong or been nasty to a person i would always say sorry as i would expect someone to say sorry to me if they were the one that was being like that.I think there are alot of people that will never say sorry as they are the ones that think it is ok to be like that to other people.Perhaps i was brought up by my parents to always say sorry when upsetting someone.
@brotha (228)
• United States
25 Feb 10
It really does depend. I'm the type of person that doesn't like saying no to people or disappoint them. When I get in arguments and I really I'm clearly being rude, I usually apologize pretty soon after, unless it's someone I really don't have much respect for, in which case I probably won't apologize, but it would be a conscious matter. I'm not the kind of person to not realize that something is an issue and think that everything is okay, so I usually give it some thought!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Feb 10
hi ksmita I love discussions that really make me think like yours just did. I usually always thank the care givers who serve our meals and the nurse who doles out our medications. They work hard and I doubt if they are overpaid at all. besides living here in thie retirement center if you want care givers to be friendly with you it does not hurt to show your gratitude, because you never knw when you really may need their help.Yes you are right, st rangers do not return the favor, thats okay but people whom we love that never say thanks, or sorry that can really sting.It is just simply common courtesy for us to thank our friends and family, we should always be ready to do that.
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
25 Feb 10
I don't wait for people that he/she forget the issue.. because i thinks.. if sometimes by mistakes if i hurting somebody or if i say any unusual things which may hurt to somebody then i apologize for my mistake.. because it's my nature that i don't want to see sad to anybody.. and this situation were created by me.. so i apologize for my mistake.. have a nice day and keep mylotting always..
1 person likes this
25 Feb 10
Hello, My Name is ian Salter from Buffalo NY, and this is the coolest posting today lol. But in my opinion i think the best thing to do is apologize, think about it, it depends what the issue is, if there person does something horrible to you, usually you don't bother to apologize, but honestly, if you try to make it up with that person, than it shows how strong you are and you actually win. Waiting for the person to apologize first is not always good, because that person might not even say anything and then thats when animosity starts. I think apologizing shows how strong your are as a person.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb 10
I apologise to the people to whom i have done wrong by mistake. I do not apologise to people on everything they feed bad about if i dont think that i have done anything wrong... why would I apoloise for something which i have not done wrong.. also freinds know what would hurt you... and if they insult you they might have done it unintentionally and wouldnt think that they have hurt you.. you should tell your freind about the things that you dont like. that would bring a change in them..
1 person likes this
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
25 Feb 10
Human beings, in general, are petty. The person who doesn't mention about a hurtful incident anymore doesn't mean he has forgotten about it. Knowing this fact well, if I am at fault, I am quick to offer my sincere apology. It's even more true if that someone you hurt is very close to you. Just 3 simple words - I am sorry, really work wonders.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
25 Feb 10
Arguing has been an art for some people. Did I say 'some' people? Oh, I meant 'most of' the people.. Yes, everyone does it! Everyone argues and makes sure that he/she leaves the argument as a winner. That is why we have forgotten to say 'please or sorry or thank you!' and when someone starts using these words they are amused. There is no way to change others directly... One must being with one's self; that way, you'll encourage others to be courteous and polite. These words have the power to stop an argument.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb 10
It always do a magic while we use sorry, thank you and please. I have actually learned this magic recently. Many times i have noted other who have used these words had no problem and having good friendship with them. So i started doing the same technique which works wonders in my life.
• China
25 Feb 10
Yes, ksmita, you're right! Hurts from close ones are difficlut to forget, by contraries, they always impress deeply. Becoz we knows each other so well, the hurts are also terrible. So...even if it's hard to say sorry, I will apologize to others when I calm down. Sometimes, it's difficult to say who is wrong. But I'd like to have a word with the guy later, and apologize for my fault, also point out his/her problems.As you see, even if we apologize, hurts are also hard to be cured soon.
1 person likes this
• Slovak Republic
25 Feb 10
That has happened to me a lot, when friends say rude things and do not bother to say sorry. And the next day they act like nothing ever happened. What I have learnt is that when ever you feel you being taken for granted, just leave the relationship behind. Strangers are always easy to forget when they say something rude, but friends its a whole new case.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb 10
Hi Ksmita... I make my friends understand their mistake when they are wrong... and i admit myself when am wrong to them n say sorry... Its obvious for humans to make mistakes... hurting... arguing on issues... n all. sometimes we make mistakes in understanding the situation/problem.. and sometimes might right... its we sometimes and sometimes the other... in my view its better to make them understand the situation rather getting into argument...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
i do apologize specially if i really made mistakes, but if they dont accept my apology then i felt sorry for them coz im just trying to be true. ill just wait for them to approach me and i dont want to insist myself to them after apologizing besides i still have life to attend too.
1 person likes this
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
25 Feb 10
Well, in fact it is very hard, it's easy to say but hard to do, since there is no one like to be the guilty people, even if they were guilty, people don't want to get blame, if they feel they are wrong then they will break up for the moments in silence, and after minutes, or hours or day even weeks or year! they will open a new conversation and act if there's nothing wrong before, in other words forgot it Not every people have a brave hearts to said i'm sorry, only few of them Happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb 10
Even i have the same experience with my close friends they dont bother about what we will feel about their harsh and rude behavior. I offen use this words in order to stop the argument but they dont botter about it. Why they do this i dont know.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Feb 10
I don’t say sorry or thank you or please to my immediate family…I do so only with strangers, friends and colleagues. Actually our Indian traditional family system is such that we all are brought up to fight, forgive, forget and move on again without those terms. The above three terms are distinctly western concepts and though they may sound polite, within the family we are not used to using them often. However, I always use them with outsiders as when we are dealing with people whom we cant take for granted, we have to maintain our etiquette. Within the family, everybody is taken for granted…me included and I’m OK with that.
1 person likes this