Have you ever been invisible?

By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4704)
United States
February 25, 2010 8:28pm CST
I don't mean literally invisible, of course, but have you ever felt you were invisible because those around you didn't acknowledge your presence? What were the circumstances? Where were you? How did you handle the situation? Were you upset or did you enjoy it?
6 people like this
15 responses
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
I have gone through that a couple of times. I don't think about it the wrong way though. There are just so people who just don't jive with the things you like and your very different from each other. I think that It's how you face the situation and don't get discouraged about it. Just think of it that some of the people also feel this and when you feel that person you know is in that kind of state, the best thing to do is acknowledge and try to know more about that person. Atleast you were able to help that person out because you know how it feels in that state.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I love all the positivity you bring to this discussion. It is true that the situation is what you make of it. Not everyone realizes this fact, but thank you so much for reminding all of us!
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
No problem.! And thank you so much for your inspiring discussion.!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
Well, I've always felt being invisible when I was in grade school. It felt like no one often notices me, they don't even know I was in the room. Maybe because I was really shy and quiet at that time. I was so young, and I have only few friends. I don't even speak loud enough for anyone to hear. I always felt like an air before.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
19 Aug 11
Sometimes it's nice to be invisible and unnoticed when you want to be, but in school when you want to have lots of friends and perhaps meet new people it's kind of annoying. I felt the same way in school. I was quiet and shy, so when it came to making new friends, that was most definitely a huge obstacle I had to overcome.
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
27 Mar 10
I wish I could literally be invisible then I could play all sorts of practical jokes on people and get away with it,but when it comes to feeling invisible then I have had a lot of times like that,when I was in school I was a quiet shy kid,and I always stayed in the background so I felt invisible since no one liked me,and no one payed me any attention,and I basically just let it go like that until I started making friends and they helped me stop being invisible,and it did kind of upset me and it made me not want to go to school,I wanted to stay home and sleep,and play my video games,since playing video games has always made me feel better.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26893)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 10
If I could truly become invisible then I would be in ecstasy, it would be something I would love to have the ability to do, I would certainly payback a few emotional debts to people who have hurt me, sadly I only wish that invisibility meant just that, disappearing but no I have been invisible for most of my life it seems, the worst was at school, I was either bullied when invisibility would have come in useful or treated like I didn't exist. My face didn't fit, I was treated as though I wasn't there, everyone would be invited to parties, out to play games or social groups etc, but I was totally ignored. You think you'd get used to it wouldn't you? But it hurts, and as a child it can have a deep emotional impact on you which you carry through to your teens, and certainly adult life. Even now in my late thirties I am still ignored and treated as though I am invisible. Why do think I hate being around people, defensive, hostile and avoid any social situation. I have become set in my ways and I prefer a life alone away from people. People have rejected me, so I in turn reject them for what they have done to me and I don't give them the opportunity now, I reject them FIRST and treat them as invisible.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
Isn't it interesting how things that happen to us in school can affect us for the rest of our lives? I completely agree with you that people can be completely cruel! I don't blame you one bit for making the decisions you've made because here you've explained all the reasons where it makes perfect sense! When we feel rejected, to reject others is a way of protecting ourselves from the hurt that comes along with it, but of course, there's no way to hide from the emotions completely. I'm so sad for your circumstances early on, but good for you being here, and for sharing all your important thoughts here on MyLot where you will be accepted as family! You are always welcome in my circle! Take care, Wolfie!
@AmbiePam (43409)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I felt like that into my late teens. I was so shy as a kid, and my older sister (by 2 years) talked like nobody's business! So I really didn't have a chance to talk much. At the dinner table, I would raise my hand so I could get my parents and sister's attention that I wanted to say something! And then in my teenage years I was even more terribly depressed. I avoided any and all social situations if I could get away with it. When I was 22 I was diagnosed as bipolar. I was relieved to finally know why I was always so sad. I never felt like anyone ever "saw" me, and didn't care to. Of course being how I was, it wouldn't have been easy to get to know me anyway.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
That is a very interesting situation, but it's so good you found out why you were feeling sad. It's normal to be shy as a kid anyway so good for you being an observer and finding out more about yourself in the process! Thanks for sharing your story. It's always wonderful to hear from you!
@megamatt (14334)
• United States
27 Feb 10
Yes, I have felt like that no one around was willing to acknowledge my presence on an occasion or two. There are times where I feel like everyone around me is off in their own little world. Doing there own little thing and thus what I do around them is not important. There were many times like this in high school, too many to mention and none of them being specific. However, I do not really mind that. If I want to draw attention to myself, I'll draw attention to myself. However, I am not the type of person who needs to be the center of attention all of the time. Everyone can just do their own little time. Sometimes its just best to sit back and be a casual observer at best. Look at what's going on around me in the area. It did not really upset me at all. I just sat back.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
19 Aug 11
High school is a really common place to feel invisible and ignored. I think nowadays it's easy to be ignored when people are in their own worlds. I'm sure I'm guilty of the same. I get in my own bubble and drown out whatever is happening on the outside. I'll be doing something on my phone to make sure I don't forget, and my husband will be talking to me, probably telling me something really important, and I apparently nod and say ok. After he's done saying whatever, he asks me something and I swear I have to have him repeat himself every time! I don't understand how or why I do it, but it's kind of annoying for me, but way annoying to him, I'm sure! My poor husband is invisible a lot of times to me, but I should probably work on that lol!
