What can't you tolerate in a relationship? meaning what is unacceptable for you?

Relationships - Deal breakers we all have them.
@apples99 (6564)
United States
February 25, 2010 6:02pm CST
Is there something that you could (not) tolerate or deal with while dating or in a relationship what is the deal breaker for you? (besides) the most popular deal breaker for most of us cheating. could you date someone who lies occasionally, or someone who has spent time in prison or any other unpleasant or dificult personal problems or circumstance's. What would be a deal breaker for you? it can be anything you personally find unacceptable I appreciate your honesty and look forward to reading your responses.
1 person likes this
20 responses
• United States
26 Feb 10
A deal breaker for me will be cheating or a guy that doesn't have any ambitions in life, I like guys that are driven, hard workers that are willing to do anything in order to be successful, but a lazy guy is something that i can't stand, obviously a guy that cheats is something that is totally unacceptable, because that is the ultimate lack of respect.
@dpk262006 (53850)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hello ap! If I'm in a relationship then mutual trust is very important, I feel. If due to any reason mistrust creeps in our relationship and the other person starts doubting my integrity, I would like to quit. Trust is most important and the moments doubts start arising, it would be better to end the relationship.
@cloud31 (5811)
26 Feb 10
A big word and a small word."Lies" i really cannot accept and tolerate lies in my relationship a big and that so called white lies,i prefer my partner would tell me honestly and earlier than i can find out myself i think relationship absolutely end by "BITTER GOODBYE" I am so broadminded kind and he can discuss matters with me but no lies, i maybe sometimes feel bad but i still can give a consideration because of what i felt and for him being honest.I can easily accept things but not lies..I will never give a chance to someone who will lie on relationship.. Happy Lotting!
• United States
26 Feb 10
The thing that has always bothered me the most is when the other person in the relationship does not treat you as one of the most important things in their life. My ex who I had dated for 3 years would always find more important things to do than spend time with me. It would get really irritiating when there would be only one day of the week when we could see each other and instead of seeing me he would choose to do other things. Guess thats why he's my ex. I am now happily married and he, at last check, is still single.
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
i guess i will not tolerate someone who just left me when the time that i needed him the most. someone whose selfish enough to just care about himself and dont even bother about my feelings. i cant accept a man who never get tired of being a lier, maybe i can accept 1st up to 3rd lie but if it becomes his habit then no thanks. i dont want to judge those whose in prison as not all of them are guilty by doing such crimes though we cant control every people's mind thinking bad when it comes to those whose in prison.
@avani26 (1521)
• India
26 Feb 10
The only thing that I cannot tolerate in a relationship is cheating. I really do not care what the person did before he met me but I would surely want him/her to tell me everything. The circumstances are not same always but if I feel the person is a changed person that what is wrong? But if I come to know that I have been cheated then I do not think I will ever to able to or forgive the person whatever be the circumstances.
@arunthvf (55)
• India
26 Feb 10
as far as me is concern every relationship must me truthful to me as it friends, relatives, etc. i very possessive in nature so would like my friends to spend more time with me rather than spending time with somebody else. if i come to know somebody is cheating i just cut there relationship.
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
26 Feb 10
I don't like manipulative and controlling people in my life. That kind of personality would be a deal breaker for me.
@malpoa (1218)
• India
26 Feb 10
It will be very difficult to date someone who lies all the time and who has a very bad police record. I had a friend whose bofriend was quite possessive about her and he had this inferiority complex. Still she loved him. One day he lied the greates of lies to me and I knew it the moment I heard it!!! I was thinking how she tolerated him!!! It is obvious that the relation did not go much further... I dislike people who are very possessive and compels me to do things the way he or his family likes.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
26 Feb 10
The only thing I expect from my girl is complete frankness about everything. I always tell her that if she doesn't like something, she should tell me immediately... I mean, she should not keep back anything... The more we open up the healthier the relation becomes... Also, honesty is the most important in all kinds of relationships...
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
26 Feb 10
People may lie to protect themselves, or feel afraid of something. But if my partner cheats on me, or say something that can put me in the corner, I won`t tolerate that. I had relationship with someone who hadn`t told me about his divorce until someone told me. He said that that failed marriage hurt is feeling so much so he didn`t want to remember anything about that, but still, i can`t tolerate that.
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
Lying is the most irritable and I can never tolerate it. If you are in a relationship, be sure that both of you are honest, transparent and trusting each other. If one person keeps on lying, then you know already that he or she is not worthy of your trust and respect. And the brother of a liar is a thief also. I guess, nobody would want a person who is a liar. Nobody is perfect, but if we tolerate sin, then we ourselves have deeper problems. Be it spiritual and mental. No one can stay long if a person continues to lie.
@reneezoso (393)
• India
26 Feb 10
well as longs as she loves me .. i dont have in problem.. and the boding continues... but lately in my past relationship...she started avodiing me. . donna may long distance thiungy was not workin out.. and was herat broken... ders no stick and fast rule for breakups... it just happens... all of a sudden.. you are happy once.. and den instant chng of mind the next instant.. life is cruel :(
@junil_jk (498)
• India
26 Feb 10
i believe that cheating, infidelity or unfaithfulness would be right at the top. for me as well they are right at the top and can't tolerate. about spending time in prison or difficult personal problems, we really need to consider the reason for being imprisoned(i'm not talking about regular criminals) or what is his/her problems. we should be supportive and try to help him/her out as much as we can. if everything fails, then may be that's gonna be a deal-breaker.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Hi apples, Cheating is a definite deal breaker for me. Honesty is real important to me so I really would have a problem with lying also. I won't date a guy who is controlling, overly jealous, manipulative or disrespectful to me or to others. As for someone who has spent time in prison...that would probably not bother me as long as he's learned from the experience. It depends really on the crime itself.
@alilin28 (1532)
• Uruguay
26 Feb 10
well, u have already said one of the reasons, but other thing i really hate in a relationship is "jealous" guy, i dont like to be controled, i dont like to tell all my life with very specific details, the places i went and the persons who went with me.. but i think that making lies is the worst, i dont like it.. of course, we are talking about a serious lie (of course, the mark is not the same for all of us), not a "silly" lie, like "the food was delicious (and was discusting).. hehe... well friend, have a nice day
@tatiana07 (498)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
In a relationshipS, i really can't tolerate cheating! I'm selfish and i don't want him to show some affection and love to others except ofcourse for his family and friends. I want his love and attention to be given to one person only and thats ME. happy mylotting!
@rosegardens (3044)
• United States
26 Feb 10
I would not want to date anyone that has been in prison. I hate to sound judgmental and hate to be this way, but how will I know he is not trying to scam me somehow? Lord have mercy on me for thinking this way. Lying is another reason I would not date someone. Also if the person dated someone that I know even casually it would feel creepy to me and I would not feel comfortable dating them.
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
Hmmm, really good question. I've though about this and I think the only thing I can't tolerate in a relationship is cheating and if the guy has no sense of respect for me and batters me through words, emotionally and physically. I think that's it, I'm putting my present relationship into context and those are the things that could make me break up with my boy friend.
• India
26 Feb 10
Relationship is a bond of faith. I won't tolerate back biting regarding anything. I won't tolerate if I come to know that my partner is not virgin. I hate lies.