Can you really be happy loving someone and getting married to some one else?!!

India
February 27, 2010 5:55am CST
hi guys, do you think if you love some one truly and if you are getting married to someone else you can be happy with the one you married and forget your love?! i couldn even imagine a situation like that but there are people who does,but i feel that they act for others since its not really possible to forget their love.what do you think about this?
6 people like this
31 responses
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
1 Mar 10
People get married for all sorts of reasons these days... With the ongoing trend of women getting pregnant out of wedlock some people think that is the remedy for their situations which only sometimes it works and others it just makes it worst for the couple and the child .... and then there is the ones that just want to live home for whatever reasons..... I could not get married to someone without being in love with them myself..... I know in some cultures that have arranged marriages this is an accepted tradition.... The thought even of sleeping with someone I did not love would be unfounded to me also....
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
28 Feb 10
Hello Personally I would never marry someone knowing in my heart I loved someone else, its not fair to the man that thinks I am in love with him considering I said I do, why would someone put themselves through something like that, I also know people that will marry just for the sake of saying they are married, makes no sense to me, but hey to each his own I guess Thanks.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
hello thunderbala, i guess it is possible to be married to someone else yet be in love with another person. being in love is not always physical you know but being in a situation like that is not easy. happy mylotting. ann
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 10
very sad if they have to marry someone we love and do not leave the people we love. but sometimes maybe it's mate. we can not deny fate. if indeed mate would not be anywhere.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I can answer that question in one word, NO!!! Can you exist in a marriage like this yes, but can you be happy, no way. You will constantly be thinking about the oher person. This would not be fair to the person you are married to or to yourself. Plus you would constantly be resenting the person you are married to for keeping you from the one you love or for not being the one you love. It is not a good or wise situation.
@Gany15k (1674)
• India
28 Feb 10
No one should get this situation.It is really very bad.Loving someone and marrying another....! I hate this.There are people who can forget their first love and be happy by marrying another person.Here situation plays a important role.There will unavoidable situations where we should be married to another person.That is Ok.But person who just love simply and marry another ... should be buried alive.Sorry if I hurt anybody.I'm not telling all.But there are some persons.If I love a person then I will fight for that love.No matter with whom I'm fighting.I will fight.This is my opinion and don't know about others.Up to me that is a mistake.So I won't do that mistake.But I want to salute some people who just living without married even their love fails.Hats off them.Hope all will fight for their love.Anyway thanks for this good topic.Take care.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
28 Feb 10
Why not marry the one you love instead of someone else? If it is out of obligation, I do think it is likely that one can love the married partner eventually. Afterall, love needs to be nutured. If it is by force, I doubt so. Both parties will eventually be unhappy with each other and others as well.
1 person likes this
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
28 Feb 10
Is that possible? I really cannot understand how this can happen. For what I know, people usually marry the one they love. If the love for someone else happens after marriage, then I would say it's not a wise thing to do.
• Pakistan
28 Feb 10
I totally agree with you thunderbala. It is very difficult to forget the person, caused some one to fell in love. This happened with me too. I married with other than my love. Life is being passed with my life partner. But I am still missing my lost love. I can not forget and do not want to forget my lovely past with my beloved person.
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Even though it happens, I don't think one should marry another he/she doesn't love the person because they will just end up divorced or separated. If you truly love someone, then that's the person you should marry and not someone else. If you agreed to get married to a person other than the one you love, then perhaps you don't love that person after all or probably you don't love that person enough to get married to him or her. However, it's still case to case basis. My fiancee told me that he has a team member who's a Muslim and told him that her parents tried to fix a marriage for her twice. She refused because she has a boyfriend whom she loves. In news, there are people who marry just to get a visa or a citizenship in certain country, then after 2 years they will get a divorce or separation. Still, others get married for money. I don't have anything against those people. It's their choice anyways. But that's really it - a matter of personal choice and decision. You can get married to a person whom you do not love or who doesn't love you, but i can't say that you will really be happy. You can learn to love that person, though, and eventually be happy.
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
i dont think so.. for me its hard to do that, its better not to marry, let that person go, it will be unfair to him to get married to me and then i dont love him and there was a fact that i loved someone else, it will be hard to be in a relationship and used that relationship to forget someone that i cnt have. much better to be alone and just get married if am really ready and not because forgetting someone..
1 person likes this
@fianne (1059)
• United States
27 Feb 10
it depends i guess. you can love someone else while being married to someone. well, it just matters on how you love that someone else and he or she loves you back in return considering you are married. but i believe the marriage won't last especially if you are not happy with your spouse. you keep thinking of your someone else and keep in touch with him. marriage and love must come together, not separate.
1 person likes this
@busybee10 (3191)
• India
27 Feb 10
Love is something pure and can be shared preferably with only one. You spend so much of time and money to extend this love towards a person and how can you marry another.If this is the case then you would not have love one -could have just married . This really hurts both hearts which is unbearable and is not at all encouraged
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 10
They are silly if they do that and yes I know that People do this They do not realise that they are wrecking their Life's and the one they got married to
1 person likes this
• India
27 Feb 10
There is old saying if you want to lead the happy life then marry the person who love you not to the person whom you love.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
I'm sorry.. I must not agree on this. It is impossible. If ever it is possible it would be a real battle. My wife was engaged to be married when we met. But the other guy was overseas. They see each other once a year for a week or so. The longest perhaps is a month. When we fell in love with each other we knew that getting into a relationship would be terribly wrong. But we were not able to stop what is meant to be. We were not able to stop fate. We tried though to turn away from each other. But it only made us want each other more. So we agreed. I was afraid that she would lose what's supposed to be a grand future for her. That's why I was hesitant. I was also afraid that I might not be able to give her the security that the other guy is so capable of giving her. I was but an ordinary boy wandering around. Now we are happy. We have no regrets. She broke it off with the guy. She said she barely knew anything about the person. They've been dating for seven years. But for us, 1 month together sure felt a hell lot longer than seven years.
@skater95 (63)
• United States
27 Feb 10
No, because if you get married to someone else, and you love the other person more, you're just gona live your life saying what if. It sucks for those that it happens to them, but thats what you get for rushing into things too fast. But, there are things like divorce that will let you live with your true love, but then again you're kindof messing up your husband/wife's and possibly your children's lives.
1 person likes this
@enyoboy (11)
• Nigeria
27 Feb 10
This such are case will make you to live forever as a stranger. Yes a stranger to the one you are married to since your hearth can never be together. Its better you never made such a mistake, no matter what, because it can even put you in hell while hear on earth
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
There must be a reason why he would marry the one that he doesn't love?? It's maybe money,parental or whatever the reason may be. Then, In my opinion If the feelings will developed then he can forget the one he truly love,but if not.. he can be so miserable, cos he can't forget his past and the one he truly love..and he'll be with the girl he married,unless he will go for divorce.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Feb 10
I think we all go thru different kinds of love. In our teenage years and early youth, we have many infatuations and calf-love which we outgrow and in such cases we fall in love again and again till we meet our soulmate. But once we meet a person and feel that we can spend our entire life with him/her, then its really difficult to forget such a person. even if we are married to some other person and become parents, its not really possible to forget that other person who was the first true love.
1 person likes this