@zed_k4 (17635)
• Singapore
27 Feb 10
For me, not really.. because I think that's because I have a great family and love ones around me. I sometimes feel moody, but to feel invisible, I haven't felt that way before. I know what you mean though.. and it can be a real bummer to be not noticed or cared for by family and love ones.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
19 Aug 11
That's so great that you have family and friends around you who really care. I'm glad you never had to experience what it feels like to be invisible when everything seems to go on around you, in spite of the fact that you're there. I don't think anyone should be "invisible" unless they want to stay under the radar and people watch or eavesdrop - lol!
@gabs8513 (48805)
• United Kingdom
26 Feb 10
Yes many a time when I was married as that is how I was made to feel by my ex Husband even when we went out he would make me feel that way I never went out a lot anyway Yes it did hurt me and it also made me go more and more into a Shell where I stayed for many Years it is only the last 5 years this Shell has been destroyed I have been divorced 6 years now and bit by bit I turned into the real me
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
19 Aug 11
That makes me very sad for you that your ex-husband made you feel that way, but I'm so glad it's been several years since you've had to deal with that. No man should make a woman feel that way! No woman deserves to be treated that way either.
• Romania
26 Feb 10
JJ4Ever it happened to me once, when I went out with my older cousin and some of his friends. Because they were older than me they were talking about all sort of things that i didn`t know, and I actually felt embarassed. But after a few minutes, I`ve understood their jokes and conversations, and told things as they did. Surprisingly it worked and the rest of the night I had the time of my life, altough at the start I was invisible for them.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Yours is a great invisibility success story, as in, you were invisible at first, but you overcame it. I'm really glad everything worked out even thought it was a little awkward and embarrassing at first.
@nolipo (407)
• United States
26 Feb 10
It seems to happen to me more than I would like. Mostly it's like I start talking and they just either start talking over the top of me or just walk out of the room. It's like am I talking to quiet? or am I just that boring.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I absolutely hate that! It's happened to me too so I'm glad I'm not the only one! It's almost embarrassing because you start saying something, and then whoever you're with either starts interrupting or begins a completely different conversation once you're done talking without even acknowledging. How rude! Yes, that is definitely one of the top items on my pet peeves list! Thanks for sharing, Nolipo!
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
26 Feb 10
I've been to a few social gatherings/parties, where I've felt invisible. But in many more instances, I wish I were invisible...a fly on the wall, so to speak, to overhear some discussions.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
18 Aug 11
I sometimes enjoy eavesdropping too lol! And people-watching is the best when you have nothing else to do. People are very interesting creatures when they don't know you're watching them ha ha!
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
26 Feb 10
The explained sort of condition is experienced quite often...may be I am not catching up with the newest trends on account of retiring from public service and the aging process setting in ...
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
18 Aug 11
I don't know if it's so much you that they are ignoring. I think a lot of times people have so much on their minds, that they're completely oblivious to everything around them.
@GardenGerty (84371)
• Marion, Kansas
26 Feb 10
My husband enjoys going to high school reunions at the high school he should have graduated from. He was in his fifties when we married, so they are all used to him being single, and he is a unique person, who never feels slighted or anything. I have gone to one or two of these, we have to travel across several states to do so. I am 95% invisible at these occasions. No one has a word to say to me. Bob can go and hang around and at least be acknowledged, but I am not. I do not enjoy it. I do try to take part in discussions, but it just does not work.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
That's really sad, especially at reunions! That is an important and very special time not to be ignored because normally those are the times when you want to be noticed the most! I guess when you stop going to all of his reunions, he'll get the point! (LOL)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
Yes, I have been invisible a lot of times. Most of it is during my high school days. I have a friend, people often call us "twins" because we sort of look alike and have the same interests. But she was more popular than me. Every time we're together, people from different levels will say hi to her but not me even though we're together. They don't bother to acknowledge me. And if she's absent or not around, that's when the time people will notice me, but later on, I would find out the only reason they talk to me is because they want to know the whereabouts of my "friend." It's so annoying at times and I often complain about it to my other friend. I had an identity crisis back then. That time is when I really felt invisible. :(
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I had a very similar situation to you so I definitely know how you feel! My sister was two years older than me so when I entered high school, I felt like I was constantly walking in her shadow everyone knew me as her sister, not as me. It was crazy! I don't blame you for feeling the way you did. I'd rather be on my own than walk in someone's shadow all the time, but of course, we've all had these moments when we feel invisible. Thanks for sharing yours!
@Hatley (143503)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Feb 10
hi jj4ever this is sort of funny so at least smile. When I was pregnant with my son,50 yrs back, this was my last visit to the ob gny before my due date. so you can imagine I was pretty big. So I had a ten oclock apointment with the ob gyn and was there at fifteen to the hour. One after another other pregnant ladies were escorted in by the nurse, I waited and waited til I knew this lady coming out was the last person who had signed the sign up sheet .then I called to the nurse,didnt you forget someone here maam? She looked at the sign up sheet and came over, Oh i am so sorry Mrs. Hatley,I just did not see you. come on back.So back I went. but I had the doctor laughing as I teased them both, how could you not see me, over this big belly? or am I invisible? the doctor pinched me gently on my arm . Helen he said, she is visible so i guess you need new glasses. she blushed and apologized again to me. I was nine months pregnant due the next day may 21 but I did not deliver to June 5th. he he.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Wow, thanks for sharing! I enjoyed reading, although I'm sure it was far from entertaining at the time. How sad! I'm glad you can laugh at it now, but that truly is an experience where you really were invisible! Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your response!