Never good enough?

@alinka (184)
Greece
February 28, 2010 5:28pm CST
Are your parents proud of you?Because mine never were,atleast never said it to me.Im talking especially about my mother since my father doesn't live with us anymore.I remember,during the highschool she would never said this stuff to me,actually she would had said that i could do better...never better enough.I got used to it in time and stopped trying to reach her unknown standards.We had some arguments about this problem but never got a clear answer back.I can't lie that it wasn't hurting my feelings and always belived that if i had her saying to me that she's proud of me it would motivate me to make it even better.I would never have this attitude with my children in these situations. Did this happened to you or would you act like this with your childrens?
5 responses
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
1 Mar 10
I think that there are some parents who are like that. Just understand, and tell her how you really feel. You need her support and tell you that she was happy with what you did. Open up, that's what you could do for now
@alinka (184)
• Greece
1 Mar 10
I understand but ,you know,somehow i became more tough because of this and i've decided to forget about it.Thank you for answering my post,yresh12.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
It happens am glad that you became tougher because of this and I wish you the best of luck!
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
My parents have always been proud of me..not because I excel in school or in lfe but they are proud of me because of me..that I'm their precious daughter. I grew up without my Dad..however whenever we have time to talk to each other he makes me feel that he is proud of me. You are right alinka..let's be proud of our children, it will really help them a lot as they grow up Us parents are like winds beneath their wings...
@alinka (184)
• Greece
28 Feb 10
Thank you for understanding my point,workingmoms.And for posting :)
• United States
1 Mar 10
This happen to me as well. I grew up poor in a trailer park and times were tough. My grandparents are the ones that raised me and the only parents I ever knew. Unfortunately for me this meant that i grew up under the "children should be seen and not heard" adage. With all there old fashion values they could never really be bothered to tell me any thing positive about my deeds. I know how bad it hurts. I was forced to except this about them. In the end it thought me that I had to be proud of myself when no one else was. In my case it was the lack support that pushed me even harder to be better than what was or was not expected of me. Now I thank them for it because I have learned a strength that I might not have otherwise. In the same light I don't think that I could be like that with my own children. I want them to be strong yes but I think that given the encouragement I never had they would be better. It is hard not to act like that with them given the cycle that is caused by those actions but it is possible to transcend that and evolve past it.
1 Mar 10
My mum lets me know when shes proud of me, my dad doesn't but according to my mum he will tell her he was proud of me but he just can't seem to say it straight to me.
• India
28 Feb 10
The older generation of parents believed mostly in maintaining a stiff upper lip - thats almost universal i guess, just like teachers believed in the axiom - spare the rod and spoil the child. My father maintained a distance over all his children including my brothers and yes, there were times i wished if he could have been more free, i could have talked more personally with him- but it was never to be. I am close to my mother and the result is a lot of frequent fights of disagreement. Just as you, i want my children to know that i am proud of them and whatever they do, i will always be there to support them. My wife says I am spoiling the kids. The only time i get angry with her is when she scolds the kids and i see tears in their eyes. So, I have this situation where my wife thinks I am insane and my kids, both of them think that each one is my father and not vice versa and yes, i love family life.