Can you forgive and forget easily?

United States
March 1, 2010 1:10pm CST
I can be a very nice person, I like to help people, but I am also very sensitive, so when someone that I love hurt me, it is very hard for me, and my reaction is cut ties with him/her. My reaction is always cut ties with the people that have hurt me, so when that person comes back apologizing it is hard to me to forgive and forget all the damage done. How about you? Do you have an easy or hard time forgiving people?
5 people like this
32 responses
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
1 Mar 10
for minor things then yes its easily forgiven and forgotten...but the thigns that have been life altering for me and damaging to me then no I dont forgive nor do I ever forget...AND I dont think its necessary....People have a hard time understanding that though but fact is I'm one of those ppl who DOES NOT carry some sort of bitterness around with me like many would like to believe..
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 10
I am like you, I don't carry bitterness either, for will be much more worst, to have to be around that person, then I will carry bitterness, and as you said people have a hard time to understand that, they think that because I don't forgive that person my life is bad and I only think about how that person hurt me, I just don't want to be associated with people that has hurt me.
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7561)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I am like you and I am very sensitive and when someone I care about hurts me it affects me badly. But when that person comes back and apologizes to me I am willing to accept their apology and forgive them. Sometimes I feel like if they are asking for forgiveness then they genuinly feel bad about what they did to hurt me.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
hi laura, you reminds me of my mom my mom is such a good person, she's always willing to help. But if someone betrayed her then she can really be a bad enemy and cut ties, it will took long long time for her to forgive. Me I can easily forget but not forgive
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
oh.. I can easily forgive but not forget
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
common attitude ... yes easy to forgive but to forget it's not easy ... especially if the people have done you wrong are very close to your heart ...
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
well said michelle
@anjohanna (156)
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
yes! I do forgive easily. But we all know that it is not easy to forget what the person did to you. Forgiving is easy, but forgetting takes time.
@Chad525 (349)
• Canada
2 Mar 10
For me...forgiving is easy...forgetting is impossible.
• Canada
1 Mar 10
No, I don't think I forgive and forget easily... but it's also situational. In a lot of cases, I'll forgive something that was said or done to me but I can admit, in all honesty, that I don't forget about it. I wouldn't say I carry a grudge but, if someone really hurts me deeply, I will never forget that they were able to do it... so it tends to prevent me from ever getting as close to them again.
• United States
3 Mar 10
totally agree with you, you couldn't have say it better, that is exactly how I am, it is not that I am thinking all the time how horrible that person hurt me, but I prevent myself to be too close to him/her again, for the fear that something bad could happen again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
Well, I think I am like you, on the part that I like to help people too and I am very very sensitive. But on the forgive and forget part. I think I can forgive easily but I never forget. We won't be the same anymore once they've done something bad to me. I can forgive them, but I won't forget and after that everything will not be same.
@airakumar (1555)
• India
12 Mar 10
Well, it depends. It's not always that I forgive and forget. I can forgive but forgetting is possible if it is not repeated. My mom use to say that if you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you'll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive. Yes, I agree with her. I can forgive yes but it depends if I can forget or not. After all, it all in our mindset..I know without the thought of forgiveness if you forget incidents which are unpleasant or which are really hard to forget.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
I can forget easily but if the person who hurt me cross paths all the hurt that i feel really flashed on my mind. I know that a lot of people experience the way we feel. It is easy to forgive but to forget i really doubt it. it really takes time to erase all the memories. As the saying goes time heals all wound right? but it will always leave a scar behind.
• India
2 Mar 10
yeah to avoid extra burden of life and to live freshly every day..it is good policy to forgiev and forget the things which are not so much importent for long life
• India
2 Mar 10
ya i usually do it.......i can forgive n forgot easily........n i like to b like this......
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
2 Mar 10
Basically i forgive others for hurting me but i will never forget those bad day. I will always have them in mind. But i easily forgive, if they apologize. But if they repeat the same, sure then its my turn to hurt them. I do this to let them know the pain of hurt, atleast after that people stop hurting others knowingly!!
• India
2 Mar 10
why should i forgive and forget because i believe in given and take procedure
@freeboy90 (458)
• Italy
2 Mar 10
For me it depends on how bad they have hurt me. I usually am very open to forgive after some minutes, sometimes I need a day or two to let the anger go away, but then I can forgive and forget only if I can see that person feels sorry for what has done to me. Other times when someone does something really bad to me and maybe even more than once then I will put a big cross on them, they will not exist for me anymore, I have had that with people that I see daily and after years I still don't have any relationship with them, no talks not greeting and so on.
@fianne (1059)
• United States
2 Mar 10
honestly, no, it is very hard to forgive and forget. asking for forgiveness will not return back what has been damaged. it is hard for me to forget, i keep on rewinding it, throwing it back again and again especially if i was reall hurt. that's how i manage it to get over it, if i hide, it will haunt me. i also tried running, but when i see the person who made something bad to me, it will just come back to me.
• United States
2 Mar 10
Yes, I can. This is one of the main spiritual rules of most religions. There is a practical reason I try to do this as well. I am hurting myself if I continue to harbor any enmity towards anyone. We all know about the mental anguish, but it also produces physical problems such as high blood pressure and stiff muscles. It is better to forgive and forget and not just for the other person, but for yoursel too. I will admit, however, that somethings are harder to forgive than others, so I guess it depends what or who is being forgiven and forgotten.
• China
2 Mar 10
That depends! When someone hurt me deeply I think I can't forget and forgive easily. But when he/she makes an apology for me ,I would forgive him/her.I am a good tempered person but even that,I would hardly forget the things easily especially if my close friends do that to me. Maybe I can keep relationship with the friends like before,but I would remember the things if I think I really get hurt.
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
2 Mar 10
For most "transgressions" I forgive fairly fast, but it depends on how someone has hurt me, whether I forget very fast. But I find the older I get, may be it's just old age, and I really can't remember, that I forget faster too.
@JaneRoth (21)
• United States
2 Mar 10
It depends on how you feel. Do you want this person in your life or have your outgrown this person. Hope this helps. Lady Jane from NYC
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
hi there laura_lmaxi, as for me, when a person done something wrong with me, i can't really forget that in my entire life especially if i can see the person who have done wrong to me, all things he or she have done me will all be coming back in my mind ... i just pray and talk to God that He will forgive me why I have this kind of reactions or have this kind of attitude ... it's just that this is ME. Its sounds like planting iside within your self bitterness but when i can't see the person i am okey, can't even think that i have known a person like that, my problem just occur when i can see that person because it will really shows what i have got for him/her with the things they have done me.
• United States
2 Mar 10
If its something that is major then it is very hardd for me to forgive and forget. Im like you in my past when someone hurts be really bad i have ran from it and cut ties with them. I think the hardest part is the forgetting. I have managed to forgive my husband for something he did in the past but its the forgetting part i cant ever do so it will eventually be the end of our marriage. Some people say if you fully forgive someone for something theyve done then the forgetting goes with that... i just cant seem to get that forgetting step right. I think its sorta normal to run from painful situations and cut ties.