Letting them Down

While I can appreciate your concern for your kids.. I personally would not look at this as letting my children down. You had to look after your husband, and your children were taken care of my trusted family members. How is that letting them down? I'm sure they enjoyed spending time with their grandma and other family members. Your children are learning that you're more than just their mom, you're also a wife, and it's important that you see to your husband when he needs you. I think this is a good life experience for the kids. I wouldn't feel as if they were let down, I'd just explain to them how important it was for you to look after their dad while he was ill, and that you would have wanted them there too if you could.

I don't have kids but I would like to say that you sound like a very loving mother. But if you feel they haven't been getting the attention they deserve, maybe you could treat them on an upcoming weekend..say.. to chucke cheese or somewhere like that. I know I would like that if I were a kid. :)

i didn't feel that you had let your children down at all... not even a bit... your hubby is sick and he needs your care and attention more than your children at the moment... i think your children would be able to understand that... he is also their father anyway... especially you had put them in a good care... so you had done your responsibility as a good mother... just concentrate in looking after your hubby at the moment and i hope he will get well really soon... take care and have a nice day...

Yes I have twice. Both where when my two younger children where born and had to be kept in the NICU both over two weeks. It is probably harder on you though then on them. Remember though they miss you they are getting to spend time with family they probably don't get to spend that much time with so for them it was a treat. I did do something to make myself feel better about not being there with them. I made sure to read stories to them while I was around and then we made cards for the sick sister. I also took them each out to eat on their own so they got a little one on one time with me. In the end it was me who felt guilty while they had the time of their lives playing with people who love to spoil them.

As others have said, I don't think you're letting your kids down. Rather, it may be the case that you feel guilty for not being able to spend time with them the way you normally do. At least that's the way I felt when I had the baby a few months ago. My stay at the hospital was longer than expected, and like you said, there was a strict hospital policy of not letting children visit anyone - because of the flu "epidemic". We had planned for my little one to come visit her new baby brother - but even siblings weren't allowed in (when they normally do allow that). I felt sad that my daughter was without me . . . but I know she was in good hands with my parents and hubby when he was at home. So, when I finally did come home and from then on, life and routines have changed. Dealing with a new baby, I've had to lessen the time I would normally have spent with my older one - we can't do "everything" that we used to do or go to places at any time in an instant. Now that things have settled in a lot, it's still "shared time" and that's the way it is. At times, my hubby will take my daughter out to make her feel special "just because". I feel bad I can't spend a lot of alone time with my oldest one . . . yet I feel bad that I haven't done as much for the baby as much as I did for my daughter at that age . . . but I know I'm going to drive myself nuts if I feel bad/guilty all the time about this. And so now, we try to do more "family" things now so that all family members are included. It's not necessarily about her time or his time . . . it's "our" time.

Too many times! Sometimes when the kids will hound me because they want something, and although I've already explained it to them that these things that they want aren't necessary, I still feel that I've let them down on some level. As a parent, I always want to provide for them, but circumstances sometime prevent from giving them everything that they want. Yet, they don't seem to mind. Bless the kids. Hang in there dorannmwin!

hi dorannmwin you are much harder on yourself than your children willbe as they understand with their dad so ill and in pain that you had to be with him . you can take them out separately one at atime and have some special time with each child, then together. but I am sure they love'you and know you were really worried about their dad.

I am sure your children don't feel that you have let them down at all, even thougt you feel you have. Don't be so down on yourself. You are lucky that you have such a good family to help you out and I am sure the kids were really well cared for. I think all you can do now is just try and get things back to normal. If you feel like doing something special just spend a day out with the kids, take them for an ice cream and tell them how proud of them you are for being so good while you were away. I hope that helps.